NINETEENTH SUNDAY AFTER PENTECOST
23rd October 2011
Graphics and cartoons & liturgical material appear only in the printed version
NO NEED TO PAY
The bartender asked a man sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?" He answered "A scotch, please." The bartender handed him one, and said "That'll be five dollars," to which the man replied, "What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this." A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then said to the bartender, "You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration." The bartender was not impressed, but said to the man, "Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don' ever let me catch you in here again." The next day, same man walked into the bar. The bartender said, "What the blazes are you doing in here? I can't believe you've had the audacity to come back!" The man said, "What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life!" The bartender replied, "I'm very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double." To which the man replied, "Thank you. Make it a scotch."
THIS, THAT
AND THE OTHER (19)
Andrew Neaum
It is unfortunate to have a Clergy Conference during the week before a parish Fete and parish Confirmation, with our amiable Parish Secretary away too. It means I have had to pack two weeks into one.
Not all drudgery and deadlines
It also supports my contention that it is deadlines that make the world go round. Things simply had to be done, and so they were. I made a list of all of them and as far as I can judge they have been accomplished. The worst thing of all, I think, is translating orders of service into "Power Point" in order for them to be screened at the 10.30 service. Tedious indeed, made bearable only by the lively, optimistic music of Boccherini.
Nonetheless, during the past week it wasn't all drudgery and deadlines. We prepared garden beds and planted capsicum, aubergine and butternut squash. We had a delicious ratatouille on the banks of one of our irrigation channels and popped in to see John Horder on his farm, and Peter Ross Edwards in Tatura. We biked to Mooroopna on a beautiful afternoon to visit the hospitable Plemings and admire their garden, especially its avocado tree. We learned a little bit about downloading BBC programs from the internet from my son Peter, so as to be able to allow the first of a series on Islam to be watched by the group that meets each week at the Rectory. We released most of our tadpoles who were beginning to fling themselves suicidally onto the kitchen bench. We repaired the gauze on our bedroom window and explored the most interesting shop in Shepparton, the newly expanded Sikh grocery store on the corner of George Road and Hayes Street where we bought some potent pickles, samosas, a small sack of rice and a big bag of Aloo Bhujia (spicy potato noodles). Although as early as 5.30 in the morning as I tap away at this little column, I munch and crunch my way through a couple of handfuls of the last mentioned item. Delicious. We have also embarked on the long process of turning Joyce Aldrige's lemons in to a spicy lemon pickle. The Indian recipe uses no oil, but requires us to slow cook them for two whole months by placing the jar of pickling lemon pieces out in the sun! Our garden is shady, and so the jar has to be moved from sunny spot to sunny spot during each day.
A face like a warming pan
I have also read this morning the review of a scholarly biography of Ben Jonson the 17th century poet, playright, critic and much more. It is a book I intend purchasing once it has been kindled. It describes the man thus: Jonson was a bruiser, intellectually and physically. He was poet, soldier and brickie. That was when poets were hard. He once walked to Edinburgh and back for a bet. He put his own shoulder to the wheel when scenery needed rotating for his masques. Towards the end of his life he weighed 20 stone. Ugly bugger, too; he was described by his sometime associate Thomas Dekker as ‘a staring Leviathan' with ‘a terrible mouth' and ‘a parboiled face ... punched full of oilet holes, like the cover of a warming pan....'.
An irresistible book surely, one with the space too to list the items on the menu that was rustled up by the Merchant Taylors' Company to welcome Prince Henry into their ranks in the summer of 1607...Swans, godwit, shovellers, partridges, owls, cuckoos, ringdoves, pullets, ducklings, teal, peacocks, rabbits, leverets and a great turkey... along with 1,300 eggs, three great lobsters and 200 prawns, salmon, salt fish, plaice, sole, dory, carp and tenches, sirloins and ribs of beef, mutton and lambs' dowsets, neats' tongues and sweet breads, and to conclude the evening, figs, dates, prunes, currants, almonds, strawberries, gooseberries, cherries, pears, apples, damsons, oranges and quinces. Twenty-eight barrels of beer were provided to slake the diners' thirst, together with more than 440 gallons of wine.
What a wonderful thing it is to leave the contemporary world (just as full of interesting folk if only one knows where to look) in order to lose yourself in that mad, bad, religiously tumultuous, fascinating seventeenth century! If anyone is interested the book is Masques of Beauty and Blackness by Ian Donaldson: OUP, 533pp.
Homilies at weddings no more.
Almost invariably I enjoy my time with couples who come to be married in church. Few if any of them these days are church attenders and their appreciation of anything other than the building and its gardens is minimal, if not non-existent, but for the most part they are delightful and provide me with one of the few opportunities to engage with young people other than members of my family.
I no longer give a well wrought homily at weddings. The wedding guests at most ceremonies I perform are unlikely to understand them, let alone appreciate them. Instead I attempt to impart a gem of wisdom or profundity in my opening remarks, lightened with a little humour and then we get on with the business in hand.
There are exceptions. I whipped up a homily for my daughter's wedding. She understands me alright, too well in fact. Had I said anything unacceptable there would have been a loud bridal raspberry blown my way!
I composed one too for a friend whose marriage I performed in the Western Districts some time ago. He and his wife are keen Scottish Country Dancers and he had been part of a group who danced weekly at St John's Wodonga when I was Rector there. The homily (names changed) went as follows:
Orangutans and violins
The majority of husbands, said the French novelist Balzac, remind you of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
How true that is, how devastatingly true. We have all witnessed it over and over again, have we not? It makes us want to weep.
Women, like violins, are subtle, delicate and mysterious creatures, of infinite tonal possibilities, moods and character; sonorous, dark, rich, devious, ambiguous, deep, mother-earthy; silvery pure, ethereal, light, glittering, graceful; humorous, quirky, bouncy, buoyant.
They require the sensitivity, understanding, imagination, empathy and dazzling technique of a virtuoso, to sing the melodies they have it in them to sing.
Yet all they get, usually, is an unmusical, fumbling, philistine of an orangutan.
Jacqueline Russells and bagpipes
The majority of wives, though, remind you of a Jack Russell, trying to play the bagpipes. Darting, yapping, whining, nagging, attempting to draw a sweet melody from a lazy, uncomplicated bag of wind, from a great bladder of blah. When all it is capable of is a droning, burping, squawking, belching, cacophonous caterwaul.
Ah well! That is marriage. Attempting the impossible. A sweet duet on a violin and bagpipes, played by an orangutan and a Jacqueline Russel. Hopeless. Why do we bother with it?
Because it can work has worked, does work, and not infrequently. The impossible, like God, is worth reaching for, aspiring to.
Bach and the Tudelsack
My very favourite composer is Johann Sebastian Bach. He, in his sonatas and partitas for unaccompanied violin, has worked greater miracles on a violin than any composer on earth,
And although it is inconceivable that such a genius should stoop so low as even to notice, let alone write for the bagpipes, we nonetheless find in the very final chorus of his charming Peasant Cantata, which is all about a bucolic wedding ceremony, that the bagpipe and the violin do converge, after a fashion.
The violin plays its sprightly melody to the words:
Wir gehn nun, wo der Tudelsack
der Tudel, Tudel, Tudel, Tudel, Tudel, Tudel sack......
In unsrer Shenke brummt........
And the word Tudelsack, as I am sure you all know, is German for bagpipes. The im-possible has been achieved. The bagpipes and the violin have come together in sweet harmony to celebrate a marriage in the music of the greatest of all the world's composers! Nothing is impossible! Not even a happy marriage.
The marriage miracle
The musical miracle is pulled off by the genius of Bach, but what of the happy marriage miracle, what is it that makes possibly possible such an impossibility?
It is the vow, the devastating vow, which, if profoundly meant, and therefore resolutely kept, binds Peter and Rosemary together, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death.
The groom today, Peter gives as his wedding present to his bride, Rosemary, the assurance that he will never ever, ever reject or turn his back on her, will never, ever in any circumstance whatsoever, abandon her.
She is freed to be herself then. She doesn't have to pretend to be other than who she is in case she loses him, or in fear of him abandoning her. She can play the melody that she has it in her to play, she can be the melody that she has it in her to be. She can find herself in his steadfast, uncompromising love, secure, in complete trust, that he will never abandon her, ever.
She is given love's freedom to be herself, and vice versa. This is also Rosemary's gift to Peter.
The wedding present of wedding presents this, far more precious than anything money can buy. It make possibly possible the impossible. An Organutang and yet a Paganini. A Tudelsack so melifluously euphonius as to blend with a violin. A man and a woman one flesh.
It is no wonder that in Bach's little cantata they sing at the end of it all:
We're going to the tavern
where the merry bagpipe drones
and shout full of glee
Long live Dieskau (or Peter, or Rosemary) and their kin,
May they be granted whatever they desire
and whatever they have set their heart on.
Grace at the Reception
At the Reception that followed the wedding I gave them a grace composed for the occasion as follows, Rosemary, as well as being a dancer, is also a church choir chorister:
We thank you Lord for song and dance
Both of which can spark romance
That kindles into wedded bliss
And so to happy days like this.
With Rosemary espoused as wife
Peter's hobby's made his life,
For love his life has so enhanced
His every step from now is danced.
While Rosemary as Peter's wife
Has had her hobby made her life
With Peter's love declared life long
Her every syllable's a song.
Lord, let your music of the spheres
Inspire their marriage down the years,
And every step of their romance
Adumbrate the cosmic dance.
If you'll excuse my French, "un peu",
Grant them a heavenly "pas des deux",
And may a deep harmonious chord
Best symbolise their sweet accord,
And now let wit and mirth resound
And copious food and drink abound
Fuelling joy beyond all measure,
And happiness, delight and pleasure.
Amen.
CONGRATULATIONS
Birthdays
Zachary Liley 26th Oct
Yvonne McIntosh 28th Oct
Lorraine Armstrong 28th Oct
Shirley Dean 29th Oct
John Griffin 29th Oct
CONGRATULATIONS (2)
I've just had a call from a very excited Justin Way to say that Jacqui had just given birth to a beautiful healthy Isobel Kate. Congratulations to all the family and we look forward to having a cuddle of Isobel. HC
CONFIRMATION
Welcome to our Bishop at the 10.30am Service for the Confirmation. Welcome too to the friends and relatives of our Candidates. Do please stay on afterwards for cake and a cup of tea or coffee and pray for candidates:- Brayden Coates, Jack Lear, Oscar Lear, Olivia Lear, Tessa Cummins, Mitch Macheda.
CHRISTIANITY AND ISLAM STUDY
The fifth session takes place in the Rectory this Tuesday at 7.30pm.
PARISH FAIR and GARDEN PARTY
Being away from Tuesday to Friday after-noon last week, I put this pew sheet to bed long before the Parish Fair became a reality. I can however anticipate its success as I write this on Monday morning. This is not wishful thinking, the astonishing hard work and devotion to duty of not a few, as well as the widespread general support of the whole parish is almost guaranteed to ensure success.
The seven day weather forecast is less than entirely reassuring as looked at on this Monday morning, but long term forecasts are notoriously unreliable. Anyway, we have proved that we can cope with bad weather, even if the worst does ensue.
Many thanks to all those who have contributed in any way to this great parish occasion. Behind the laden stalls lies lots and lots of work and planning.
It would be wrong to single individuals out to praise, but a special thank you must go to Pat Gibson. Again this year she has minimised any work, worry or decision-making that has come my way down to pretty well zero. She is a very bright star indeed, imaginative, fearless and marvellously positive. She deserves a pampered week in Bermuda, but sadly is unlikely to get it.
5th SUNDAY LUNCH: 30th OCTOBER
The Combined Fifth Sunday of the Month Service at Murchison & Rushworth today will be followed by lunch at Robert & Heather Smith's Home, Browns Road, Moorilim. If you haven't booked I supect your are done for, but you can give it a try if you like! Ring Anne 58262422 or 58262264. The cost is $20.
EDUCATION FOR MINISTRY
Recruitment: Our EfM group this year has been at capacity and are excited at the prospect of being able to run two groups next year, possibly one based in Murchison. You need no formal theological training, just an interest in reflecting on what is happening in your life and where this connects with the Gospel. It is facilitating, in a supportive, fun environment, your ability to know God better as He acts in your life & through the ministry you are already doing. For more information, ask Helen or any of the current group.
SHEPPARTON CHARITY CARD & GIFT SHOP
Scot's Church Hall, Cnr. Fryers & Corio St.
October 10th- December 16th
Opening Hours:-
October: 10.00am - 4pm Mon to Fri. only
Nov & Dec: 9.30am - 4.30pm Mon - Fri
9.30am - 12 noon on Saturdays
LAUNCHING THE NEW ADVOCATE
If you would like to attend the launch of the revamped diocesan paper, The Advocate, on Thursday 27th October, at Bishop's Lodge in Wangaratta (2 Cusack Street), please RSVP before the 25th October to: Fiona Van Bree 5721 3484
(registry@wangaratta-anglican.org.au)
ALL SOULS DAY
All Soul's takes place on Wednesday the 2nd of November. There will be Requiems for our departed at 8.00am and 10.00am on that day. There's a list for the names of those you would like remembered on the Narthex table.
FOR THE DIARY
Oct 29th Wedding 2pm
Oct 29th Garden Working Bee
Oct 30th Combined Eucharist & Luncheon - Murchison
Nov 8th "Moving On" Grief Support Dinner Meeting
Nov 12th Wedding 2pm
Nov 19th Wedding 1pm
Nov 19th Wedding 3pm
Nov 26th Wedding 2pm
Dec 3rd Women's Breakfast
Dec 10th Parish Quiet Day
Dec 10th Men's Breakfast
Dec 10th Wedding
Dec 16th Concert: Sempre Cantare
Dec 18th Carol Concert
Duties for 23rd October 2011
Readers 8.30 Heather Fitzgerald, Liz Gyles
Readers 10.30 Jenny Moran, Linda Prosser
Servers 8.30 Beth Brewer, Michelle Woodyard
Servers 10.30 Greg Pestell, Jenny, Vanita, Valerie
Intercessors Celebrant
Euc. Assts 8.30 Bev Condon, John Griffin
Euc. Assts 10.30 Clergy
Welcomers 8.30 Heather Nichols, Judy Lloyd
Welcomers 10.30 Frank Steen, Sandra Simonis
Sidespeople 8.30 Gwyn & Merv Cowland
Sidespeople 10.30 Charlotte Brewer, Nola Brewer
Tea 8.30 Shirley Dean
Welcoming Table Dorothy Cook
Mowing Merv Cowland, Beryl Bonfitto
Altar Linen/Oct Gwenda Betson
Duties for 30th October 2011
Readers 8.30 Bev Condon, Norm Mitchelmore
Readers 10.30 Andrea Fisher, Joan McCann
Servers 8.30 Beth Brewer, Michelle Woodyard
Servers 10.30 Joan, Jenny, Greg
Intercessors Victoria Heenan, Mary Pearson
Euc. Assts 8.30 Carole Henderson, Heather Fitzgerald
Euc. Assts 10.30 Greg Pestell, Jenny Pleming
Welcomers 8.30 Pat Griffin, Dulcie Ackland
Welcomers 10.30 Nola Brewer, Charlotte Brewer
Sidespeople 8.30 Bev & Max Ralph
Sidespeople 10.30 Mitch Macheda, John Pleming
Tea 8.30 Pat Griffin. Barbara Whyte
Welcoming Table Judy Lloyd
Mowing None this week
Altar Linen/Oct Gwenda Betson
READINGS NEXT WEEK
Joshua 3:7-17, Thessalonians 3:5-13
REQUESTS FOR PRAYER
Nicole Ackland, Margaret Aldous, Alan Akers, Deb Bagley, Liam Bognar, Joy & Ian Carmen, Beth Coombe, Sandy Carpenter, Ross & Helen Dainton, Anna and Heather Fitzgerald, Beryl Goodfellow, Frank Harder, Katherine Holt, John & Kate Horder, Ross Judd, Elsie Lieschke, Judy Lloyd, Bronwyn Mitchell, Olive Paez, Margaret Kidman, Albert Oxenbury, Val Rose, Ethel & George Rumble, Patricia Sparkes, Peter Swindells, Lionel Waterson, David, Peter, David & Judith, Kaye, Keith & Bonny, Suzanne, Ray & Joyce, Pat, Malcolm, Robyn, Lewis.
Rest in Peace: Mervyn Bailey, Nancy Isobel Kendall
Anniversaries: Greg Connor 23rd, Leslie Ramage 24th, Wendy Reid, Tracy Stevens 25th, Laurence Sweet 26th, Edison Condon, Jean Anselmi, Bessie Bourke, Stella Still 27th, Reg Shearer, Lorna Sanderson, Ernest Mustey 28th, Eric Bartlett, Ernest Young, Veronica Volk 29th.
THIS WEEK IN THE PARISH
Monday 24th October
(Rector's day off)
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
Tuesday 25th October
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
10.00am Playgroup/ Roz's Room
11.00am Shepparton Aged Care
7.30pm Islam Study - Rectory
Wednesday 26th October
7.45am Mattins only - Lady Chapel
10.00am Eucharist - St Augustine's
12.00 Ethics Committee - GV Hospital
6.00pm EfM - Roz's Room
Thursday 27th October
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
10.15am Eucharist - Grutzner
11.00am Eucharist - Harmony
11.00am Eucharist - Ave Maria
5.30pm Choir Practice - Rectory
Friday 28th October
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
6.00pm Wedding Rehearsal
Saturday 29th October
(Associate Priest's Day off)
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
9.00am Garden Working Bee
11.00am Orthodox Baptism
2.00pm Wedding
6.00pm Vigil Eucharist - Lady Chapel
Sunday 30th October
8.30am Sung Eucharist - St Augustine's
10.30am Eucharist - St. Augustine's
8.45am Eucharist - St Luke's
Eucharist - Murchison/Rushworth Combined
5.30pm Evening Prayer