2 December 2007 Advent Sunday

ADVENT SUNDAY

2^nd December 2007

Graphics and cartoons appear only in the printed version

FOUND WANTING

Before mental asylums began to be replaced by community houses for those troubled by mental disorders, a visitor to Aradale in Ararat asked the Director what tests were used to decide whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “Well,” said the Director, “our quickest and easiest test is to fill up a bathtub with water and then offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the tub.” “Ah, I see,” said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.” “No!” said the Director, “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?”

APHORISM

Old men love to give advice to console themselves on not being able to set a bad example. La Rochefoucauld

TRAVELLERS TALES (32)

(Andrew Neaum in the year 2000)

Anyone reading these tales might suppose that our months in Scotland were all eating, drinking and sight seeing. Most of our time, in fact, was spent quietly in Invergowrie happily running the parish and leading a tranquil and contented life, a life concerned with minor parochial and domestic pursuits of one sort or another. It is the hum drum and quotidian as much as what is unusual or extraordinary that makes life worth living. Games of scrabble in their own way are as nourishing to the spirit as great cathedrals, ambles round one’s town or village as enriching as hikes over sublime mountains.

Following Jesus

At one of the Wednesday 10.15am Eucharists a latecomer turned out to be an Irish woman visiting Scotland with a school soccer team. She had mistaken All Soul’s for a Roman Catholic church, and little wonder, for it is a very Catholic looking church with its great stone Stations of the Cross. When I told her we were Episcopalian she said that as she had been led by Jesus to follow the spire, no matter! A woman of sound and inclusive faith.

Wasps and line dancing

At that time there were problems with wasps in the church hall. This was due, more than any-thing else, to necessary repair work being carried out which involved pulling off great patches of plaster for re-doing. The church and hall had been built in the days when plastering was an art form, long before innovations such as plaster board. Once the plaster had been chipped off, with great clouds of dust, narrow strips or laths of thin wood were revealed, upon which the plaster had to be reapplied in the ancient fashion. There was a space between the laths and the stone wall and somewhere in that space were wasp nests. We had had the poor creatures gassed and so the few that were still around were dozy and unaggressive. In spite of this, I had an irate leader of a Line Dancing group that used the hall on Monday nights ring me up complaining about them and suggesting a rebate on their fees. I was suitably defer-ential, apologetic and irenic in my response, but later learned that they hadn’t paid their fees for months and months, and seemed to be trying to wriggle out of doing so.

Snake skin trousers

Eventually, in order to prize the long overdue cheque from them, I had to go down to the hall when the Line Dancing was underway. I found it very interesting because I have never been attracted to line dancing or to Country and Western music and I thought it most odd that in a country that is the home of Scottish Country Dancing, which I love very much, so many folk should be devoted Line Dancers. When I arrived there were about fourteen middle-aged to elderly female dancers being called through a dance to the music of a melancholy country and western song. The caller of the dance was a smug, thuggish looking fellow with a head-set microphone to amplify his instructions. He was dressed in a black shirt, black snake-skin trousers and cowboy boots. However, the dancing, I was interested to note, was far more structured and intricate than I had thought, and I can see why people become so involved in it. It remains most emphatically not my scene though. Perhaps this is because I had my fill of cowboys when a little boy and also do not appreciate Country and Western music, but more probably because I like dancing to be a social exercise. Solo dancing, even of the Scottish sort, such as Highland Dancing, has little appeal to the likes of me. To each his taste though! I extracted a cheque from the cowboy in the snake skin trousers easily enough, with hypocritical affability.

The British workman

In early August, our last month in Scotland, we made our final major trip. Living in Galloway, in the South West corner of Scotland, is a very fine couple who used to reside in the parish of Highlands in Rhodesia when my father was Rector there. We arranged to go and stay with them for a night and so one morning headed down to Perth, then on to the road through, or rather past, Stirling to Glasgow. The road was a four lane highway all the way, and Stirling Castle, standing on its hill, looked formidable and impressive as we sped by. Driving right through Glasgow all on a motorway proved ridiculously easy, and was accomplished in less than fifteen minutes. We then headed towards Kilmarnock which we bypassed, likewise Prestwick and so eventually came to Ayr on the south west coast, the capital of Ayrshire and a fairly substantial city. Nothing much struck us as remarkable about it though. We parked near the city centre, found an Information Bureau and then walked down the main street for a while looking, as much as anywhere, for a place to have a Jimmy Riddle.

Eventually we entered a Littlewoods Store, the first I have ever been in, not at all upmarket. Margaret asked a woman assistant where the “Ladies” was, and was given directions in an unsympathetic and almost rude way, perhaps because ladies never enter such a store and are resented if they do. I made my way to the men’s (not gentlemen’s) and satisfactorily rendezvoused with Jimmy Riddle, after which I had to wait a fair while for les girls. They told me that of the toilets at the disposal of women (not ladies) one had been fouled a little, doubtless by a child caught short. This not altogether unusual occurrence seemed to be causing some consternation to women (let alone to ladies) but no one on the shop’s staff would clean it up. Their answer to the problem being to lock that particular loo, hence a queue. We went back to the car both relieved and amazed.

Cairn Holy Chambered Cairns

As is usual with me as driver, we then went to find the docks. I can never think of anywhere more interesting to sit and eat my lunch. However, even the docks proved less than satisfactory, being small, dirty and dominated by a great pile of squashed motor cars awaiting loading. So we headed out of town and found some lovely gardens alongside a river in which to eat our crisps, pork pies, tomatoes, rolls and yogurt. There we sat in a rose arbour, bathed in warm sunlight, before travelling on down the coast through several little towns and villages and stopping for an ice cream at the coastal village of Girvan. This was a lovely holiday spot with a round crag of an island offshore called Ailsa Craig and the Isle of Aran visible more distantly. As we left Girvan, climbing up to cross overland to the Solway Firth, I looked back briefly and thought I saw Ireland in the distance, but couldn’t be sure. This road across country to Newton Stewart proved to be a lovely drive, some of it through lush farmland, with copses of fine trees in the corners of fields and alongside streams and lots of old stone bridges to cross. Then there was higher country and miles of tree plantation before we descended to travel alongside the impressive Cree River and into the substantial town that is Newton Stewart. There we turned left along the A75 to find the abode of our friends, Paddy and Bunty Love, easy enough to find because in the grounds of their Kirkdale House are two ancient burial sites prominently signposted as “Cairn Holy Chambered Cairns”.

The beer of my youth

The Loves live in a large and elegant rented apartment made up of the west wing of Kirkdale House. Their apartment takes up two of the west wing’s three stories, the bottom one makes another apartment, inhabited by an octogenarian lady who was away when we were there, and who indeed spends most of the summer elsewhere. The east wing of the great house has been turned into another apartment, rented by Mr and Mrs Harvey, both of them ex Rhodesian friends of the Loves. Elizabeth and Rachel slept in one of their rooms. The central part of the huge and elegant eighteenth century stone mansion that is Kirkdale House forms the residence of the Laird, its owner, though I believe there is another apartment in the top storey.

The great house is in a most lovely setting at the bottom of its own estate and surrounded by woods of great trees that in early spring are carpeted with snowdrops, then daffodils, then blue bells and then rhododendrons. It overlooks the sea, and on clear days the Isle of Man can be seen. The Loves were not too different from when last I saw them in Rhodesia. Bunty has some sort of trouble with her eyes that prevents her from driving and Paddy, who is now 76, is white haired and has lost the sight in one eye through the bungling of a surgeon. After we arrived we went for a walk at the back of the mansion through beautiful woodland and out on to the fields of the estate that eventually pass on and up into heathered moorland. We had a look at the holy cairns, and then returned through slight drizzle. After a cup of tea and a chat I was able to taste the beer of my youth, Castle lager, and it tasted as good as ever, apparently South African made Castle can be bought in the local Safeway! We had a lovely evening meal of smoked salmon followed by chicken in tomato on rice, and then by rhubarb pie, fresh strawberries, cream and ice cream. All with a bottle of good wine and followed by cheese, port and finally tea.

Job Kekana

There was lots of reminiscing about St Mary’s choir, in Rhodesia during the nineteen sixties, and old parish identities. Paddy told me that I was the first man he ever saw with long hair, it was down to my shoulders he maintains, though I do not remember it being quite that long. He used to be head of Mardon Printers in Salisbury and so knew Ollie Lawton, the father of one of my old flames. Mr Lawton was a friend of Ben Gingell, the head of the publishing group Longman’s and who in turn was a friend and mentor of Job Kekana a truly fabulous wood carver from St Faith’s, Rusape in Rhodesia. The Love’s have an excellent head carved by Kekana, and with Gingell had donated a Kekana Madonna to the Abbey on Iona, though Paddy wasn’t sure that the Abbey authorities realised just what a privilege it was to be given such a piece.

Tom peeping

Margaret and I slept in a tiny room upstairs, me in a too soft fold up bed. I awoke with a bit of a headache, but not too bad and I made myself a cup of tea and then read more of Chesterton’s “The Man who was Thursday”, which gets better and better the more you get into it. Downstairs, at about 8.00am Bunty said that she had been expecting the girls to show up by then, so I went out and waved up at what I thought was their window and in which I could just detect movement. They told me later that I had been waving at the wrong window and it was Mrs Harvey who was on the move. Dangerous! I could have been prosecuted for Tom peeping or sexual harassment! (to be continued)

SMALL MERCIES

I was crook for most of last week with a violent stomach upset and far too much to do to give in to it. At times during a relentless Tuesday which began at about 5.00am and didn’t finish until 7.45pm I thought to myself, why am I doing this? But there were small compensations. The new printer/scanner ran out of ink and instead of replacing the cartridge at the cost of a ridiculous $47.00, I drew from my draw a little kit bought at Safeway for $18.00 and containing enough ink for four refills. I drilled a small hole in the old cartridge top, with a bit supplied in the kit, and then with the help of a provided syringe extracted ink and injected ink several times without a hitch. It works too. How satisfying to cock a snook at the dubious tactics of a huge multinational tempting folk to buy their hardware with absurdly cheap prices and then charging absurdly inflated prices to run them.

MARRIAGE

One of the troubles about modern marriage is that people constantly worry whether they are happy in it. By being married for 60 years, the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh remind us that it is possible to outlive this wearying question. I am sure they are happy, but the passage of time makes the precise state of a couple’s feelings less important than the grand and beautiful fact that they have endured. A single choice, long, long ago, has made them almost permanent, like part of a landscape. We should wish them the fate of Ovid’s old couple, Philemon and Baucis, who, when they died, were turned into trees whose boughs intertwined. Charles Moore “The Spectator”

CONGRATULATIONS

Birthdays

Joyce Auldrige. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Sunday 2^nd Dec

Lillian Walter. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Tues 4^th Dec

Elaine Brown. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wed 5^th Dec

Anniversaries

Betty & Barrie Pleming. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mon 3^rd Dec

CHRISTMAS ON YOUR OWN

If anyone is daunted by the thought of spending Christmas Day on their own, have a word with the clergy because a married couple has offered to share their Christmas Day meal with just such a person or two.

NATIVITY PLAY

Next Sunday, at Children’s Church, the children will be staging a simple Nativity Play at the 10.30 service. There is a rehearsal for this today during the 10.30 Eucharist.

OUTREACH - VOLUNTEERS

This week the December edition of “Outreach” containing a list of Christmas Services and the figures from the Stalls at the Fair should be ready for folding. Volunteers to help in this task, made light by many hands and amiable talk, please join us on Tuesday morning at 10.00am. We hope to have them ready for next Wednesday and Sunday attenders to take and then post the leftovers.

ST MARY’S KATANDRA PATRONAL FESTIVAL

All are invited to the St Mary’s Katandra Patronal Festival which takes place on Saturday 8^th of December at 8.00pm. Anyone who would like a lift with the Rector has only to ask, so do so, pleasant company on the way and even better when you get there!

ROSTERS

We will soon be doing the duty rosters for next year. If you wish to go on to or come off a roster please indicate this clearly on the sheets in the narthex if and when they are put out.

LECTIONARIES

Anyone who would like to purchase a Lectionary, please put your name on the list in the Narthex and signify which you want. The “New” is the one used for Sundays. The “Old” we use on weekdays.

CHARITY CARD SHOP

Please note that the card shop is now open and our own Anglicare Cards are on sale there. Please give this your support: Scots Church Hall, Fryers Street. Mon-Thurs from 9.30-4.30; Fri 9.30-6.00; Sat 9.30- noon.

PASTORAL CARE MEETING

There is a Pastoral Care meeting on Monday the 3^rd of December at 1.30pm in the Library.

ARISE 255/YOUTH SERVICE

The Covenant Players will join the Youth Group for a Youth Service on the 8^th December at 6.00pm it will include some imaginative drama. Please encourage the young and young at heart to come along.

PRAYER LIST

The Prayer List has been cleared and started again this week with the new month. Names of those requiring prayer need putting once more on the sheet.

CAROL SERVICE

The Carol Service this year is early, on Friday 14^th of December at 7.00pm. It is followed by drinks and nibbles in the narthex.

ADVENT STUDY

The Advent Study group meets in the Library on Thursday evenings at 7.30 pm.

DATES FOR THE DIARY

Dec 8^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Arise 255/Youth Service Covenant Players

Dec 8^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wedding 4.00pm

Dec 8^th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .St. Mary’s 8.00pm

Dec 11^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Grief Support/”Moving On”

Dec 14^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nine Lessons and Carols 7.00pm

Dec 18^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Baptism Preparation

Dec 24^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Children’s Christmas Eucharist 5.30pm

Dec 24^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Christmas Eucharist Katandra 8.00pm

Dec 24^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Midnight Mass 11.30pm (Carols at 11.00pm)

Dec 25^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Christmas Eucharists 8.45 Dookie

Dec 25^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Xmas Eucharists 8.30am & 10.30am St A’s

REQUESTS FOR PRAYER

At the beginning of each month this list is cleared and ALL names need putting down again on the list in the narthex and signed in. No names should be listed without a person’s permission.

Tony Armstrong, Liam Bognar, Nicky Cavill, Emmie Dean, John Green, Pat Griffin, Kath Grills, Frank Harder, Sam Martin, Denise McKellar, John Moore, Margaret Neaum, Margaret Noble, Reg Oxenford, Jan Riches, Pam Thomson, Lorraine Vogul, David, Glenda, Peter, David & Judith, Roslyn, Maureen. Myra, David.

Anniversary of death

Edith Waite, Zaidee Turner 2^nd Georgie Gribble, June Kemp, Marie Peoples 3^rd, Yvonne Guthrie 4^th, Joseph Lidgard 5^th, Bertha Nelson 6^th, Marj Gash, Keith Howlett 7^th, Francis Burgman, Marjorie Green 8^th.

Duties for 2^nd December 2007

Vigil Eucharist at 6pm 1^st . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Andrew Neaum

Celebrant 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Andrew Neaum

Celebrant 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Gail Bryce

Celebrant 8.45 St. Luke’s Dookie. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Gail Bryce

Celebrant 10.45 St. Mary’s Katandra. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Andrew Neaum

Readers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Heather Pearson, Jeanette Smith

Readers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Volunteer, Charlotte Brewer

Servers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Volunteer, Michelle, Beth

Servers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jenny, Tom, Bethany

Intercessors. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Carole Henderson, Mary Pearson

Euc. Assts 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Carole Henderson, Bev Condon

Euc. Assts 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jenny Pleming, Ian Bryce

Welcoming 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Judy Lloyd, Heather Pearson

Welcomers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Jenny Moran, Charlotte Brewer

Sidespeople 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Merv Cowland, Gwyn Cowland

Sidespeople 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Charlotte Brewer, John Pleming

Tea 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Val Bambrook

Welcome Tbl . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Judy Lloyd

Mowing 1^st . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Margaret Carroll & Brendan Carroll

Duties for 9^th December 2007

Vigil Eucharist at 6pm 8^th Dec . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Andrew Neaum

Celebrant 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Gail Bryce

Celebrant 10.30/Baptisms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gail Bryce

Celebrant 8.45 St. Luke’s Dookie. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Andrew Neaum

Celebrant 10.45 St. Mary’s Katandra. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .No Service

Readers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Liz Gyles, Celebrant

Readers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Jenny Moran, Chris Evans

Servers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Michelle, Beth, Volunteer

Servers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Peter Lear, Sophie, Ben

Intercessors. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bev Condon, Children

Euc. Assts 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ian Bryce, John Griffin

Euc. Assts 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Chris Evans, Carole Henderson

Welcoming 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Jeanette Berry, Anita Saville

Welcomers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Substitute for Roz, Frank Steen

Sidespeople 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Max Ralph, Bev Ralph

Sidespeople 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Alan Akers, Nola Brewer

Tea 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Val Rose

Welcoming Table. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Heather Carlyon

Mowing 24^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kay McGregor, Merv Cowland

THIS WEEK IN THE PARISH

Monday 3^rd December Francis Xavier

Rector’s Day off

7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel

1.30pm Pastoral Care Meeting - Library