TWENTY FIFTH SUNDAY AFTER PENTECOST
2nd November 2008
Graphics and cartoons & liturgical material appear only in the printed version
From the book "Scorn with Extra Bile
by Matthew Parris (Editor)
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being pecked to death by ducks.
He's the kind of man who ends up dying in his own arms.
The town Erith isn't twinned with anywhere, but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham. Linda Smith
George Galloway on Christopher Hitchens... He "made natural history by metamorphosing from a butterfly into a slug".
USELESS BUT INTERESTING INFORMATION
Cold turkey is so called because of the piloerection-the gooseflesh-that is a sign of withdrawal from opiates, and "I'm turkeying" is a common way for addicts to describe their condition. In England they also say, mixing their avian metaphors, that they're "clucking" or "doing their cluck." Strictly speaking they should be gobbling, or doing their gobble.
The secret of staying young is mixing with older people. I've been young all my life simply by being Anglican. For over 60 years the majority of parishioners have been older than me. (AN)
Forrest Gump died and went to Heaven. At the mythical Pearly Gates, he found the gates closed and so he approached St. Peter the gate keeper who said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. However, I have to tell you that this place is filling up fast, and so we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven." Forrest responded, "It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was." St. Peter continued, 'Yes, I know Forrest, but the test is only three questions. First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T? Second: How many seconds are there in a year? Third: What is God's first name?" Forrest departed for a while to think the questions over. He returned the next day and saw St. Peter, who waved him up, and said, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, give me your answers" Forrest replied, 'Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begin with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow. "The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" he asked. "How many seconds in a year?" Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve." Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve Forrest, how in Heaven' name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?" Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd..." "Hold it," interrupted St. Peter. "I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"? ""Sure," Forrest replied, "it's Andy." "Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter. "Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?" "Shucks sir, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song: "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own." St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: "Run Forrest, run."
How often have you heard someone say: "I'm not a religious person but I am deeply spiritual"? In my experience, this is a reliable indication that I'm about to be bored senseless. What it means is: "I'm not religious, but I am deeply gullible, a sucker for New Age fads - and picky about food." Such people are closer to being pantheists than atheists. They deify the planet, the cosmos, "Native American wisdom" - and themselves. Spirituality is usually shorthand for believing anything rather than nothing..... Damian Thompson book review 23 October 2008
I love the "Simpsons". It is a show that is so clever it helps remind its devotees to discount most of the stupid, ill-informed criticism of and condescension to America and American culture which so dominates our media as well as the conversation of too many folk we meet. Here is just part of an old review from my files of "The Simpsons: A Complete Guide to Our Favourite Family, created by Matt Groening,". The book is edited by Ray Richmond and Antonia Coffman and the review is by George Walden ..... (AN)
Catching up in America on The Simpsons, I relished the following exchange between mother Marge (described in this book's cast of characters as "the thread that holds the Simpson family together") and her solemn and brainy eight-year-old daughter, Lisa (its "moral centre and middle child"):
Marge (flattering herself): You know, you and I are the intellectuals of this family. We have that rapport.
Lisa: Thank you, mom, for not dumbing down the word rapport.
"The Simpsons" is the opposite of a dumbed-down programme. In addition to Marge and Lisa are father Homer ("worker drone" at a nuclear power plant, and winner of "high school reunion trophies for most weight gained, most hair lost, most improved odour, and person who has travelled least distance"); son Bart ("Devious, underachieving, school-hating, irreverent, and clever"); plus the "pacifier-sucking" baby, Maggie. The screenplay, a mixture of the demotic and the surreal, is studded with cinematic, historical and literary references, verbal and visual. When things are moving fast, it can be like trying to keep pace with four Rory Bremners. This book helps us catch up. Part users' manual, part self-guying fanzine ("don't worry, this isn't one of those cheapo, cash-in, whip it out, crummy guides to popular TV shows"), it is written as a mock study aid, and includes "show highlights", plot summaries, the best jokes and "stuff you may have missed".
The dialogue, written by some of the brightest products of America's best universities, is a hilarious mixture of high and low styles. When a character called Otto gets his comeuppance, and Bart asks "Where's Otto?", the reply comes: "Otto? That's one palindrome you won't be hearing for a while." (I can see a BBC producer dumbing-down that "palindrome".) At a weekend retreat for reconciling broken families, a couple bait each other mercilessly in a sequence based on "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" And when Marge and Lisa sit in on an English class at a school, the scriptwriters have silent fun with Keats, and aesthetic theory:
Eager Pupil: Truth is beauty, beauty truth, Sir!
Lisa: They're discussing poetry! Oh, we never do that at my school.
Teacher: But the truth can be harsh and disturbing. How can that be considered beautiful?
Marge: Well, they sure sucked the fun out of that poem.
"The Simpsons" is red meat to cultural commentators and politicians. When President Bush castigated the show for portraying America as one big dysfunctional family, he was, in a narrow, politician's sense, right. Yet the same show is a celebration of the sheer profusion of America - its minute-to-minute self-awareness, the vitality of its visual imagination, its linguistic exuberance. Although Homer and Marge are identifiable social types - the middle-aged loser and his dumbly loyal wife - there are none of the class preoccupations that cramp so much of English TV comedy and culture, from "Upstairs Downstairs" to "A Dance to the Music of Time". Ironically, if there is one stereotype, it is the English. Millicent, riding instructress at the Grateful Gelding Stables, says at a sad moment: "Although there is no change in my patrician facade, I can assure you my heart is breaking."
Popular culture is 95 per cent trash. But then, so much middlebrow culture (Jane Austen costume drama) and what passes for fine art (the Royal Academy) is pretty worthless, too. So you treasure that five per cent, because in America, as in Britain, that is where a good deal of the wit, intelligence and creativity has migrated. Do the Simpsons work in book form? Sometimes not: even Matt Groening, their creator, is subject to the laws of comedy. Their natural medium is television, an inherently playful medium which finds it difficult to be grave. The book is entertaining, but one of the most brilliant TV shows ever made belongs where it was born - on the screen.
The Right Reverend John Parkes has been elected the 10th Bishop of Wangaratta. He is at present Dean of Brisbane and assistant bishop. He is to be installed at the Cathedral in Wangaratta on Saturday the 13th of December at 11am.
Bishop John was born and educated in England gaining his LLB from Sheffield University. He moved to Australia in his early 20's becoming a barrister and later a solicitor in a Sydney legal firm.
In 1989 he completed his Bachelor of Theology at St Mark's in Canberra graduating with first class honours. He then started what would become a life long passion for the bush serving the Church in Orange, Wellington and Young before moving to South Canberra as Archdeacon and eventually being appointed the Diocesan Archdeacon.
In 1998 he accepted the role of Rector of All Saints at Ainslie, a high church parish which my daughters Elizabeth and Rachel attended while they were in Canberra, though not when John Parkes was Rector. He served there for five years.
In 2004 he was appointed Dean of Brisbane accountable to the Archbishop for all aspects of the life and work of the Cathedral. In this role Bishop Parkes managed the completion project for St John's Cathedral, apparently the last great neo-gothic cathedral project under construction in the world.
Under his leadership the Cathedral is now virtually complete thanks in part to the $18 million raised during his incumbency. Another highlight of his time in Brisbane has been his role as Commissary for the Archbishop during his travels as Primate of the Anglican Church of Australia.
Bishop John has said that he is humbled by the invitation of the Anglicans of the Wangaratta Diocese to become their bishop and was greatly looking forward to this next exciting and challenging phase in his journey in ministry.
He has a wife called Margaret and two adult children, Nell and James. Among his hobbies are motor bike riding, fly fishing and choral singing. He is a capable and engaging man, a liberal catholic in churchmanship, though he would probably disdain the classification and emphatically supportive of the ordination of women to the threefold ministry of the Church.
Birthdays
Anita Saville 5th Nov
Kath Grills 8th Nov
Anniversaries
Norm & Rosemary Mitchelmore 6th Nov
Charles & Iris Grant 7th Nov
PARISH FAIR
AND GARDEN PARTY
On the long list of prospective Shepparton City Councillors there is just one who is a practising member of St Augustine's. He is Marty Richardson. Married here some time ago he was a thoughtful member of our last Lenten Study Group, and his first and very lovely little daughter is to be baptised here on the 23rd of November. He hasn't asked me to commend him, but in my view he is surely worth serious consideration.
In the last issue of this most illustrious of all Shepparton weekly publications we asked if anyone would like to donate old tools for our new shed which has a bench, vice and anvil to enable us to do maintenance and repair work. Many thanks to Elizabeth Chambers who has donated a most wonderful collection to us, we are delighted with it.
The Melbourne Cup holiday means that there will be no "Simply Soul Soothing" this Tuesday. The holiday will suffice to soothe most of us. Punters can get excited.
Pastoral Care workers and all volunteer office staff, as well as anyone else at all interested are urged to attend on Thursday Nov. the 6th at 2.00pm in the Narthex, a talk by Glenn Canning on "Looking out for signs of Depression, Mental Illness, Suicide, Angry Clients and Burnout." Both of these are essential for Pastoral Care Workers and the second for Parish Office minders.
NO CATECHESIS ON MONDAY
Because Monday the 3rd of November is a school holiday there will be no Catechesis of the Good Shepherd on that day.
We need a supply of wire coat hangers for use at the fair if you have any spare please bring them to the office. Thanks
ARISE 255/YOUTH GROUP
Monday November 3rd 5-7pm
St. Augustine's Fair is only a few days away so we will spend the night making treats to sell at the fair and looking at special party times in the Bible
DATES FOR THE DIARY
Nov 3rd Arise 255/Youth Group
Nov 6th Mental Illness Awareness Talk/Glenn Canning
Nov 8th Parish Fair
Nov 11th "Moving On" Grief Support
Nov 15th Mens Breakfast
Nov 17th Arise 255/Youth Group
Nov 18th Friendship Group 2pm/Library
Nov 19th Parish Council
Nov 20th Evening Guild / Narthex
Nov 22nd Wedding 2pm
Nov 23rd David & Ruth Bryce/Preaching at St. Aug
Nov 29th Garden Working Bee
Dec 1st Arise 255/Youth Group
Dec 15th Arise 255/Youth Group
Dec 17th Parish Council
Dec 19th Carol Service
Dec 24th Children's Crib Service & Eucharist
Dec 24th Midnight Mass Eucharist
READINGS for 9th November
Joshua 24:1-3a & 14-25: Thessalonians 4:9-18
At the beginning of each month this list is cleared and ALL names need putting down again on the list in the narthex and signed in. No names should be listed without a person's permission. The list for names of those to be prayed for is kept in the top drawer of the little plastic box of drawers on the narthex table.
Alison Baldwin, Liam Bognar, Kylie Butterfield, Nicky Cavill, Beryl & Richard Goodfellow, John Green, Frank Harder, Sophie Mould, Laura McKinnis, Margaret Neaum, Margaret Noble, Jan Riches, Kevin Richards, Peter & Eva Swindells, Lorraine Vogul, David, Tom, Glenda.
Anniversary of death: Philip Clayton, George Petts 2nd, Marie Peoples, June Kemp 3rd, Ken Watts, Annie Hamilton 4th, Charles Govan-Smith, Elsie Steen, Robert Cole 5th, Jessie Mitchelmore, William Elliott 6th, Doreen Hamer 7th, Valerie Church 8th.
Duties for 2nd November 2008
Readers 8.30 Heather Pearson, Jeanette Smith
Readers 10.30 Jenny Moran, Verna Pestell
Servers 8.30 Beth, Michelle
Servers 10.30 Volunteers
Intercessors Pat Griffin, Bev Condon
Euc. Assts 8.30 Ian Bryce, John Griffin
Euc. Assts 10.30 Ian Bryce, Greg Pestell
Welcoming 8.30 Heather Nichols, Beryl Goodfellow
Welcomers 10.30 Nola Brewer
Sidespeople 8.30 Bob Galt, Norm Mitchelmore
Sidespeople 10.30 John Pleming, Charlotte Brewer
Tea 8.30 Pat Griffin
Welcoming Table Margaret Hoare
Mowing 1st Norm Mitchelmore, Michael Egan
Duties for 9th November 2008
Readers 8.30 Jeanette Smith, Gwyn Cowland
Readers 10.30 Joan McCann, Christine Evans
Servers 8.30 Michelle, Beth
Servers 10.30 Peter, Helen, Tom
Intercessors Celebrant, Children
Euc. Assts 8.30 `Heather Fitzgerald
Euc. Assts 10.30 Bev Condon, Christine Evans
Welcoming 8.30 Erma Wilson, Heather Pearson
Welcomers 10.30 Jenny Moran, Charlotte Brewer
Sidespeople 8.30 Bev Ralph, Max Ralph
Sidespeople 10.30 Alan Akers, Nola Brewer
Tea 8.30 Gwyn Cowland
Welcoming Table Dorothy Cook
Mowing 8th Kay McGregor, Merv Cowland
THIS WEEK IN THE PARISH
Monday 3rd November (Rector's Day off)
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
4.00pm o Catechesis of the Good Shepherd !!!!!!!
5.00pm Arise 255/Youth Group
Tuesday 4th November
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
12.15pm No Simply Soul Soothing !!!!!!!!!!!!
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
Wednesday 5th November
7.45am Mattins only - Lady Chapel
10.00am Eucharist - St Augustine's
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
Thursday 6th November
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
9.30am Tarcoola Eucharists
11.00am Eucharist Harmony
2.00pm Mental Awareness talk
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
5.30pm Choir Practice
Friday 7th November
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
9.00am Catechesis of Good Shepherd (Lady Chapel)
11.00am Mercy Centre
Saturday 8th November PARISH FAIR (Associate Priest's Day off)
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel Trad Rite
6.00pm Vigil Eucharist
Sunday 9th November
8.30am Sung Eucharist - St Augustine's
10.30am Family Eucharist/Children's Church
8.45am Eucharist - Dookie
10.45am Eucharist - Katandra