NINTH SUNDAY AFTER EPIPHANY
6th March 2011
Graphics and cartoons & liturgical material appear only in the printed version
THE WORST JOKE EVER
One day, God said to Noah. "Noah I want you to build another Ark." What? Like the last one?" asked Noah. "Yes" replied God, "Except this time, I want it to have 14 decks." "And shall I lead all the animals into it, two by two, like last time?"asked Noah. "No, this time I only want you to lead fish into it." Noah was a little puzzled. "Just fish?" he asked. "Yes" said God. "In fact, just carp." Just carp? Why carp?" Noah quizzed. "Well", said God, "I've always wanted a multi-storey carp Ark."
RETURNING TO ZIMBABWE (14)
Andrew Neaum
This is the fourteenth episode of an account of the recent trip to Zimbabwe and Lesotho made by Diana and myself last October. The previous episodes can be found:
http://www.andrewneaum.com/articles.htm
We left Guinea Fowl School to make our way to Gweru, a short journey of about ten miles. It is a journey that I made by bus every school day for the two years during which I did my A levels. In the Gweru district we Guinea Fowl School sixth form students were required to combine with the students of other schools, those of us who opted for the "Arts" went to Chaplin and those who did "Sciences" to Thornhill, both these schools being in Gweru itself.
Gweru
There were only three of us in my year who went to Chaplin from Guinea Fowl. Chaplin was coeducational and so there was an added and exciting new dimension to our schoolboy lives there, it was also our greatest rival at rugby, and so we swaggered and strutted around, distinctive in our blue and grey uniforms among a mass of khaki and green.
Gweru is the third largest city in Zimbabwe and capital of the Midlands Province. It is situated on the highveld at more or less the same altitude as Harare and so is relatively cool and healthy. It always seemed to me to be an uninteresting and unremarkable town, though in my school days crisp, clean and well maintained. On this visit it was dusty, littered and ill-maintained. There was no temptation to linger, and I didn't even bother to search out Chaplin School to see if the school library was still standing, in the which I chatted up, with some success, my first serious girl friend.
We were happy to leave the city, finding our way to the road that took us back east through Bvumu and Chivhu with little difficulty. Once clear of the town we stopped for a less than memorable lunch in a less than memorable spot as a few great and dusty rain drops fell on the windscreen, herald of a rainy season still reluctant to begin.
Denise's Kitchen
We had been informed that the only accommodation in or around Chivhu worth trying would be "Denise's Kitchen", a few miles south of the little town. We found the turn off through an impressive gateway and then, but a short way from the road, encountered a rather pleasing looking cluster of thatched lodges and fine looking barbecue facilities set in a compound of well mown lawn behind a high fence with peacocks strutting around. The main building was impressively thatched all the way to the ground with spaces cut for windows. Although very pleasing to the eye the buildings were nonetheless not exactly in mint condition, the thatch appearing here and there to be in need of repair or replacement. We discovered, once signed in, that this reflected the state of the place generally, it had peaked, was past its best and in decline, though we enjoyed our night's stopover there and the staff, entirely African, were thoroughly delightful and accommodating.
We selected our lodge, had a look at the menu, decided against it in favour of a good breakfast in the morning, and settled instead for a cup of tea to civilise the odd assortment of travelling food we had brought with us in the car. We ate and drank on the little verandah enjoying a perfect African sunset, a welcome cool breeze and the antics of the peacocks, peahens and two guineafowl. The door of our lodge had fallen on its hinges and was difficult to open, the fine, large bathroom and shower facilities were falling into early signs of decay, revealed most clearly in the toilet which only barely worked. In the morning I stood on the cable to the television with a bare foot and got the thrill of my life because the wire was bare and the current set my leg all a tingle. We left a note warning any future visitors of the danger and informed the management, though to what effect I know not. We slept well and long while pretending to watch a less than absorbing film on the single channel available on the television set. The lodge had no ceiling, as is usually the case in such buildings, instead we looked up to black rafters and neat thatch, the rafters studded with the little white blankets that the local spiders spin over their egg clusters. The cricket-trilled night was periodically shredded by eldritch shrieks from the peacocks, one of which was an albino and so splendidly ghostly looking in the dark.
In the morning we made our way across to the main lodge for a breakfast that was so ordinary we were glad we had not risked the dinner. Overdone steak, overdone egg, boerwors sausage, no marmalade, but all served with a naive charm that dispelled any desire to complain.
Punctured
We left straight after breakfast with me burping faintly over the boerwors sausage, Diana had generously handed her great gristly link over to me, so my burps were excusable. Our destination was Troutbeck in the Eastern Highlands where Don and Biddy Railton had kindly treated us to four days in their time-share house overlooking the lovely Mare Dam. Our route was across the seemingly infrequently traversed road to Inyazura, then back to Rusape and up to Inyanga. The road was tarred all the way, though initially this was only a narrow, nine foot strip with eroded edges to test the car's suspension whenever the offside tires had to leave the tar to allow oncoming cars to pass. One pothole in particular shivered our timbers and rattled our teeth. After a while however the road widened and the going was good. There were no tolls either, presumably because traffic was too thin to allow it to be profitable. The further east we travelled the more interesting became the scenery, great rock kopjes almost achieving the status of mountains. Most of the land appeared to be tribal trust land and there were plenty of stray cattle and goats to watch out for. As usual there was lots of smoke haze and burnt land. Not too far from Inyazura we hit a boulder on the road with a great bang and a little while later realised that we were punctured. In hot sunshine we were relieved to discover that the spare wheel was in good condition and so changed wheels efficiently and effectively, finding that the punctured tyre was irreparably gashed and the wheel rim dented.
Stocking up in Rusape
We drove the remaining seventy or so miles to Rusape with extra care. There, with a bit of negotiating, we managed to buy and have fitted a new tire for $85 American, We also realised that we needed more cash, and so for the first time in Zimbabwe decided to attempt to access some. We visited Barclays Bank, secure behind its bright blue iron fence and with an armed guard in attendance. We approached its ATM with trepidation, the pessimist in me already decided that in so remote a part of a ramshackle nation any cash I might possess would be unutterably beyond reach or call. Modern technology punched my pessimist self in the face, presenting me promptly with a pleasing little wad of American dollars and also informing me in pounds sterling exactly how much money was left in my English account.
We needed to stock up with food for our four days in the time-share house at Troutbeck and so wandered about looking for a decent supermarket. We settled on the OK Bazaars which was not at all a rewarding experience, poorly stocked in both quality and variety. We decided that meat would not travel and it looked unappetising anyway, so we stocked up with basic stuff, soya mince (ugh), bread, spaghetti, eggs, baked beans, marge, drinking chocolate, garlic, dried milk, biscuits, carrots, kale and fruit juice. This was not the stuff that luxury holidays are made of! We also visited a street market where we bought two splendid avocados, each of them the size of Einstein's head, some bananas and tomatoes.
Troutbeck
We then headed up to Inyanga and Troutbeck. The road was among the best remembered of all those revisited on this 2010 trip because Inyanga and Troutbeck had been frequent holiday destinations for the Neaum family throughout their many years in Rhodesia and Zimbabwe. It is a lovely and scenic drive and towards the end as the altitude increases, the great Msasa trees give way to miniatures of themselves, hardly six feet in height. We arrived at Troutbeck in daylight and were delighted with the house we had been given the use of. (To be continued)
LENT
Lent begins this Wednesday. Don't slip into it with a yawn and no action. Be extravagant and over the top! A few ideas:
1 Attend a week day Eucharist or two.
2 Get up fifteen minutes earlier than usual each day to do a bit of real praying.
3 Give up something good that will hurt a little and sharpen your appreciation of and gratitude for it.
4 Try tithing your income if you don't already do so, to discover how exhilarating it is to be so markedly different from the money-mad world at large.
5 Ask your clergy for a good Lenten book to read, or ransack the parish library.
6 Determine to make a friend of an enemy and resolutely refuse to take offence.
7 Go to church on Sundays fifteen minutes early to prepare yourself more adequately for the Sacrament.
8 Take a gentle jog or walk each day (it is good for you!) and try saying your prayers as you jog or walk.
9 Attend one, two or three of the parish study groups.
10 Join the choir, the servers, Gardening Group, Guild or Friendship Group, nominate for Parish Council.
11 Give up booze except on Sundays or be vegetarian except on Sundays. Or both.
12 Adopt a third world orphan or needy child.
CONGRATULATIONS
Birthdays:
Heather Nichols 7th March
Isaac Chandler 10th March
Heather Camm 11th March
ASH WEDNESDAY SERVICES
Shrove Tuesday
5.30pm Evening Prayer
6.00pm Pancake Party
Ash Wednesday
8.00am Mattins & Eucharist etc - Lady Chapel
10.00am Eucharist with Ashes Imposition
6.30pm Eucharist with Ashes Imposition
7.30pm Annual General Meeting
PARISH FAIR AND GARDEN PARTY:
A recommendation to change the date of the Parish Fair, to avoid the period when the Parish Hall is occupied for V.C.E. examinations will be put forward at Wednesday's A.G.M. A report on this change will be presented at the meeting. See the current edition of OUTREACH for this comprehensive report on the proposed change.
A.G.M. REPORTS AVAILABLE
The reports for the A.G.M. that have been submitted, plus the minutes of last year's meeting and the agenda are available as a booklet in the narthex. Please help yourself to a copy.
NOMINATIONS
We need more nominations for Parish Council, Synod Representatives and Parochial Nominators please. Do play your part in the life and work of your parish church.
GUEST PREACHERS
We have a guest preacher today, at both services, the Rev. Dr. John Pryor. He will also be promoting two books he has written, most worthy of promotion too.
Next week the Rector will be away but leaves behind such talent that most folk will endeavour to be at both the 8.30am and 10.30am services, I am sure. There are two guest preachers. At 8.30am the Rev. Dr. Lauren Artress from Grace Cathedral in New York and at 10.30 Children's Church the Rev John Southerden.
LABYRINTH EVENTS SHEPPARTON 11th – 13th March 2011
This week the Rev Dr Lauren Artress from Grace Cathedral in New York will be in Shepparton to open the new labyrinth at the Rural Health Academic Centre, University of Melbourne (invited guests only), to run labyrinth workshops (Friday 4pm and Saturday 3pm) and deliver lectures on the labyrinth (Friday 8.30pm and Sat 7.30pm). She will also preach at St Augustine's at the 8.30am service on Sunday. If you would like to attend a walk or the lectures, you need to register, although there is no charge. The following link will give you information about the activities:
http://www.ruralhealth.unimelb.edu.au/pdf/Labyrinth%20Events%20-%20Opening%202011.pdf and booking/registration can be done on-line at
http://www.trybooking.com/Booking/Booking EventSummary.aspx?eid=7281
GRIEF SUPPORT
At Tuesday's meeting in the Narthex at 7.30pm we will be reading a chapter from "Praying our Goodbyes" and discussing it. Do come along.
EDUCATION FOR MINISTRY
Mentor training 31st Mar – 2nd Apr 2011
Training to become an EfM mentor will be held in Shepparton at St Augustine's on the above dates. If you are interested in doing the training, please talk to Helen. We may also be looking for beds to accommodate visitors from other areas attending the training. If you would be able to offer accommodation for the nights of Thursday, Friday and Saturday, please let Helen know.
WORSHIP WITH A DIFFERENCE
Today Sunday, the 6th March at 4.30pm in the Narthex there is a non-Eucharistic, relaxed, interactive little service for those who would like a change of worship style. It could be of interest to those who are not confirmed, or to those who would like to discuss as well as listen and to sing more modern songs.... Give it a try.
SAVE THE CHILDREN FUND COFFEE MORNING
Kialla Gardens Activities Centre, Wednesday 23rd March at 10.00am Entrance fee $6. Guest Speaker: State Manage of Save the Children Victoria.
LADY DAY SERVICE -WANGARATTA
Wed. 23rd March at the Cathedral. 10.15 morning tea,11.00am Eucharist, 12.30 lunch (cost $10.00) catered for by ABM ladies. The Guest speaker Fr. Kim Benton topic "Missionary Work in Burma". Please give your names to Heather by the 16th March
EVENING GUILD AGM
The Evening Guild Annual Meeting is on March 17th at 1.30pm. On Thursday 10th March at 1.30pm the Evening Guild are hosting a Fashion Parade with clothes being presented by Kays Classic. Admission is $5 which includes Devonshire Tea. All welcome
LENT: LIVING NOW AND THEN
The 2011 Lenten Studies are prepared by Charles Sherlock from Trinity College Melbourne. There is a list for names in the Narthex. The Revd Gail Bryce will be leading one on Mondays at 1.30pm. (Starting 14th March) Canon Andrew will be leading one on Tuesdays at 7.30pm, preceded by a Eucharist at 7.00pm. (Starting 15th March)
OUTREACH
Please collect your outreach from the Narthex table plus any others that you may be able to deliver to save us the cost of the postage.
DATES FOR THE DIARY
Mar 10th Evening Guild Fashion Parade 1.30pm
Mar 13th Lauren Artress preach (Labyrinth doyenne)
Mar 15th Friendship Group 2pm
Mar 16th Vestry 2pm
Mar 17th Evening Guild 1.30pm
Mar 20th St. Luke's A.G.M
Apr 3rd St. Mary's A.G.M.
Apr 9th Wedding
Apr 17th Old Fashioned Easter Picnic
May 15th Hospice Service 2.00pm
May 22nd Patronal Festival
June 3rd Synod
June 4th Synod
July 17th Bishop's Visit
Oct 23rd Confirmation
READINGS for 13th March
Genesis 2:15-17,3:1-7; Romans 5:12-21
REQUESTS FOR PRAYER
At the beginning of each month this list is cleared and ALL names need putting down again on the list in the narthex and signed in. No names should be listed without a person's permission. The list for names of those to be prayed for is kept in the top drawer of the little plastic box of drawers on the narthex table.
Nicole Ackland, Alan Akers, Lorraine Ashbury, Deb Bagley, Jan Black, Liam Bognar, Ian Carman, Tom Downie, Michael Green, Frank Harder, Margaret Hoare, John Horder, Jack Halsall, Dot Hunter, Margaret Kidman, Lynn Morcam,Albert Oxenbury, Isabelle Richards, Peter Swindells, Patricia Sparkes, Shirley Young, David, David & Judith, Stewart, John, Pat, Harry.
Anniversary of death:
Norman Grills, Joy Merigan, Gregory Cresswell, Frederick Stephens, Ian Watts 7th, Lawrence Brewer, William Fallis 8th, Jean Poulton, Margaret Killop 9th, Willis Mitchelmore, Christine Warburton, Cheryl McKellar 11th,Clare Tomlinson, Grace Mead 12th.
Duties for 6th March 2011
Readers 8.30 Gwyn Cowland, Heather Fitzgerald
Readers 10.30 Nancy Noonan, Andrea Fisher
Servers 8.30 Michelle, Beth
Servers 10.30 Zebedee, Greg, Joan
Intercessors Norm Weaver, Greg Pestell
Euc. Assts 8.30 Carole Henderson, Ian Bryce
Euc. Assts 10.30 Jenny Pleming, Joe Fernandez
Welcoming 8.30 Bev Reither, Beryl Goodfellow
Welcomers 10.30 Charlotte Brewer, Volunteer
Sidespeople 8.30 Bev Ralph, Max Ralph
Sidespeople 10.30 Nola Brewer, Volunteer
Welcome Table Margaret
Altar Linen for March Ella Egan
Tea 8.30 Gwyn Cowland
Mowing None this week
Duties for 13th March 2011
Readers 8.30 Liz Gyles, Bev Condon
Readers 10.30 Joan McCann, Samantha Conway
Servers 8.30 Beth, Michelle
Servers 10.30 Greg, Eve, Grace
Intercessors Celebrant, Children
Euc. Assts 8.30 John Griffin, Carole Henderson
Euc. Assts 10.30 Christine Evans, Joe Fernandez
Welcoming 8.30 Bev Ralph, Heather Nichols
Welcomers 10.30 Nola Brewer, volunteer please
Sidespeople 8.30 Trevor Batey, Joy Campbell
Sidespeople 10.30 John Pleming, Alan Akers
Welcome Table Bev
Tea 8.30 Bev Reither
Altar Linen for March Ella Egan
Mowing 12th March John Pleming, John Wellman
THIS WEEK IN THE PARISH
Monday 7th March
Rector's day off,
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
Tuesday 8th March
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
10.00am Playgroup - Roz's Room
11.00am Shepparton Aged Care- Anne Russell
6.00pm Pancake party
7.30pm "Moving On" Grief Support Group
Ash Wednesday 9th March
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
10.00am Eucharist - St Augustine's
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
11.00am Banksia- World Day of Prayer
6.30pm Eucharist
7.30pm St. Augustine's AGM
Thursday 10th March
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
11.00am Eucharist - Harmony
1.30pm Evening Guild - Fashion Parade
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
5.30pm Choir Practice
Friday 11th March
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
11.00am Eucharist - Ave Maria
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
5.30pm Inter Faith Meeting
Saturday 12th March
Associate Priest's Day off
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
11.30am Macedonian Baptism
6.00pm Vigil Eucharist
1st Sunday in Lent 13th March
8.30am Sung Eucharist - St Augustine's
10.30am Eucharist - St Augustine's -Kids Church
8.45am Eucharist - Dookie
10.45am Eucharist- Katandra
5.30pm Evening Prayer