EIGHTH SUNDAY AFTER PENTECOST
22nd July 2007
Graphics and cartoons appear only in the printed version
NO RETURN
How do you get rid of a boomerang? Throw it down a one way street.
EXTRATERRESTRIAL
A UFO lands in Corio Street just as a municipal truck delivering the new garbage bins comes along. Spotting the UFO, the driver tried to do a wheelie and one of the bins fell off and rolled across to where the extraterrestrial was standing. It didn’t hesitate for a second. The extraterrestrial picked up the bin and ran after the speeding truck. “Madam! Madam!” he called. “You’ve dropped your handbag!”
TRAVELLERS’ TALES (17)
Andrew Neaum (2000)
A couple of weeks ago I spent four days camping with my son David in the Buckland valley near Bright. One of the many pleasures of these few days was swimming in the deep pools of the clear, fresh, trout-bearing Buckland River. We even caught and ate a good sized trout, one of the most delicious of fish, especially if its skin is grilled crisp.
Bilharzia and leeches
Anyone brought up, as I was, in Africa, appreciates clear, clean river water because the waterways and dams of most of Africa are infested with bilharzia. Any contact with water invites that awful disease into your system to wreck your liver and life. While in Scotland we went on a parish picnic to Clatto Park, a stone-lined reservoir and small recreation park near to Dundee. We had a pleasant and idle time there, of the sort that we have on our parish barbecues at St John’s. However, it was interesting to discover that even in cool Scottish waters there are unpleasant pests. We discovered two descendants of the leeches used in vain by doctors for so many centuries to cure their patients of every imaginable ailment by sucking out their blood. They were a couple of wildly waving inches long. Considering that the reservoir is well used for swimming and boating it was a surprising discovery. There are also ticks to be picked up while walking in the Scottish grasslands - particularly nasty for being so small. African ticks are much bigger and so easier to detect. If left undetected they blow themselves up on your blood to the size of a large, juice-swollen, curried sultana. They are more lethal than their Scottish cousins, for they pass on a particularly nasty and sometimes fatal tick fever.
Zimbabwean reflections
On returning home from Clatto Park, we were reminded once more of our African past by a BBC program by Richard Dimbleby on Zimbabwe and Mugabe. We found television in Britain far less compelling than we expected. Australia’s ABC gives us a false idea of the quality of British television by filtering out most of the rubbish. Because we were in Scotland during summer, many of the best programmes were not running. Winter is the time for good television.
The programme on Mugabe and Zimbabwe provided an interesting perspective of the whole history of Rhodesia’s independence and change to Zimbabwe, reminding us of the almost criminal myopia of Ian Smith and of most of us whites. It outlined very clearly too, Ian Smith’s outmanoeuvring of Harold Wilson, showed just how wily the Conservatives were, and how coldly pragmatic and self-interested the South Africans and Henry Kissinger were, both of whom forced the compromise that led to Mugabe’s victory, with a little help from Mrs Thatcher. My only disagreement with the programme’s interpretation of events was over the role of intimidation in Mugabe’s first electoral win. I am convinced that he would have won convincingly with or without intimidation. He was far more widely hero worshipped by the blacks than most whites ever realised.
He has turned out to be a wily politician without principles, and one who has allowed himself to be corrupted totally, first doubtless by the necessary brutality of revolution and then by power itself. In an interview on the programme he showed himself very able at picking on selective facts to build an almost convincing point of view. Why, for example, wasn’t and isn’t there an offer of compensation to white farmers sufficient to defuse the land ownership imbalance? He has a point. On the other hand, why has the question still not been dealt with? Why hasn’t an answer been vigorously pursued and worried over for the last twenty years? Why has the animosity over land been allowed to break out into conflict now, if it is not merely to divert attention away from Mugabe’s unpopularity?
From being the darling of the liberal left at the time of independence Mugabe is now one of their pariah’s. I suspect that his fall from grace is related to something other than mere incompetent and cruel government. Mugabe is a homophobe. This is as great a crime these days, if not greater, than racism, and he really and truly is one. Not only has he persecuted homosexuals in Zimbabwe, there is evidence of a profound horror of them in his conversation. He was apparently accosted by the homosexual activist Peter Thatchell when on a visit to London some time ago. Thatchell (he was the one who attacked Archbishop Carey in a cathedral pulpit) got close enough actually to touch Mugabe in a scuffle, before being overpowered by security personnel. Mugabe seems to have been so disturbed and angry about this that he has allowed it really to poison his relationship with Blair’s government. He ludicrously perhaps, and irrelevantly certainly, accused Blair’s Foreign Minister, Peter Hain, of being not only “gay” but Thatchell”s wife!! This was perhaps the most interesting little bit of the whole programme.
There was also an interview with Peter Walls, the head of the Rhodesian army at the time of independence and he admitted that he had planned a coup. When it became clear that Mugabe was going to win the election, General Walls said, the army was set to arrest all of Mugabe’s leaders and then demand another election without intimidation. However, the plan was listened to by black servants serving refreshments, and so Mugabe’s leaders moved into hiding and that was that! General Walls appeared a bit of a fool and surely this was evidence enough of his foolishness. What idiocy to plan a coup with Mugabe-supporting black servants in attendance!
Judging the fancy dressed
In the middle of June Invergowrie held its Village Gala Day in the local park. The Saturday chosen turned out to be grey, with spots of rain falling and more than spots threatening. The park’s darting and aggressive blackbirds and quarrelling sparrows were sidelined, the wing clattering wood pigeons driven off, and the neat lawns and sometimes even the flowerbeds were well trampled.
A big white marquee had been set up for craft stalls, with lesser marquees for teas and other typical fete activities. There was also a caravan burger and hot dog stall, a beer tent, a sound system, a couple of port-a-loos and a fair gathering of people. I am no great lover of such affairs, but having been asked to help judge the fancy dress competition, I arrived early to confer with my fellow judges. These were Ian Ramsey (the genial Church of Scotland Minister) and Andrew Welsh (the local Scottish National MP). As we conferred a band of pipers appeared, tartaned rather than pied, but nonetheless followed by a gaggle of fancy-dressed children. Ian Ramsay and Andrew Welsh opened the day with mercifully short speeches, while I looked on with my best professional grin winsomely displayed. Grinning and smiling is part of a clergyman’s job and sometimes, at the end of a particularly long session of it, I get a minor pain at the back of my head, a reaction to over-used smile muscles. After the speeches we went and judged the three classes of fancy dress. It was decided that I should announce the winners because, not being a permanent resident of the village, I would eventually be able to escape any persecution from disappointed losers. Judging was not too difficult a job really, though we did try to be careful to favour those in homemade outfits rather than those in bought ones.
The Scottish Nationals
After this we went to the refreshment tent for a complimentary cup of coffee and a cake and I engaged Andrew Welsh, the MP, in conversation. He lives in Arbroath and proved to be an amiable fellow with the politician’s easy patter. I asked what the Scottish Nationals are aiming for, and he said that they were after nothing less than complete independence. I suggested that economic disentanglement from England, as well as total independence, might well prove difficult and costly and not at all to Scotland’s benefit. At this he began to wax eloquent about North Sea Oil being Scottish. I wonder about that! Oil has a strange effect upon ethics! However, Tony Blair, for what seems to me to be cynical, vote-catching motives, began the whole devolution process in Britain and it does seem that it might well prove to be the beginning of a road that leads towards complete independence and the end of the United Kingdom. Andrew Welsh maintains that Scotland has a better educational system than England, is self sufficient in all temperate agricultural produce and is far more wealthy than bankrupt England. He disowned “nationalism”, but of course that is what it is about. A nasty thing is nationalism, it needs distinguishing from patriotism which is altogether laudable.
Lesser amusements
After a beer in the beer tent I was joined by Margaret and the girls and we watched a display of Tai Kwan Do - a very boring pastime for onlookers and it didn’t look particularly rivetting for performers either. We then listened to the local primary school choir sing. I fear they were nowhere near as accomplished as Mrs Lewington’s children at Wodonga Primary, or as most of the choirs that participate in our Choral Festival at St John’s, but children’s voices are always a delight to listen to. Unfortunately this choir was rather difficult to hear, largely because they were facing away from their audience, which seemed a little perverse. We then listened to the pipe band for a while and met and welcomed the two delightful King Charles spaniels belonging to Doreen, the sacristan at All Soul’s. They too had been brought along to enjoy Gala day. After this we headed home intending to come back later to watch a parachute jump, but were unable to as we had unexpected visitors. (To be continued)
CONGRATULATIONS
Birthdays
Joan Kitto . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23rd July
Robert Cook. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24th July
Eva Swindells. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .25th July
Anniversary
Pat & John Griffin. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .21st July
PARISH FAIR & GARDEN PARTY
There is a meeting in the Den this Thursday the 26th of the Parish Fair and Garden Party Committee starting at 3.45pm. Please note the change of time. All are welcome.
OUTREACH
If you are wondering what has happened to “Outreach”, it is happening this week, all being well.
BLESSING OF SCULPTURE
AND WALL HANGING
Sunday, August 26th is a big day in the life of the parish. At the 10.30am Eucharist we will
bless the “Baptism of Christ” Sculpture and the “Ascension” Wall hanging. We will have the Bishop and other guests with us and there will be a free luncheon afterwards. The 8.30am choir, I hope, will join the 10.30am choir to make sweet music and the 8.30am Eucharist on that day will be said. We hope that Dookie and Katandra folk will join us and so there will be not services there on that day. To aid us in catering please sign up for lunch on the list in the Narthex. Dookie and Katandra folk please ring in or give the clergy notice of your intention to attend the lunch. Ask friends along. This is a parish occasion demanding from us all a “sense of occasion”, i.e. it requires if necessary trouble taken to attend!
PATS PIES AND DIAL
Pat Griffin thanks all who bought her fruit pies during May. With all your help she was able to donate $300 to Hospice! It was pleasing to see her featured in the local paper last week, though not for pie making but in connection with the polio precautions.
EVENING GUILD
The Garage Sale held last weekend was a huge success, raising over $2,800, with more money to come in. Our very big thanks to Alan Akers, Norm Mitchelmore, Norm Weaver, John Pleming, Joe Pearson Ted Kitto and Merv Cowland who spent quite a few hours collecting the goods and setting up the trestles. Also to the may people who contributed towards the sale and to the members who gave their time over the two days. The winners of the raffle were:-
1st prize: A Dolls cot: Rhonda Jones
2nd prize: A HamperEva Woodman
Elaine McMullen (Secretary)
BAPTISM
We welcome into our Church family by way of Baptism today Coby Henery and his parents, family and friends to our service. We also thank Jenny Moran for being our congregational sponsor. Welcome too to the Newbound twins being baptized with Orthodox ceremony at 12.15pm
COMMUNIONS IN THE HOME
Our Eucharistic Assistants and clergy take Holy Communion to those in hospital or to the homebound regularly or on request. Please do let us know if there are folk who would like or require this. It is an awful thing if folk who have been faithful communicants all their lives, as soon as they become immobile or elderly drop out of our Eucharistic fellowship!
PRAYER LINE
Anyone needing urgent prayer can phone the Prayer Line: Hilary Akers on phone 58314267 sets it all in motion.
CATECHESIS
To be enrolled in this program will be a very great privilege. Those with children of the right age and who are serious about them being brought up with a sense of the “other” and of awe and wonder, should make sure that any children they have between the ages of 3 and 6 are enrolled for a weekly, weekday afternoon session. Names to the Parish Office or to the clergy please.
There is a working bee this Monday at 9.30am and a Review on Tuesday at 1.30pm to assess where we are, what we have achieved, what we have still to achieve and what we still require to make or buy and also to make a final decision as to when we begin the program. All those interested in the project should be in attendance.
HALL COMMITTEE
There is a Hall Committee meeting on Sunday at 12.15pm
✬✮✭✮✭ STUDY GROUP ✭✮✭✮✭
The Thursday night Study Group meetings resume on the 26th July at 7.30pm. This time it will consist of a video and discussion: “What’s so amazing about Grace”. The group will meet at Carole Henderson’s home. Place your name on the list in the Narthex if you are interested in attending.
DIOCESAN SNOW TRIP
The Diocesan Youth Snow Trip takes place from Fri 3rd August to Sunday 5th of August. Forms and information are in the Narthex.
DATES FOR THE DIARY
July 26th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Parish Fair & Garden Party meeting 3.45pm
July 29th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Hall Committee Meeting 12.15pm
Aug 13th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pastoral Care meeting
Aug 26th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dedication of Sculpture & Wall Hanging
Sept 8th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wedding 1.30pm
Sept 8th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wedding 3.00pm
Sept 15th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Wedding 1pm
Sept 15th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wedding 2.30pm
Sept. 27th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Parish Fair & Garden Party Committee mtg.
Oct 6th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Wedding 2.30pm
Oct 6th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Men’s Breakfast
Oct 13th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Wedding 3.30pm
Oct 15 -18. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Clergy Conference
Oct 25th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Parish Fair & Garden Party Committee mtg.
Oct 27th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Wedding 1.00pm
Nov 10th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Parish Fair
Nov 17th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wedding 3.00pm
Nov 17th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wedding 5.00pm
Nov 24th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wedding 2.00pm
Nov 24th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wedding 3.30pm
Dec 1st. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Wedding 2.00pm
Dec 1st . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Men’s Breakfast
Dec 8th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Wedding 4pm
Duties for 22nd July 2007
Vigil Eucharist at 6pm Sat 21st . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Andrew Neaum
Celebrant 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Gail Bryce
Celebrant 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Gail Bryce
Celebrant 8.45 Dookie. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Andrew Neaum
Celebrant 10.45 Katandra. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Andrew Neaum
Readers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Carole Henderson, Heather Carlyon
Readers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bev Condon, Andrea Fisher
Servers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Beth, Ben, Daniel
Servers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Joan, Zebedee, Joe
Intercessors. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pat Griffin, Celebrant
Euc. Assts 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ian Bryce, Carole Henderson
Euc. Assts 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Bev Condon, Jenny Pleming
Welcoming 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Heather Nichols, Joyce Cavill
Welcomers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nola Brewer, Sandra Simonis
Sidespeople 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Bob Galt, Norm Mitchelmore
Sidespeople 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Alan Akers, Nola Brewer
Tea 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Gwyn Cowland
Welcome Tbl.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8.30 Margaret Hoare, 10.30 Dorothy Cook
Duties for 29th July 2007
Vigil Eucharist at 6pm Sat 28th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Andrew Neaum
Celebrant 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Andrew Neaum
Celebrant 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Andrew Neaum
Celebrant 8.45 Dookie. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gail Bryce
Celebrant 10.45 Katandra. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Gail Bryce
Readers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Norm Mitchelmore,Margaret Neaum
Readers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Carole Henderson, Courtney Cravan
Servers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Volunteer, Beth, Michelle
Servers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Jenny, Sally, Erin
Intercessors. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Heather Fitzgerald, Nancy Noonan
Euc. Assts 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Margaret Neaum, Bev Condon
Euc. Assts 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Carole Henderson, Maureen Cormican
Welcoming 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Erma Wilson, Shirley Dean
Welcomers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Hilder Lidgard, Jenny Moran
Sidespeople 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Merv Cowland, Gwyn Cowland
Sidespeople 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jenny Pleming, Charlotte Brewer
Tea 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Bev Reither
Mowing 28th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Norm Mitchelmore, Michael Egan
Welcome Tbl. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8.30 Judy Lloyd 10.30 Mary Pearson.
REQUESTS FOR PRAYER
Liam Bognar, David Burrow, Holly Butterfield, Suzanne Camm, Julie Camp, Goldie Coe, Dorothy Cook, Nance Cook, Donna Dyson, Mavis Euling, Kath Grills, Frank Harder, Aaron Hinchliffe, Frank Holla, Denise McKellar, Margaret Neaum, Margaret Noble, Margaret Osborough, Elsie Rae, Edith Robins, Jan Riches, Robyn Stone, Peter & Eva Swindells, Laurie Tinning, Lil Utley, Lorraine Vogul, Bevan, Bill, David, Dorrie, Joan, Alexandra & Charles, David & Judith, Buffy, Liz, Peggy, Yvonne.
Rest in peace
Rita Johnstone, Eveline Smith, Caroline Knight.
Anniversary of death
John Stone 22nd, Donald Seymour 23rd, Irene Dickie, Bridget Howell 24th, Sarrah Robbins, Maxwell Mathieson, Edward Anquetil 25th, Frederick Grutzner, Jessie Lynas 26th, Jessie Ross, Daisy Brereton 27th, John Wood, Jamie Thompson, Ethan Smith 28th.
THIS WEEK IN THE PARISH
Mon 23rd July
Rector’s day off
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
Tuesday 24th July
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
10.00am Playgroup
3.00pm Senior Staff & Bishop in Council
12.15pm Simply Soul Soothing - Lady Chapel
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
4.00pm Confirmation Class
Wednesday 25th July
7.45am Mattins only- Lady Chapel
10.00am Eucharist - St Augustine’s
3.00pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
5.30pm Choir Practice for 10.30 Eucharist
Thursday 26th July
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
10.15am Eucharist Grutzner House-
11.00am Eucharist- Harmony Village
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
3.45pm Parish Fair & Garden Party meeting
5.00pm Hospice Committee Meeting
5.30pm Choir Practice
Friday 27th July
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
11.00am Ave Maria
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
7.00pm Arise 255
Saturday 28th July
Associate Priest’s Day Off
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist
6.00pm Vigil Eucharist
Sunday 29th July 8th Sunday after Pentecost
8.30am Eucharist - St Augustine’s
10.30am Eucharist - St Augustine’s/Baptisms
8.45am St Luke’s Dookie
10.45am St Mary’s Katandra West
12.15am Hall Committee Meeting
5.30pm Evening Prayer