THIRD SUNDAY IN ADVENT
16th December 2007
Graphics and cartoons appear only in the printed version
NOT RESPONSIBLE
Hitler was infuriated by anti-Nazi jokes that were popular in Germany as soon as he came to power. He issued an order to the Gestapo: “Find me who is responsible and bring him to me.” A Jewish comedian, Yossel von Goldbloom, was dragged in to the Fuhrer’s presence. Hitler roared: “Did you invent the one about me and the donkey?” “Yes,” admitted Goldbloom. “What about the one about me and the swine?” “Yes, me too,” nodded Goldbloom. “And the one that says the day I die will be a Jewish holiday?” “That too, I am afraid,” confessed Goldbloom.” “You pig of Jew!!” screamed Hitler. “Don’t you realise I am the Fuhrer of the Third Reich - a great empire that will last a thousand years?” “Ha! Ha!” shrieked Goldbloom, falling all over the place, “that’s wonderful. But you can’t blame me for that one - I never heard it before.
THE SHEPPARTON NEWS
I enjoyed the return of the outrageous Vicar of Dibley on the ABC enormously. We need to be able to laugh at our Church and indeed our Faith. It is evidence of maturity and a healthy absence of fanaticism.
Someone complained to me recently of a Zanetti cartoon in the Shepparton News. As far as I can remember it depicted a Nativity scene with a hideously long-nosed, witchlike Julia Gillard as Mary, Kevin Rudd as the baby Jesus and so on. I have no problem with this sort of thing, though it didn’t raise a smile. This is because it is a blatant and deplorable example of double standards. There was, you remember, some time ago a kerfuffle over cartoons depicting Mohammed in Denmark. Nearly all of the world’s and Australia’s press, including the Shepparton News, were too craven to publish the enormously newsworthy cartoons! Had they all published them, a blow for press freedom second almost to none would have been struck. Threats of retaliatory violence would have been utterly bamboozled by so huge and worldwide a number of targets. The cartoons were doubtless tasteless, as in its way was Zanetti’s, but so what? Deferring to threats of violence over matters of good versus bad taste is craven, cowardly and ultimately self-defeating.
I suppose that we can commend the Editor of the Shepparton News for being informed enough to have grasped that Christianity preaches love, forgiveness and turning the other cheek and as being therefore a safe target for satire.
To earn our respect and elicit our admiration, however, he needs to pick on hard targets as well as soft, for it is bullies who target only the soft and defenceless.
TRAVELLERS TALES (34)
(Andrew Neaum in the year 2000)
It was in early August, our final month at Invergowrie, that we made another trip to Edinburgh. We arrived in mid-morning and parked in the central, safe, roofed car-park that we had found on our previous visit, and then took a stroll in that street of streets the Golden Mile.
Childhood
We eventually entered “The Museum of Childhood” which someone had recommended to us and for which, most rare in a touristy city, there is no entry charge. It proved to be very good indeed, comprising three floors and five galleries. It featured toys, dolls, food, games, school and so on, most exhibits dating from Victorian times. The most striking thing for me was how many items took me back to my own childhood, though of course many are even older than that. There are examples displayed there of the pedal cars I always wanted, but never had, horribly ineffective things whenever, as a child, I tried them out at other people’s houses. There are Hornby train sets with those dreadful tracks that are so hard to piece together without bumps and buckles that derail the trains. There are dinky cars, meccano sets and so on. As with all museums there are so many items on display that you can only skim, unable to absorb everything and by the time you have finished you are bored. We watched a black and white video film of little girls playing street games in Edinburgh, insouciant little creatures skipping and hop scotching merrily and expertly away to the accompaniment of old songs and nursery rhymes. Now of course those little girls are all either ancient or dead. Any adult looking over a museum like this does so in a gentle cloud of melancholic nostalgia, for the displays preserve not only the childhood of others, but also his own, with all its little happinesses and sadnesses, hopes, desires and minor achievements.
Simpering dolls
In the school section we listened to a tape of Scottish children chanting their multiplication tables, starting, as we never did, with zero.... “six noughts are nothing, six ones are six....” and so on. The museum, as you would expect, contains great lots of dolls, indeed, there is a whole gallery filled with cabinets full of them. I hate dolls en masse, they give me the creeps. This I discovered at the annual doll shows in the Ararat church hall when I was Rector there. There is too great a concentration of simpering niceness and sweetness to bear. In the Edinburgh museum there are a few golliwogs, recently rehabilitated from politically correct disapproval I am pleased to note, and I also spotted the most revolting little sentimental baby lad called “Diddums” - apparently a character created by Mabel Lucy Attwell. The very same one who, until Margaret removed it, was in the picture above the loo at the house in Invergowrie with the appalling rhyme beneath it which I quoted earlier in these Traveller’s Tales, beginning ...“Please remember, don’t forget - Never leave the bathroom wet....” There is also a fascinating nickelodeon piano on display, with a sort of band inside its works behind glass. Once you put in the coin, not only do the keys press themselves, but also the keys of a piano accordion inside play, drums beat themselves and triangles ting.
Street performances
For lunch we ate a quiche made previously by Margaret, and because Elizabeth was not feeling very well, I buzzed off at speed to a sheet music shop, identified somehow or other by Elizabeth, leaving Margaret and Rachel to browse in nearby shops as Elizabeth sat feeling miserable in the car. I walked the length of Princes Street, its pavements clogged by pedestrian tourists and shoppers, so much so that my speedy walk necessitated hopping on to the road a lot to overtake people. I found the shop easily enough and after juggling opus numbers and different editions bought, at far too great expense, a fair bit of Schubert piano and violin music. I also bought a book of twenty five anthems for Soprano, Alto and men, that is, with only a single male line, this for eventual use by our choir in Wodonga. When I got back to the car I discovered that Elizabeth was feeling a little better and so we went out to walk about the Golden Mile, because much of it had by then had been blocked to traffic because the Edinburgh Festival was in full swing, with its associated Fringe Festival, and so all sorts of interesting street activities were in progress. There were cameo performances by the casts of shows being put on that night, to tempt people into buying tickets. Leaflets for all sorts of shows were thrust upon us. We watched a little bit of a play by Euripides, walked past musicians of one sort and another and watched, with a good crowd, a cheeky and accomplished juggler at work, walking backwards right up to the top of a step ladder juggling, and then juggling an axe, a big ball and an apple, eating the apple as he did so, all with a raucous but clever patter. Another show we stopped for a while to watch was of a woman making fools of four volunteer middle-aged men, getting them to take their shirts off and so on. A lot of these shows were not extracts from evening performances, but sophisticated busking. There was a great atmosphere and lots of people. We looked over a second hand book sale - it had good stuff and I was tempted by an edition of the Scottish Students Song Book to replace the one given to me, I think as many years ago as when as I lived on the island of Tristan da Cunha and so was probably only ten, this copy is now falling to bits. However, at twenty quid I didn’t think it worth it. When first published it had cost eight shillings. We then found somewhere to have a cup of coffee or tea, to give Elizabeth a break. Street walking is a tiring business, who would want to be a prostitute!
Cheap food
Because our choice of venue turned out to be vegetarian as well as expensive we moved off elsewhere to find somewhere to have a meal. Most good places, as you would expect, were full and so eventually we ended up in a very ordinary pub, not far from where our car was parked, called The Tass. The food advertised was very cheap and having ordered and paid for the day’s special, Tagliatelle and smoked salmon sauce, we were told that all the pasta was finished and so not available. We ended up with a chicken baguette served with salads, as well as noché and sauces which proved most acceptable, the beer too was excellent. Elizabeth didn’t eat, but was much revived by coke, so back we went to the car, picked up blankets and jerseys and made our way up to the Castle for the Tattoo.
The Tattoo begins
There was a huge crowd waiting and we could only inch forward into the narrow entry at the top of the cobbled street. When once seated we were able to notice how lovely the evening was, with a cool breeze and although I had my jersey on I had no need of a jacket. The show lived up to all expectations, especially the beginning, as hundreds and hundreds of pipers, bandsmen and soldiers marched on to the parade ground through simulated smoke, the music loud and beautiful to hear, the precision marching superb. What a marvellous thing military pageantry is, it moves the spirit like almost nothing on earth. This is what makes it dangerous of course, it makes the press gang almost unnecessary, rousing young men into the folly of voluntary enlistment.
Australian excellence
It was the fiftieth anniversary of the Tattoo, focussing upon the Commonwealth and there was certainly a sense of what the Commonwealth could and should be, rather than what it actually is. Of the acts from abroad the Maori and the Zulu performances I found just a little anticlimactic, perhaps having seen too much of such things before. The best act of all, other than the massed bands and marching, came from the South Australian Police Band. Their blue uniforms were crowned by white pith helmets. The act began with the obligatory and politically correct aboriginal set piece, a scrawny fellow doing a shuffling dance to the sonorous sound of a didgeridoo, but then the band joined them in what they were playing, in an almost spoofy way, and the bandsmen even began dancing a movement or two in the aboriginal fashion and it evolved into a light-hearted, uncontrived and happy celebration of two cultures. The band went on to play a medley of Australian tunes, sometimes in a parodic, mocking, out of tune fashion, and they were eventually joined by a troupe of sheilas, a calisthenic group, who flung their legs around in great precision, their stetsons more unacceptably incongruous to me than the band’s pith helmets. Then there were two fellows in Kangaroo outfits, a cliché to make you groan, but one with a purpose, because out of the pouch of the big one came eventually a huge Australian flag which the sheilas unfurled flat and marched with.... all very well done. The Canadian Mounties were also good, particularly at precision marching and there was a band of Scottish Dancing girls a little bit like the River Dance mob, not quite strictly country dancing though, tarted up a bit, the music to my ear not as pleasing as more conventional Scottish Country Dancing music.
A great conclusion
The conclusion of the evening was suitably impressive. We all stood to sing the National Anthem, the Evening Hymn, (The Day Thou Gavest) was played, and then a Celtic Singer sang the “New Scottish National Anthem”, not an unpleasant tune, but she sang it in that exaggeratedly meaningful way that popular singers adopt on such occasions, sucking sentiment out every syllable and all but swallowing the microphone. When we watched her on the Television version of the show this was less marked, I am pleased to say. There was also the lone piper on the castle battlements, the roar of battlement cannon, fireworks and wailing pipes. Marvellous. We made our way out slowly with amiable crowds down the street to the car and out of Edinburgh and home. (to be continued)
CONGRATULATIONS
Birthdays
Charles Grant. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17th Dec
Joy Martin. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18th Dec
Lawrie Tinning. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18th Dec
Barbara Philp. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20th Dec
Ella Egan. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22nd Dec
FOUND WANTING
Congratulations to Sue Lear, her team of helpers and all the children for the lovely and moving little Nativity Play last Sunday. It was a delight to watch and listen to and the costuming was imaginative and excellent. It made a lovely end to the Children’s Church year, except, that is, for the Crib Service on Christmas Eve at 5.30pm at which we look forward to seeing many children indeed.
NEWS OF THE BEI’S
Last Sunday Monica, Benson, Benson’s sister from China and the triplets turned up to say hullo at the Rectory. The three children were as beautiful and charming as ever, nowhere near as silent as when they left us, Tyron in particular very talkative. They remain living in Bendigo but have not bought a house as they are not sure that this is where they wish to stay. They send their best wishes to us all for Christmas and the New Year.
BOXING DAY ON WEDNESDAY
On Boxing Day, Wednesday the 26th there will be no 10.00am Eucharist. There will be one instead at 8.00am, in honour of St Stephen, and those who turn up will be heros in his tradition.
THANK YOU FOR PRAYERS
Alexandra & Charles for whom we have been praying have a new baby daughter and give heartfelt thanks to God for that as well as for the prayer support that played its part in so happy an event.
POST CHRISTMAS CHARITY
Some years ago we decided that the need for charitable gifts of food at this time of the year is far greater after Christmas than before. We do not, therefore hand out Christmas hampers prior to Christmas, instead we make sure that our food cupboard is full for the New Year. Useful donations are 2 minute noodles, 50gram containers of coffee, small 400gram tins of braised steak & onions, 1 litre cartons of full cream, long life milk, 250gram packets of Kraft cheddar cheese, 1kilo bags of white sugar, small Vita Brits, tinned fruit, 150gram jars of vegemite or 375gram jars of peanut butter.
ROSTERS
We are now ready to compile the 2008 rosters. If you haven’t already signed up for a duty, do so today, or if you wish to come off a roster delete your name accordingly.
PARISH COUNCIL
There is a meeting of the Parish Council on Wednesday at 7.30pm in the Den. If members bring along either a bottle of something soothing or a modest plate of something delectable, we will segue seamlessly from business to pleasure and end the year full of warm bonhomie.
SOOTHED SOULS
The Simply Soul Soothing time of quiet reflection on Tuesdays starting at 12.15pm and ending with lunch, will not take place on either Christmas Day or New Year’s Day, for obvious reasons. It will begin again on Tuesday the 8th of January.
CHRISTMAS ON YOUR OWN
If anyone is daunted by the thought of spending Christmas Day on their own, have a word with the clergy because a married couple has offered to share their Christmas Day meal with just such a person or two.
CLEAN UP FOR CHRISTMAS
On Thursday, from 8.30am onwards, we will be having a dust, sweep and polish of the church in preparation for Christmas. Do come along to help. There are usually far too few of us.
CHRISTMAS CAKES
Thank you indeed to all the good folk who made Christmas cakes for us. Your clergy have been gallivanting hither and thither around Dookie and Katandra delivering them to many folk on our roll. They are a small token of the prayers and thoughts of those of us who are towns folk in response to the hardships so many in the country have been experiencing.
DATES FOR THE DIARY
Dec 24th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Children’s Christmas Eucharist 5.30pm
Dec 24th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Christmas Eucharist Katandra 8.00pm
Dec 24th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Midnight Mass 11.30pm (Carols at 11.00pm)
Dec 25th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Christmas Eucharists 8.45 Dookie
Dec 25th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Xmas Eucharists 8.30am & 10.30am St A’s
June 1st . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Patronal Festival
REQUESTS FOR PRAYER
At the beginning of each month this list is cleared and ALL names need putting down again on the list in the narthex and signed in. No names should be listed without a person’s permission.
Tony Armstrong, Liam Bognar, Nicky Cavill, Jack Cook, Christine Day, Emmie Dean, Donna Dyson, John Green, Pat Griffin, Kath Grills, Frank Harder, Sam Martin, John Moore, Margaret Neaum, Margaret Noble, Reg Oxenford, Margaret Osborough, Peter & Eva Swindells, Jan Riches, Pam Thomson, Lorraine Vogul, David, George, Glenda, Peter, David & Judith, Layla, Roslyn, Maureen, Myra, David.
Rest in Peace
Denise McKellar, Jim Perry
Anniversary of death
Bernard Bazeley 16th, Anella Fennell, Victor Reither 19th, Bertha Northey 20th, Frederick Nowell, Maxwell Allen, Ethol Miles, Mavis Trevaskis, Mary Clark 21st, Vera Tattersall, Kim Chapman, Gwendoline Hounslow 22nd.
Duties for 16th December 2007
Vigil Eucharist at 6pm 15th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Andrew Neaum
Celebrant 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Andrew Neaum
Celebrant 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Gail Bryce
Celebrant 8.45 St. Luke’s Dookie. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Gail Bryce
Celebrant 10.45 St. Mary’s Katandra. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Andrew Neaum
Readers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Heather Fitzgerald, Norm Mitchelmore
Readers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Ian Bryce, Nancy Noonan
Servers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Michelle, Ben, Daniel
Servers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Joan, Volunteers
Intercessors. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Celebrant
Euc. Assts 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . M. Neaum, Heather Fitzgerald
Euc. Assts 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Carole Henderson, Bev Condon
Welcoming 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Joy Campbell, Pat Griffin
Welcomers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nola Brewer, Sandra Simonis
Sidespeople 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Joe Pearson, Bob Galt
Sidespeople 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .John Pleming, Charlotte Brewer
Tea 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Bev Reither
Welcome Tbl . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Val Rose
Mowing 15th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Norm Mitchelmore, Michael Egan
Duties for 23rd December 2007
Vigil Eucharist at 6pm 22nd . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Andrew Neaum
Celebrant 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Gail Bryce
Celebrant 10.30 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gail Bryce
Celebrant 8.45 St. Luke’s Dookie. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Andrew Neaum
Celebrant 10.45 St. Mary’s Katandra. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Andrew Neaum
Readers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Heather Carlyon, Pat Griffin
Readers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mary Pearson, Bev Condon
Servers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Beth, Alex, Philippa
Servers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Joan, Erin, Sally
Intercessors. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Margaret Neaum, Christine Jones
Euc. Assts 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Carole Henderson, Bev Condon
Euc. Assts 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ian Bryce, Christine Evans
Welcoming 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Joyce Cavill, Eileen Quaife
Welcomers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Hilder Lidgard, Jenny Moran
Sidespeople 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Joy Campbell, Trevor Batey
Sidespeople 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Nola Brewer, Alan Akers
Tea 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Shirley Dean
Welcoming Table. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8.30 Dorothy Cook
Mowing 22nd. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Adrian Evans
THIS WEEK IN THE PARISH
Monday 17th December Rector’s Day off
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
Tuesday 18th December
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
10.00am Playgroup
12.15pm Simply Soul Soothing - Lady Chapel
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
Wednesday 19th December
7.45am Mattins only- Lady Chapel
10.00am Eucharist - St Augustine’s
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
5.30pm Choir Practice for 10.30 Eucharist
7.00pm Parish Council Meeting
Thursday 20th December
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
11.00am Eucharist- Harmony Village
2.30pm Eucharist - Grutzner House
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
5.30pm Choir Practice
7.30pm Advent Study - Narthex
Friday 21st December
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
11.00am Eucharist -Ave Maria
11.00am Eucharist - Mercy Home
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
Saturday 22nd December Associate Priest ‘s day off
7.45am Mattins and Eucharist Trad Rite Lady Chapel
6.00pm Vigil Eucharist
Sunday 23rd Dec Fourth Sunday in Advent
8.30am Eucharist - St Augustine’s
10.30am Eucharist - St Augustine’s
8.45am St. Luke’s Dookie
10.45am St. Mary’s Katandra