25 November 2007 Christ the King

TWENTY SIXTH SUNDAY AFTER PENTECOST

“CHRIST THE KING”

25^th November 2007

Graphics and cartoons appear only in the printed version

KNOCK KNOCK

What do you get if you cross a Jehovah’s Witness with an atheist? Someone who knocks on your door for nothing.

SHORT HABITS

Two young nuns went to the supermarket in the convent’s mini minor. They couldn’t find a parking space so one said she would keep circling the block while the other ducked into the store. Returning with a full trolley, the nun could see no sign of her colleague. “Have you seen a nun in a red mini?” she asked a policeman. “Not since I stopped drinking,” he replied.

TRAVELLERS TALES (30)

(Andrew Neaum in the year 2000)

We made our way back to Invergowrie down the east coast, which is very different from western Scotland. We passed through rolling pastureland and fields of barley and potato. Any mountains we encountered were cloud covered but certainly not of the awe inspiring or dominating sort. We stopped at a lovely town called Huntly having decided, most uncharacteristically, to have fish and chips for lunch. The Information Office told us where a good shop was, but when we had walked a considerable distance to find it, it was closed. There were no supermarkets in sight and Saturday afternoon bakery windows displayed nothing at all appetising, so we pushed on to Aberdeen. This is indeed a big city with a lot of unremarkable if not downright ugly parts to it. A quick spin through “Old Aberdeen” revealed some real beauty, but rumbling stomachs made a supermarket the most beautiful of all sights and so we bought ham and rolls and chocolate and went to eat them on the sea front, watching a smallish container ship leave port at the south side of the esplanade. Before leaving we went to the docks, interestingly almost in the heart of the town itself. We watched another ship detach itself from the dockside and leave without the aid of tugs, after which we headed south, calling in at Stonehaven, famous for its beautiful fishing and yachting harbour. After a wander around the little harbour we stopped to view, photograph, but not explore ruined Dunottar Castle, impressively sited on a craggy little peninsular. Then it was double carriageway all the way home to Dundee, where fish and chips were eaten overlooking the Tay, surrounded by black-faced, chip gulping gulls.

At about this time we went to dinner with another Wednesday morning parishioner of All Soul’s, a woman of strong opinions, a parish Trustee and active in the diocese. Her husband we discovered to be a most amiable six feet three inches tall, pipe smoking virologist at the Crop Research Station. He specialises at present in potatoes, so we had a good talk about that most delicious of all potatoes the Aran Pilate, which I would have liked to introduce to my garden at Wodonga but was unable to find any seed potatoes to plant. He told me that it is an old variety and recommended one called Duke of York as being pretty well as good to taste. He also informed us that the rainfall at Invergowrie is only about 22 or 23 inches a year, which is less than for Wodonga.

Novelist and priest

One of the purposes of our invitation was to enable us to meet socially the rector of St Mary Magdalene’s in Dundee, whom we had met briefly at a “Scottish Evening” some time previously. Our hosts attend his church on Sundays. David Shepherd the Rector of St Mary’s is a writer of detective novels that are published by himself, only about 700 copies of each edition being sold. To publish them costs him about £4000 each. The one that I had read at the time seemed very accomplished and readable, but apparently another that I hadn’t read involves characters of a mildly dubious and amoral sort, and for his pains he was splashed all over the tabloids as the vicar who writes smutty novels! Not a pleasant experience he says. Later on I read the book that had raised the finger-pointing ire of the revolting British tabloids and found nothing prurient or gratuitously sexual in it at all. He proved to be a most entertaining fellow, though very much a centre stage man, the rest of us being required to play second fiddle, viola or cello to his virtuosic and insistent bowing of first fiddle, not occasionally we had even to abandon our own bows altogether as he launched into a particularly lengthy and histrionic cadenza. He told us an excellent joke: A doctor was always being visited and troubled by a hypochondriac who made appointments almost every day to ask for ointments for earache, piles and scaly skin; to demand pills for sleeplessness, arthritis, ulcers and indigestion; to plead for lotions for eczema, athlete’s foot and dermatitis and so on. For month after month and year after year he pestered the doctor. Eventually the doctor died and was buried in the local graveyard, there to rest in peace for eternity. However, five days afterwards, his hypochondriac patient also died and, as luck would have it, was buried in the plot next to the doctor. The very same evening of the day that the hypochondriac was buried, as the doctor’s corpse lay peacefully in its coffin, there was a knock, knock, knock on his coffin’s side. “Yes,” he said. “What is it?” “It is me,” said the hypochondriac, “Have you got anything for worms?”

Local church gossip

With clergy and church folk present there was a fair bit of diocesan gossip aired over the dinner table, needless to say. David Shepherd had some pointed views to air on the Bishop’s near nemesis and albatross, the Provost, views that it won’t repeat here. He had been in his present parish for about twenty years and is certainly a hard working and successful priest, an old hand in the diocese involved in much of what goes on. He told me of a vacant and lovely parish that I should throw my hat in the ring for, and had such a suggestion been made to me but a few weeks after our arrival in Scotland I might well have been tempted to, but by this time I had grown to realise how blessed I am here in Wodonga.

An accomplished performer

Our fellow guest and priest was certainly an engaging, eccentric, clever and funny fellow. His tales of his relations with his boss rector when a curate, were very funny and some of them were even told against himself, though like all of us he tended for the most part to portray himself as a heroic rebel and teller of necessary unpleasant truths. Without doubt he proved to be an all but professional dinner party performer and contributed well to an enjoyable evening.

A welcome return

The next day, which was a Sunday, a much valued parishioner who had left Dundee to live in America some years previously returned to All Souls to general rejoicing. A truly delightful woman, she had been one of Ashley’s great supporters before her departure. She had returned from America because her husband had been offered a very high position at the Crop Research Institute. Her family of five children, with Ashley’s, were part of the wild little band of terrors in the congregation that some of the staid and elderly found difficult to cope with. However, on her return she came to church on her own, her children and their father appearing after the service to pick her up. The boys in particular are probably now old enough to refuse to come to church at all, like dad. The daughter who is a thoughtful and intelligent young lady I had a chat with, she is going back to finish her schooling in America at a Quaker school. Maggie, the mother was truly delightful and has a wonderful voice that improved the congregation’s singing enormously. Sunday’s little congregation was further augmented by four visiting friends of the delightful John Parry, the man who met us at Edinburgh airport on our arrival. Everyone seemed to enjoy a light and short sermon as well as the pew sheet, which is only a quarter of the size of the Wodonga one, but which always carried one of my old Church Scene articles. That evening we watched “Songs of Praise”, it being the program from Glamis Castle in which we had participated. There were mercifully no camera shots of us, but it was good to see the final result. The only slight disappointment was that the piper on the battlements must have been unsatisfactory for some reason, for he was shown playing down below in what must have been a retake.

Visiting a hermit’s cell

At about this time I took Ashley’s marvellous car to the garage for its 20,000 mile service. I asked the mechanic if, when I eventually arranged for them to do what they call a “Valet Service” prior to leaving Scotland which would include a thorough clean, polish and touch up, if they would be able to straighten the little buckled bit under the head lamp. It was caused by some irresponsible person on the island of Mull swiping the parked car when we were absent on Iona. I was told that in all probability they could indeed fix it up, which was good news. I then read the paper at the garage while the car was being serviced before walking to visit an interesting parishioner in a nearby flat. Lyn Riordan lives in a housing estate comprised of great blocks of graffiti-adorned units, all with their bottom floor windows barred. I arrived far too early, having arranged to call at 10.00am, so I walked all around the place and there were very few redeeming features to be seen. Most of these great blocks are destined to be pulled down and replaced with houses eventually. At ten sharp, up I went to Lyn’s flat and was invited in to sit down and to have a cup of coffee and chat. She is a hermit - or says she is. Having tried a nunnery (she fled after ten days), she considers herself to be called to the contemplative life, after the fashion of a hermit, and wears something she calls a habit, a brown affair that isn’t obviously one, until you notice that she always wears it. She has taken vows in front of the Bishop, apparently during a service at All Souls’. I asked whether the vows were the traditional three of poverty, chastity and obedience and she said that they were and so I asked “obedience to whom” and she said that, at present, this was a bit doubtful, which is rather odd. Although in some sort of association with a few others of like mind, here and there, and as well being a third order member of the Fairacres community of nuns, she seems to be on her own in developing the exact form her calling takes. She does though have a trained spiritual director, a Jesuit, whom she sees about every three months. It is odd to call yourself a hermit when surrounded by flats teeming with humanity, but of course in a sense she is indeed very much alone and in a wilderness, for she lives among folk with whom she has nothing in common and many of whose habits are bestial. So like St Anthony of Egypt and his fanatic followers, there’s both desert and wild beasts as a part of her eremitical life. Perhaps it is not as bizarre as it seems.

An interesting person

A lovely and most interesting person she left school with few qualifications, did secretarial work after completing a secretarial course, studied further later and got enough A levels to get her in to a polytechnic to study some science subject or other. She acquired a boy friend who came to study at Dundee University, and so she followed him and studied for a degree as well. When she and the boy friend parted company she changed courses to avoid continually running in to him, and found some sort of refuge in the Chaplaincy Centre at Dundee University. There she found a congenial small group of friends with whom she got happily involved, among them was Dave Kerr, still a friend and the All Souls’ parish secretary these days. This led her into being confirmed. She then got caught up in a wildly charismatic group at St Luke’s Church in Dundee. It took her three years to escape this rather too wild lot. She once even tried to get Dave to stop using Fairy Washing Up Liquid because it was demonic! (Fairies being demonic you see!). Eventually both she and Dave outgrew this form of Christianity and began to look around for somewhere saner. They settled eventually on All Souls’ as the most warm and welcoming of the churches they visited. She is a lively person, intelligent and with a good sense of humour, mildly wacky, in a pleasantly Christian way.

A contrast

In the afternoon of the same day I visited the parishioner recently returned from America. What a contrast from the squalid flats of the morning. They had just bought a mansion on the Perth Road. A huge three storeyed, stone edifice built in 1907 overlooking the botanical gardens and then the Tay estuary. Because they were unpacking when I called I didn’t stay long, but Maggie agreed to play something on her flute during Communion the following Sunday. (to be continued)

CONGRATULATIONS

Birthday

Nancy Fennell. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .25^th Nov

Bev Ralph. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .25^th Nov

WELCOME

We welcome into God’s family by way of Baptism today: Grant Andrews, Ellie Hunt, Rylan Meloury and Nash Richards. We also welcome their families and friends.

ST MARY’S KATANDRA FESTIVAL

The St Mary’s Katandra Patronal Festival takes place on Saturday 8^th of December at 8.00pm. Anyone who would like a lift with the Rector has only to ask.

PARISH FAIR & GARDEN PARTY

There is a Parish Fair Debriefing Meeting this Thursday 29^th November in the Den at 4.30pm. A representative of each stall or activity is urged to attend so that we can make things even better next year.

ROSTERS

We will soon be doing the duty rosters for next year. If you wish to go on to or come off a roster please indicate this clearly on the sheets in the narthex.

BLOOD

The Australian Red Cross Blood Service are appealing to Church groups to donate blood during the months of December and January. At the Shepparton Donor Centre, 94 Fryers St, on Tues 1.30pm - 8.30pm on Wed 1.30pm -8.30pm on Thurs 8.30am - 2.30pm. The Australian Red Cross Blood Service requires around 4000 units of blood per day to keep blood stocks safe. One unit of blood can save 3 lives. Currently in Australia 80% of people will need blood products at some point in their lives, but only 3% donate blood.

GARDEN COMMITTEE

Working Bee & Christmas Luncheon

There will be a meeting in the library on Friday 30^th Nov at 10am. On Saturday 1^st Dec. We will have our annual Eucharist at 8.30am followed by a working bee, in preparation for Christmas. Our Christmas Luncheon commences at 12.30pm on the same day. Please bring a salad and something nice to drink, meat supplied. Thanks. Barbara Whyte

LECTIONARIES

Anyone who would like to purchase a Lectionary, please put your name on the list in the Narthex and signify which you want. The “New” is the one used for Sundays. The “Old” we use on weekdays to keep in with our lovely donated books of Readings.

CHARITY CARD SHOP

Please note that the card shop is now open and our own Anglicare Cards are on sale there. Please give this your support: Scots Church Hall, Fryers Street. Mon-Thurs from 9.30-4.30; Fri 9.30-6.00; Sat 9.30- noon.

PASTORAL CARE MEETING

There is a Pastoral Care meeting on the 3^rd of December at 1.30pm in the Library.

ARISE 255/YOUTH SERVICE

The Covenant Players will join the Youth Group for a Youth Service on the 8^th December at 6.00pm it will include some imaginative drama. Please encourage the young and young at heart to come along.

PRAYER LIST

The Prayer List will be cleared and started again next week with the new month.

ADVENT STUDY

The Advent Study group meets in the Library on Thursday evenings at 7.30 pm. Based on the different names used in Scripture for Jesus. It won’t ruin the course for you if you missed the first session, last week.

BEATING THE BOUNDS

The Churchwardens, Rector and Fabric Committee meet to “Beat the Bounds” (inspect our properties) on Thursday 29^th at 2.00pm.

CHRISTMAS CAKES

Thank you to all who have donated a Christmas Cake this year. A delicate rectorial sniff of some of those already brought welcome intimations of all the rich and fruity Christmas delights to come.

CAROL SERVICE

The Carol Service this year is early, on Friday 14^th of December at 7.00pm. It is followed by a genteel booze up in the narthex afterwards. Bring along some friends.

LAY READERS TRAINING DAY

There is a Lay Readers training day in Wang-aratta on Sat 1^st of Dec. 9.00am- 2.00pm.

DATES FOR THE DIARY

Nov 29^th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Fete Debrief Meeting 4.30pm

Dec 1^st. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Lay Reader Training Day 9.00am -2.00pm

Dec 1^st. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Wedding 2.00pm

Dec 1^st. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Men’s Breakfast

Dec 8^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Arise 255/Youth Service Covenant Players

Dec 8^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wedding 4.00pm

Dec 8^th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .St. Mary’s 8.00pm

Dec 11^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Grief Support/”Moving On”

Dec 14^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nine Lessons and Carols 7.00pm

Dec 18^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Baptism Preparation

Dec 24^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Children’s Christmas Eucharist 5.30pm

Dec 24^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Christmas Eucharist Katandra 8.00pm

Dec 24^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Midnight Mass 11.30pm (Carols at 11.00pm)

Dec 25^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Christmas Eucharists 8.45 Dookie

Dec 25^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Xmas Eucharists 8.30am & 10.30am St A’s

REQUESTS FOR PRAYER

At the beginning of each month this list is cleared and ALL names need putting down again on the list in the narthex and signed in. No names should be listed without a person’s permission.

Tony Armstrong, Liam Bognar, Nicky Cavill, Christine Day, Emmie Dean, Donna Dyson, John Green, Pat Griffin, Kath Grills, Frank Harder, Win Lawrence, Denise McKellar, John Moore, Margaret Neaum, Margaret Noble, Margaret Osborough, Reg Oxenford, Jan Riches, Robyn Stone, Peter & Eva Swindells, Pam Thomson, Lorraine Vogul, Elizabeth, Glenda, Alexandra & Charles, David & Judith, Roslyn, Maureen. Myra, David.

Rest in peace

Sylvia Kennedy, Frances Brown

Anniversary of death

David Spence, Daryl Meyers, Glenn Haynes 25^th, Mervyn Rogers 26^th, John Ross-Edwards 29^th, Zvezda Nedelkovski 30^th, Judith Bear, Edna Hooper 1^st, Edith Waite, Zaidee Turner 2^nd Georgie Gribble, June Kemp, Marie Peoples 3^rd.

Duties for 25^th November 2007

Vigil Eucharist at 6pm 24^th Nov . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Andrew Neaum

Celebrant 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Gail Bryce

Celebrant 10.30/Baptisms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Andrew Neaum

Celebrant 8.45 St. Luke’s Dookie. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Andrew Neaum

Celebrant 10.45 St. Mary’s Katandra. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gail Bryce

Readers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Carole Henderson, Norm Weaver

Readers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Courtney Craven, Mary Pearson

Servers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Beth, Alex, Philippa

Servers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Jenny, Sally, Erin

Intercessors. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Heather Carlyon, Jenny Pleming

Euc. Assts 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .John Griffin, Heather Fitzgerald

Euc. Assts 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bev Condon, Margaret Neaum

Welcoming 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Val Bambrook, Beryl Goodfellow

Welcomers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Sandra Simonis, Hilder Lidgard

Sidespeople 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Bob Galt, Norm Mitchelmore

Sidespeople 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Nola Brewer, Alan Akers

Tea 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Heather Pearson

Mowing 24^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . John Pleming, Rick Coates

Welcoming. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8.30 Margaret Hoare

Duties for 2^nd December 2007

Vigil Eucharist at 6pm 1^st . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Andrew Neaum

Celebrant 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Andrew Neaum

Celebrant 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Gail Bryce

Celebrant 8.45 St. Luke’s Dookie. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Gail Bryce

Celebrant 10.45 St. Mary’s Katandra. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Andrew Neaum

Readers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Heather Pearson, Jeanette Smith

Readers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Volunteer, Charlotte Brewer

Servers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Volunteer, Michelle, Beth

Servers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jenny, Tom, Bethany

Intercessors. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Carole Henderson, Mary Pearson

Euc. Assts 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Carole Henderson, Bev Condon

Euc. Assts 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jenny Pleming, Ian Bryce

Welcoming 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Judy Lloyd, Heather Pearson

Welcomers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Jenny Moran, Charlotte Brewer

Sidespeople 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Merv Cowland, Gwyn Cowland

Sidespeople 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Charlotte Brewer, John Pleming

Tea 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Val Bambrook

Welcome Tbl . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Judy Lloyd

Mowing 1^st . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Margaret Carroll & Brendan Carroll

THIS WEEK IN THE PARISH

Mon 26^th November Rector’s Day off

7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel