FOURTH SUNDAY AFTER EPIPHANY
1st February 2004
QUOTES OF THE WEEK
Homosexuality in humans would not necessarily be wrong even if it were found in no other species, and it is not right because it is found in zebras or musk-oxen. Wives may not murder their husbands just because the females of some species of spider kill and eat the males after mating, and fathers may not kill their children just because male grizzly bears do so. In deciding how to behave or not to behave, we cannot look to the long-eared hedgehog for guidance. We must decide for ourselves. Unknown
Singing is near miraculous because it is the mastering of what is otherwise a pure instrument of egotism: the human voice.
Anon
A PRAYER FOR THIS WEEK
Holy Christ, bless me with your presence when my days are weary and my friends few. Bless me with your presence when my joy is full, lest I forget the giver in the gift. Bless me with your presence when I shall make an end of life. Help me in the darkness to find the ford, and in my going comfort me with your promise that where you are, there shall your servant be. Amen.
Hebridean
DIFFERING PERSPECTIVES
Some years ago "The Times" ran the following two announcements consecutively in its "In Memoriam" column:
Oliver Cromwell, 25th April, 1599 - 3rd September 1658. Lord Protector, 1653-1658. Statesman, General and Ruler. "Let God arise, let His enemies be scattered" Psalm 681.
Cromwell. To the eternal condemnation of Oliver, Seditionist, Traitor, Regicide, Racialist, proto-Fascist and blasphemous Bigot. God save England from his like. - Hugo Ball.
STRANGE DIAGNOSES
Though well educated, doctors remain fallible
By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
Patient was released to the outpatient department without dressing.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
The patient refused an autopsy.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.
The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.
The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early August.
OF SPARROWS AND FRIENDS
Fr Andrew Neaum
A trip to the cemetery with undertakers in a hearse can be surprisingly merry. Just as many clergymen apologise for their dog collars by unholier than thou poses, so many undertakers apologise for their professional decorousness by a proclivity for extreme and irreverent jokes and stories. Some of their stories are more usefully salutary than irreverent however.
The Sparrow's Enemy
One undertaker told me about a funeral of a keen breeder of aviary birds. Just as the parson began his homily a sparrow strayed into the church and fluttered about among the rafters. The parson, a good improviser, drew everyone's attention to it and said, "Look! A sparrow. How wonderful! Wouldn't Bert, with his great love of little birds, rejoice to have one fluttering around and paying its last respects at his funeral?"
Everyone in the congregation knew only too well, however, that Bert hated sparrows with a passion beyond telling. Sparrow's stole his birds' food and brought them disease. He shot them with single-minded pleasure!
The Sparrow's Friend
The first church of which I was rector had air vents along the high peak of its roof. They had little iron peaked caps. Looking up at them from inside the church, you often espied the fluffy bottoms of sparrows. They liked to perch on the rim, sheltered from hawks beneath the peaked cap, to add their querulous alleluias to mine during daily mattins and evensong. Strangely their fluffy bottoms were piously deferential and so never ever dropped droppings into the church. Thus, in looking up at them, I was spared the fate of Tobit who, you remember, was blinded by sparrows who "muted warm dung into his eyes"!
The Parson's Friend
This particular church had an aumbry with one of those bulbs in front of it that emit a pseudo candle-flicker of light in the shape of a cross. This to mark our Lord's sacramental presence at the parish's heart and to help focus attention upon him during prayer and devotion.
I was once showing my best friend over this church and he, being a good anglo-catholic, dutifully genuflected to our Lord as we passed before the flickering bulb. "Oh," I said, "The aumbry is temporarily empty. There were more people in hospital than usual this morning, but I forgot to turn off the light." "Eek!" said my friend, crossing himself. "Blasphemy! I have bowed down to wood and stone." Very funny I thought.
The Parson's Friend Fooled
I once pulled off a satisfyingly successful practical joke on this particular friend. He used to send me a copy of his parish magazine and in one there was an article he had written commending the use of the rosary. It ended with a particularly extreme and unacceptable comment that raised my Anglican bile. I wrote an outraged reply and refutation over a pseudonym. Two days later I received a phone call from my friend asking me if I knew who his respondent was. I did not. How can any one know someone who does not exist? He went on to say, "He is obviously a very intelligent man judging from his vocabulary and such sophisticated arguments...." This was indeed sweet music to me! Corroboration of my half-suspected genius from a critical and intelligent friend! Marvellous. I did not let on. So my letter appeared in his next magazine with an elaborate two pages long refutation that had obviously been laboured over for hours. His anger, when I broke the news to him, was not so much at being duped over a letter as at being tricked into calling me intelligent! He was mollified by the gift of two bottles of very good wine. He remains my oldest and best friend.
Friendship is important to us all, perhaps particularly to parsons. With friends we don't have to be either holier than thou or unholier than thou. We can be ourselves, appreciated for ourselves. Because it is difficult ever really to be yourself in your own parish, where potentially everyone is under your professional care, or, if of another denomination or none, is likely to be in close relationship with those who are, friendships with one's fellow parsons are particularly valuable. As too are friends who pre-date ordination. I met and befriended the fellow I have been talking about at university and we know each other only too well. I rejoice when one of his long and literate letters turns up in the post once or twice a year.
Philip Sparrow
But back to my feathered friends the sparrows. They are dear to God's heart, Jesus tells us. One of the loveliest poems in the English language is a long lamentation to a dead pet sparrow called Philip, written by the outspoken, wild, poet-parson and one time tutor to Henry VIII, John Skelton:
Lord how he would hop
After the gressop!
And when I said, `Phip, Phip!'
Then he would leap and skip,
And take me by the lip.
Alas, it will me slo
That Philip is gone me fro!
(A gressop, by the way, is a grasshopper)
BOSWELL AND JOHNSON
An excellent book is "His Presumptious Task". It is all about James Boswell's writing of the greatest biography in the English language, his "Life of Johnson". There was far more to Boswell than meets the eye.
Johnson is a hero of mine, one of those all to rare, brilliant men who, while superficially odd and even a little mad, yet has his feet on rock-solid, moral ground. Here is a lesser known example of his wisdom:
Johnson: "There's as much charity in helping a man downhill as in helping him uphill."
Boswell: "I don't think there's as much charity."
Johnson: "Yes, sir, if his tendency be downwards. Till he's at bottom, he flounders. Get him to it, and he's quiet. Swift tells that Stella had a trick, which she learnt from Addison, to encourage a very absurd man in absurdity, rather than strive to pull him out of it."
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Popularity is a crime from the moment it is sought; it is only a virtue where men have it whether they will or no. Halifax
INSPIRATION
Seeking to inspire the staff, the boss had the personnel manager place a sign directly above the sink in the men's toilets. It had just one word on it: THINK! The next day the boss was in the toilet and saw that there was a second sign right below the first, just above the soap dispenser. A sign with one word: THOAP.
AN UNUSUAL FEBRUARY
I mentioned in a previous pew-sheet how unusual it must be for there to be five Sundays in February. It can only happen when a Sunday falls on the first day of that month and during a Leap Year, as is the case this year. Ron Rose, who reads his pew sheet and also is of an enquiring mind full of all sorts of tid-bits of unusual information, decided to look in to the matter and last week gave me a list of the years with five Sundays in February. It turns out that they occur only three or four times in a century! This February is to be savoured then, it is a rare February indeed.
CHOIR PRACTICE
On Thursday at 7.30pm there is a choir practice for all who can sing, like to sing and are happy to be a part of a permanent choir at the 8.30 Eucharist. Eventually I hope to get an ensemble of some sort going to augment singing at 10.30, preferably including young folk, but open to anyone who can play an instrument. Expressions of interest welcome.
LENT GROUPS
During Lent there will be a study group on Wednesday nights, following a Eucharist and a light meal of soup and bread. The Eucharist at 6.00pm, the study starting at 7.15. Those interested please sign up in the Narthex.
PLAYGROUP
Playgroup starts on Tuesday Feb 3rd. 10 a.m. till 12 noon. Everyone Welcome. For further information contact Ros Dunlop 58 269 453. Dates of Playgroup for the term:
February 3rd, 10th, 17th, 24th
March 2nd, 9th, 16th, 23rd 30th.
CONGRATULATIONS
Congratulations to Pat Gibson who received in the Australia Day Honours the Order of Australia Medal, she is a most worthy recipient of this great honour. Congratulations too to Verne and Joyce Auldrige who celebrate their 50th Wedding Anniversary on Friday 6th of February.
BAPTISM PREPARATION
There is a Baptism Preparation session in the Narthex on Tuesday at 7.30pm.
REPORTS FOR AGM
The AGM is held on Ash Wednesday, the 25th of February. All reports for this should be handed in to the Parish Office more than a week prior to this date.
KATANDRA GUILD AGM
There is a Eucharist and the A.G.M. of Katandra Guild on the 4th Feb at 11.30am. It is followed by a light lunch.
DOOKIE GUILD
The Dookie Guild meets at 2.00pm on the 6th of February.
CHILDREN'S CHURCH NEXT WEEK
There is a list in the Narthex for the names of children to whom we can send an invitation to Children's Church next week on the 8th February. On that Sunday, the second of each month, there will also be a BYO BBQ to which all are welcome. Attenders at the 8.30am Eucharist are welcome to come back for the BBQ if they wish.
STAMPS PLEASE
Continue to save your stamps for A.B.M. Last year $1,000 was made from this very simple venture it's recycling at it's best. They can be left at the office.
KATANDRA AND DOOKIE
Fr Andrew hopes to be at Dookie and Katandra on the 29th of February, the 28th of March and the 18th of April. These Sundays at Katandra will be "Family Services".
DUTIES 1st February 2004
Readers 8.30 Jeanette Smith, Norm Weaver
Readers 10.30 Liz Booth, Peter Martin
Servers 8,30 Beth, Rachel, Emma
Servers 10.30 Jenny Waite
Euch. Assists 8.30 John Griffin, Carole Henderson
Euch. Assists 10.30 Bev Condon, Maureen Cormican
Intercessors Carole Henderson, Joan O'Reilly
Welcoming 8.30 Shirley Dean, Bev Reither
Welcomers 10.30 Charlotte Brewer, Christine Jones
Sidespeople 8.30 Norm Miitchelmore, Joy Campbell
Sidespeople 10.30 John & Jenny Pleming
Tea 8.30 Wilma Spence
Mowing John Moore & John Pleming
DUTIES FOR 8th February 2004
Readers 8.30 Norm Mitchelmore, Heather Carlyon
Readers 10.30 Jenny Pleming, Charlotte Brewer
Servers 8,30 Michelle, Stephen, Debbie
Servers 10.30 Jenny Pleming, Zebedee, Joan McCann,
Euch. Assists 8.30 Bev Condon, Heather Fitzgerald
Euch. Assists 10.30 Christine Evans, Carole Henderson
Intercessors Bev Condon, Children
Welcoming 8.30 Beryl Goodfellow, Cecily McDonald
Welcomers 10.30 Frank Steen, Jill Waterson
Sidespeople 8.30 Trevor Batey, Victoria Heenan
Sidespeople 10.30 Alan Akers, Adrian Evans
Tea 8.30 Bev Reither
Mowing Alan Akers, Mervyn & Stephen Cowland
PRAYER
Prayer List
Liam Bognar, Rosalie & Phil Brown, Betty Bush, Bob Butcher, Adie Edwards, Rita Esam, Richard Goodfellow, Iris Grant, Ron Hall, the Harrison Family, Jean Hastie,Fr Wayne Ireland, Isobel Kerr, Hilder Lidgard, Ann Mills, Joan O'Reilly, John Perry, Ray Prosser, Gwen & Bob Scott, Roger Saville, Gill & Lawrie Slater, Peter & Eva Swindells, Anne Tacey, Des Walker, May Wallace, Brian Warel, Malcolm Waterson, Ashley, Brydie & baby Taya, Bruce, Natalie & baby Alexandra,David, Elizabeth, Faith, Gary, Joyce, Keith, Midge,
Rest in Peace
Edie Alexander
Anniversary of Death
Christina Meckharoff 4th, May Stonehouse 5th.
IMPORTANT DATES
Feb 7th Wedding 2.00pm
Feb 7th Wedding 3.30pm
Feb 8th Children's Church 10.30am
Feb 14th Wedding 3.00pm
Feb 15th Harvest Festival
Feb 25th Ash Wednesday and AGM
Feb 29th Family Service Katandra
Mar 21st Mothering Sunday
Mar 25th Lady Day - Wangaratta
April 11th Easter Day
May 18th - 21st Annual Priests' Retreat
May 26th St Augustine's Patronal Festival
May 28th-29th Synod
Jun 5th Ugandan Martyrs - Breakfast
June 16th Mass for Africa
Oct 3rd St Francistide Pet Blessing
Nov 13th Parish Fair
THIS WEEK
Monday February 2nd Presentation of our Lord
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
2.00pm Funeral - Mooroopna
5.30pm Evening Prayer
Tuesday February 3rd 27th John Chrysostom
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
Father Andrew's day off
5.30pm Evening Prayer
7.30pm Baptism Preparation
Wednesday February 4th
7.45am Mattins - Lady Chapel
10.00am Eucharist - St Augustine's
11.00am Banksia Lodge
11.30am Katandra Guild Eucharist and AGM
1.30pm Hakea Lodge
5.30pm Evening Prayer
Thursday February 5th Martyrs of Japan
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
5.30pm Evening Prayer
7.30pm Inter Church Council - Wesley
7.30pm Choir Practice
Friday February 6th
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
2.00pm Dookie Guild
2.30am Anglicare Meeting
5.30pm Wedding Rehearsal
5.30pm Evening Prayer
Saturday February 7th
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
3.30am Wedding - St Augustine's
5.30pm Evening Prayer
Sunday February 8th
8.00am Mattins - Lady Chapel
8.30am Sung Eucharist - St Augustine's
9.00am Eucharist - St Luke's Dookie
10.30am Eucharist & Children's Church - St Augustine's
10.45am Eucharist - St Mary's Katandra West.
5.30pm Evening Prayer