FOURTH SUNDAY IN LENT
Mothering Sunday
21st March 2004
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
Max Hastings wrote in the Guardian, "It is hard not to hate George Bush. His ignorance and conceit, his professed special relationship with God, invite revulsion." Just for the record, he does not claim a "special relationship" with God, just a relationship. But to secular Europe, where fewer and fewer profess any sort of relationship with the Big Guy, even that modest claim is enough for them to lump him in the same category as his near neighbours in Texas, the incinerated cultists of Waco. Malcolm Fraser, the former Australian prime minister and like Sir Max a nominal conservative, calls the Bush administration "fundamentalist". If one had to distil into one sentence the contempt that Britain's great thinkers have for Tony Blair, it would be from Jeremy Paxman's interrogation about the Prime Minister's relationship with the President: "Do you pray together?" The studio audience sniggered. America is the last religious nation in the Western world, the last in which a majority of the population are practising believers and regular attenders of church (or synagogue, or mosque). So Bush praying is only a joke to foreigners like Pax'n'Max..... to the American people, Bush is normal, not weird. Going to church is normal. Going to Bible study is normal. Buying albums of sacred songs by country singers is normal. Mark Steyn
ARTHRITIC
A man, who smelled like a distillery, flopped down on a train seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the dishevelled man turned to the priest and said, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man." "Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading that the Archbishop of Canterbury does."
THE 18th CAMEL
A certain Arab had three sons. When he died, he left in his will instructions about dividing up his property among them. Everything was quite straightforward except for the camels. Of these there were seventeen, and the will said that half were to go to the eldest son, a third to the middle son, and a ninth to the youngest. The sons had no more success than you or I would have done in dividing 17 by 2, 3 or 9 and ending up with non-amputated camels; so finally in desperation, they went to a neighbour, an old friend of their father's, and asked his advice. The neighbour said: "I have a camel. I will lend it to you, and you will find that it will come out alright." So he did; and, of course, once they had 18 camels, it was simple enough; the eldest son took half, that was 9, the second a third, that was 6, and the youngest a ninth, that was 2, making (and this is the point) 17 camels in all. The neighbour then took his own camel back, and all was well.
(From a sermon by J A Baker which makes out a good case for Jesus being the 18th camel.....)
DAMMED
Ingenious double pun from Thomas Hood: Holland...lies so low they're only saved by being dammed"
IMPOTENCE
His Royal Highness, David, king of Israel,
When his strength with age began to fail,
His eyes with cataracts grow blurred and dim,
Arthritic feebleness spread through every limb;
Then felt the need for love, affection, care,
A gentle hand to smooth his grizzled hair,
A breast to lean upon and arm to hold,
A bosom friend to keep at bay the cold,
A mate to nuzzle close to in his bed,
To soothe, to pat, to stroke his lordly head,
To feed his toothless mouth soft baby food,
To hold at bay insistent suppliants rude & crude.
And so a search was made both far and wide
For someone to be constant by his side,
And Abishag the Shunamite was found,
Vivacious, sparkling, plumply curved & round.
She loved and cared for David day and night,
He never let her wander from his sight,
Until, at last, to Sheol he made his way,
The land of shadows drear, half night, half day.
So leaving Abishag his little Shunamite,
His comfort, darling dear and chief delight
With more regret than all his warrior fame,
His epic poems, lyric gifts or worthy name.
For nothing hurts as much the human heart
As being forced from love and kindness to depart,
Especially love and kindness when you're old,
A wreck that loving arms yet still enfold!
This moving tale of mighty David's end
Could surely no one but a prude offend,
For how its irony should please us,
Its piquant, sharp reversal tease us.
A virgin, safe in randy David's arms!
The king, unmoved, unstirred, by virgin charms!
The lusting, leching, uncontrolled wild fire
That did to death the cuckold spouse Uriah,
Quenched, died out, put out, burnt out and spent!
There's something in this story heaven sent.
Yet prurient prudes of liberal bent and breeding,
Have culled it from our daily bible reading.
Thus making me as impotent with rage
As David was made impotent with age.
Fr Andrew Neaum
PRAYERS DURING THE FOURTH WEEK OF LENT
To be said, if possible, daily
In the Name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.
O Christ, my Lord, again and again I have said with Mary Magdalene,"They have taken away my Lord and I know not where they have laid him." I have been desolate and alone. And you have found me again, and I know that what has died is not you, my Lord, but only my idea of you, the image which I have made to preserve what I have found, and to be my security. I shall make another image, O Lord, better than the last. That too must go, and all successive images, until I come to the blessed vision of yourself, O Christ, my Lord.
Remember the past day and think of two sins. Be sorry and purpose amendment
O Lamb of God you take away the sins of the world: have mercy upon me.
O Lamb of God you take away the sins of the world: have mercy upon me.
O Lamb of God you take away the sins of the world: Grant me thy peace.
Grant me, O God, the heart of a child, pure and transparent as a spring; a simple heart, which never harbours sorrows; a heart glorious in self-giving, tender in compassion; a heart faithful and generous, which will never forget any good or bear a grudge for any evil. Make me a heart gentle and humble, loving without asking any return, large-hearted and undauntable, which no ingratitude can sour and no indifference can weary; a heart penetrated by the love of Jesus whose desire will only be satisfied in heaven. Grant me, O Lord, the mind and heart of your dear Son.
Remember your loved ones. Imagine them, be thankful and pray for them
Lord in your mercy hear my prayer.
Recall some of the folk you have met during the past 24 hours and pray for them...
O Lord, I remember before you all the workers of the world: workers with hand or brain: workers in cities or in the fields: those who go forth to toil and those who keep house: employers and employees: those who command and those who obey: those whose work is dangerous: those whose work is monotonous or mean: those who can find no work to do: those whose work is the service of the poor or the healing of the sick or the proclamation of the Gospel of Christ at home or in foreign places. Amen.
Continue to read ruminatively the Gospel of St Mark....
A MORNING PRAYER
New every morning is the love
our wakening and uprising prove;
Through sleep and darkness safely brought,
Restored to life, and power, and thought
New mercies, each returning day,
Hover around us while we pray;
New perils past, new sins forgiven,
New thoughts of God, new hopes of heaven.
AN EVENING PRAYER
Thou whose nature cannot sleep,
on my temples sentry keep;
Guard me 'gainst those watchful foes,
Whose eyes are open while mine close.
Let no dream my head infest,
But such as Jacob's temples blest.
While I do rest, my soul advance,
Make my sleep a holy trance.
That I may, my rest being wrought,
Awake into some holy thought.
RECONCILIATION ACTIVITY
At a recent meeting with Linley Walker and Ty Parsons of the Rumbalara Centre I expressed enthusiasm for a tour of Aboriginal sites and activities in our area. I certainly, and probably most of us, are very ignorant of such things. On May 25th, from 11.00am to 3.00pm, such a tour is being organised, the itinerary possibly to include The Flats, Rumbalara, the Koori Court, the Rumbalara Football Club, the Community Development Employment Project, the Keeping Place, the Koori Resource and Information Centre, KEY, the Rumbalara/Corio Centre, the First Nation Bank, the Geraldine Briggs Hostel and the Percy Green drug and Rehabilitation Centre. The cost of the tour has yet to be deter-mined, but will include lunch. If you are interes-ted put your name on the list in the Narthex. I hope for a big turn out from St Augustine's
HOME COMMUNION
Please advise the office of any person you know who might like to receive Home Communion on a temporary or permanent basis. Obviously they need give their consent before we can turn up.
THANK YOU
My sincere thanks to Father Andrew and our church family for their prayers "Get Well" cards and flowers and for those who visited me in hospital and at my Son's home when I was recovering. Yours visits were much appreciated". Reta Esam.
EVENING GUILD
GARAGE SALE /OP SHOP
Preliminary notice June 18th and 19th
Please start collecting and looking out for those unwanted bits and pieces - we'll be glad of them.
DIOCESAN RETREATS
The Diocesan Lay Retreats this year take place from Friday the 30th April to Sunday 2nd May, and from Sunday 2nd May to Tuesday 4th May The Conductor is Fr Phillip Thirlwell, who as most of us know is a very good fellow! Cost $100. Further details and registration forms are in the Narthex.
CONGRATULATIONS
Congratulations to Bev Condon, who celebrates her birthday on Wednesday the 24th and to Andrea Fisher for Thursday the 25th.
CHOIR
The choir at the 8.30am service is making some lovely sounds and it is a joy to have a choir as part of our worship once more. We do need more recruits though. So if you know of anyone with a decent voice and who enjoys singing, either use your own powers of persuasion on them, or tip me off so that I can have a go. Church choir singing is the most satisfying of all, not least because there is a performance every week and primarily to the honour of almighty God and not the fickle public. The Anglican repertoire is also a distinctive and particularly rich seam of Christendom's musical quarry! What is more, we enjoy ourselves.
SERVERS' PRACTICE
There is a Servers' Practice on Saturday April 3rd at 10.00am. Please do try to be present. New Servers are always welcome.
MOTHERING SUNDAY
Today is both Mothering Sunday also known as Refreshment Sunday. It marks the halfway point of the Lenten season. Mothering Sunday is marked by the giving of a posy of flowers to all mothers attending church, many thanks to those who remembered to provide us with flowers and to the Flower Guild who put the posies together. Refreshment Sunday is marked by the distribution of Simnel Cake, many thanks to the Guilds Ladies who supply these. Another highlight of today is a Bring and Share Lunch at which Suzie Don Leonard will be speaking. We welcome her to St Augustine's and I hope as many folk as possible will be able to attend the lunch to hear her.
PLANTS PLEASE
If anyone has an excess of agapanthus, we would love some for the Rectory garden, also any other plants that grow well in the shade of trees.
LADY DAY
Lots and lots and lots of sweet or savoury pies for the Pie Stall at Wangaratta on Thursday please as well as sausage rolls. Pasties, savoury rolls, quiches, zucchini slices, egg and bacon pies, savoury scones, savoury toast, sweet slices, muffins, strudel or your own speciality. Please return raffle books to the sidesmen at 8.30 on Sunday or to Nola at 10.30. Thank you.
DUTIES FOR 21st March 2004
Readers 8.30 Pat Griffin, Carole Henderson
Readers 10.30 Lionel Waterson, Joan McCann
Servers 8,30 Beth, Kate, James
Servers 10.30 Jenny Waite
Euch. Assists 8.30 Bev. Condon, Heather Fitzgerald
Euch. Assists 10.30 Christine Evans, Carole Henderson
Intercessors Carole Henderson, Jenny Pleming
Welcoming 8.30 Bev Reither, Joyce Cavill
Welcomers 10.30 Christine Jones, Sandra Simonis
Sidespeople 8.30 Bob Galt, Joe Pearson
Sidespeople 10.30 Charlotte Brewer, Nola Brewer
Tea 8.30 Anita Saville
Mowing Norm Mitchelmore, Lawrie Tinning
DUTIES FOR 28th March 2004
Readers 8.30 Heather Fitzgerald, Victoria Heenan
Readers 10.30 Peter Martin, Lionel Waterson
Servers 8,30 Michelle, Stephen, Debbie
Servers 10.30 Jenny Pleming, Joan McCann, Zebedee
Euch. Assists 8.30 John Griffin, Carole Henderson
Euch. Assists 10.30 Bev Condon, Maureen Cormican
Intercessors Bev Condon,Nancy Noonan
Welcoming 8.30 Cecily McDonald, Shirley Dean
Welcomers 10.30 John Pleming, Jennifer Pleming
Sidespeople 8.30 Merv. Cowland, Gwen Cowland
Sidespeople 10.30 Alan Akers, Adrian Evans
Tea 8.30 Heather Pearson
Mowing Lionel Waterson, Adrian Evans
FOR PRAYER
Liam Bognar, Barbara Brown, Helen Bruinier, Loris Buntine, Ashely Close, Michael Condon, Adie Edwards, Neil Feldthman,Richard Goodfellow, Iris Grant,Kevin & Ellen Green, Ron Hall, the Harrison Family, Jean Hastie, Cynthia Hossack & family, Fr Wayne Ireland, Isobel Kerr, Betty Mercer, Joyce Maloney,Ann Mills, Andrew Muirhead, Gabby Palvia,Richard Pearson,John Perry Ray Prosser, Dennis Reed, Margaret Robinson, Gwen & Bob Scott, Roger Saville,Shirley & family, Peter & Eva Swindells, Anne Tacey, May Wallace, Brian Ward, Malcolm Waterson, Alyssa, Craig, Darren, Elizabeth, Faith, Gary, Glenda, John, Keith, Mary, Michael, Midge,Rohan
Rest in peace
Jack Still
Anniversary of Death
Sydney Doney, Noel Batey 21st, Alan Wilkie 23rd, Jean Varvaressos 24th, Carl Classen, Donald Oliver 26th.
IMPORTANT DATES
Mar 25th Lady Day - Wangaratta
Mar 28th Baptisms
April 11th Easter Day
April 17th Wedding 3.00pm
April 24th Wedding 2.30pm
May 5th Parish Council at Dookie
May 8th Wedding 1.30pm
May 18th - 21st Annual Priests' Retreat
May 22nd Wedding 2.30pm
May 25th Reconciliation Activity
May 26th St Augustine's Patronal Festival
Jun 5th Ugandan Martyrs - Breakfast
Jun 6th Mass for Africa
Jun 12th Wedding 2.00pm
Sept 17-18 Synod
Oct 3rd St Francistide Pet Blessing
Oct 16th Wedding 3.00pm
Oct 23rd Wedding 3.00pm
Nov 6th Wedding 3.30pm
Nov 13th Wedding 2.30pm
Nov 13th Parish Fair
Nov 27th Wedding 1.30pm
Dec 18th Wedding 1.30pm
THIS WEEK
Monday March 22nd
Fr Andrew's Day off
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
5.30pm Evening Prayer
Tuesday March 23rd
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
10.00am Playgroup - Hall
2.00pm Lenten Study group
5.30pm Evening Prayer
Wednesday March 24th
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
10.00am Eucharist - St Augustine's
11.00am Banksia Lodge
1.30pm Hakea Lodge
6.15pm Eucharist/followed by a meal of soup & bread
7.25pm Lenten Study Group
Thursday March 25th Lady Day
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
9.30am Bishop in Council Meeting - Wangaratta
5.30pm Evening Prayer
7.30pm Choir Practice
Friday March 26th
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
5.30pm Evening Prayer
Saturday March 27th
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
5.30pm Evening Prayer
Sunday March 28th
8.00am Mattins - Lady Chapel
8.30am Sung Eucharist - St Augustine's
9.00am Eucharist - St Luke's Dookie
10.30am Eucharist - St Augustine's
10.45am Katandra/Dookie Family Service
5.30pm Evening Prayer