4 January 2009 Second Sunday after Christmas

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SECOND SUNDAY AFTER CHRISTMAS

4^thJanuary 2009

Graphics and cartoons & liturgical material appear only in the printed version

CONVERSION

An Irishman turned up one day recently at a pub in Ireland and ordered three beers. He took them to a seat, set them down and polished them all off drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished them, he came back to the bar and ordered three more. The bartender, a friendly and helpful fellow, said to him , “You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time.” The Irishman replied, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other is in Australia, and I’m in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days we drank together. So I drink one for each o’ me brothers and one for me self.” The bartender admitted that this was a nice custom, and left it there. The Irishman became a regular in the bar, and always drank the same way. He ordered three pints and drank them, sip by sip altogether. One day, he came in and ordered two pints. All the other regulars took notice and fell silent. When he came back to the bar for the second round, the bartender said, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I would like to offer my condolences on your loss.” The Irishman looked quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawned and he laughed. “Oh, no, everybody’s just fine”. He explained, “It’s just that me wife had us join that Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. Hasn’t affected me brothers though.

STOCKHAUSEN

The cartoon on the front page of this pew sheet (only the print version) refers to Karlheinz Stockhausen, an avant garde composer who died in 2007. His music, though widely influential and admired by the knowledgeable (and pretentious) is largely unlistenable to by those of us who love melody and beauty in music. Sir Thomas Beecham when asked “Have you heard any Stockhausen?” is alleged to have replied, “No, but I believe I have trodden in some”.

INTERCEDING

Andrew Neaum

When I visit strange churches it is not usually the Sermon that is the most long-winded and unbearable of offerings to be endured. It is the Intercessions. In many churches they have been handed over to long-winded, repetitious and tendentious pew-sitters who have a row to hoe and a wheel-barrow to push! One is asked to say “Amen” to political views one doesn’t hold, to offer to God aspirations and desires one doesn’t share, and not infrequently is expected to demand of God signs and wonders of a sort that only an “evil and adulterous generation” hankers after.

Intercessors need to note that “Common prayer” needs to be general and inclusive. If everyone is to say “Amen” or “....hear our prayer” to prayers offered in church, there is no room for party-political manifestos, idiosyncratic theological opinions, individualistic and self-indulgent blather or showing off! The prayers have to be such as can be offered by everyone present. They can be heartfelt and modestly eloquent, but they must also be general, considered and reasonably simple. The place for individualistic, partizan or deeply personal praying is not public worship, it is for one’s private devotions or perhaps a small prayer group.

However, there is a difficult balance to keep. Public intercessors can be too general and so fall into bland moral posturing, a point made well by the cynical, sceptical but often refreshingly profound prison doctor and columnist who writes under the nom de plume “Theodore Dalrymple”.

Occasionally I walk home from the prison. Usually I take a taxi. Very rarely indeed do I drive; I don’t much care for parking within a mile radius of an establishment from which car thieves are released daily.

I turned on the wireless and an unctuously sermonising Church of England voice emerged. ‘We pray for our world,’ it said, ‘especially those parts of it afflicted with violence.’ I thought for a moment that he was referring to the bed-sits and housing estates near my home, as well as the casualty department of my hospital. But he wasn’t, of course.

‘We pray for the Middle East. We pray for the hostages, and for the hostage-takers.’ I turned off the wireless with a gesture of disgust; you speak for yourself, I thought. Then I made up a little prayer of my own as I drove over the speed-bumps that make kerb-crawlers of us all.

‘We pray for the burgled and the burglars. We pray for the mugged and the muggers. We pray for the safe-deposit box holder and the safe-breakers. We pray for the blackmailed and the blackmailers. We pray for the beaten wife and the wife-beaters. We pray for the murdered and the murderers.’ In fact, we pray for just about everyone, the taxpayer and the tax-collector, the wall-cleaner and the graffiti-artist, the house seller and the estate agent, the debtor and the loan shark. ‘Blessed are the vandals, for they shall inherit the telephone booths.’

Of course, I try to take the larger, all-compassionate view, to be as forgiving as the man who murdered his girlfriend and said, ‘I’ve made amends, I don’t hate her no more,’ but try as I might, my prejudices keep breaking through ......

How right he is to mock easy, platitudinous, generalised and soppy benevolence that is not so much prayer as empty, pious posturing!

The Intercessions composed for each Sunday Eucharist at St Augustines are done so thoughtfully and carefully. They are sometimes a little too convoluted and certainly always need careful reading if they are to be understood and therefore offered by all. There is a copy of them available for the intercessor each week on the small wooden table by the church entrance. They are usually available by Friday each week.

Intercessors are welcome to add to or replace those composed for each Sunday, but only carefully, thoughtfully and inclusively. As well, do please observe the invitation to pause at the end of each intercession. Indeed, give us a good ten or twenty seconds to make the prayer our own before we join together to say, “hear our prayer.”

GOLDEN BELLS AND POMEGRANATES (10)

Canon David Neaum 1912-2001

It was in the very early days of our stay on the island of Tristan da Cunha that two of the young men asked me if I would like to go with them to Sandy Point (on the East of the island) to collect their dinghy. “How do we get there?” I asked. “Oh, we walk. It is a nice easy walk” they answered. We arranged for them to call for me at 7.00am the next day. “What about food?” I asked. “No worry”, they said. “we’ll use some of the store left in the huts there.”

The ugly road

I was getting myself a little breakfast when they turned up at 6.30 the next morning. They wouldn’t stay for a bite and told me not to bother as it would not take long to get there. As I stuffed a pack of biscuits in my pocket we left for the unknown. Up till then I had not seen a detailed map of the island. Had I seen one I should have noticed that the path we were about to take was named ‘The Ugly Road’ - but ignorance is bliss we are told.

We walked over the black sands of ‘Big Beach’ and then the path climbed up 1,500 feet, a mere goat track, up and down, up and down, skirting precipices - for ever! The lads were very patient. By about 9.30 we were at the turning of the Big Bluff - the last spot that could be seen from the village. Here they stopped and lit a small smoky fire to let their folk know we had arrived. Then we walked on until we came to a huge rock face at about 45 degrees - smooth as a baby’s head - with a scree below just above a 1,500 feet drop into the sea. They, in their home-made mocassins, just walked across it. I quivered and went across with feet, seat and hands all in contact with the rock. So we continued until the path vanished into the mountain side leaving a gap about 8 feet wide with nothing below but broken rocks washed by the sea - a long long way below. Knocked into the mountain side were three bolts and three small cut-outs for footholds. I knew that I dare not cross the gap, but I knew also that if I didn’t I may as well return to England. So I crossed, losing about 5 kilograms weight in fright. Shortly after, we were going down hill and came out on a rocky beach. “Are we nearly there?” I asked. “Yes, Father,” they replied. So we stopped for a biscuit and cigarette. It was 12.30pm.

From there we walked along beaches of huge pebbles, “It used to be sand,” they told me. At the end of each beach we climbed a bluff of broken rock, one, two, three, four hundred feet up and down. The wind covered my specs with salt, but fatigue was forgotten as a huge whale and calf swam along at our pace and close to the shore, the calf flipping over and under its mother.

At about 3.00pm we faced a bluff higher than those surmounted so far and I was whacked. Weary, hungry and thirsty, I sat on a rock and we had a smoke-o. Then Ernest said, “You have a little rest Father with Harold, while I go on and get something ready to eat”. After a short rest Harold and I set off to the top of the bluff and there, facing us, was a huge stretch of smooth sand. We had arrived! “Where are the huts?” I asked. “Up there, Father” said Harold. Looking up I saw two tiny huts on the ‘Base’, 2000 feet up. We got there. Below us was a deep gully filled with trees, an apple orchard and a huge vine that covered an acre, but no one ever tasted any grapes as the rats got there first. Just before 4.00pm I sat on a bench and we had a bully-beef stew with tinned vegetables. “Plenty more” said Ernest as we sat replete.

A beautiful dunny

The view was magnificent, but the toilet even better. A path wandered through the thick bush and at its end was a small shed with no door and a view to take one’s breath away. At a bend in the path was a wooden notice with ‘Occupied’ on one side and ‘Empty’ on the other. This acted as a door.

Hearing a slight noise of rattling pot and pan while having our smoke I wondered if someone lived in the second hut. No! Our plates and the pan, half filled with stew, were as clean as could be when we went to wash up. The rats had also had their meal!

Refreshed and happy we walked down to the beach, found the dinghy and carried it the half mile to the sea. The breakers were some 2 metres high. “Can we launch it in this?” I asked. “That’s for you to say, Father” was the reply. “Would you launch it if I weren’t here?” I asked. “Oh No!” they replied, “We should be turned over and swamped. We never set off from here, its too risky”. We carried the dinghy back to the foot of the cliff and went back up to the huts to stay the night and see what the morning brought.

At 2 a.m. I was wakened by a torch shining into my eyes. It was one of the lads from the village who had set off after the dance at midnight and taken under 2 hours to cover the same ground that had taken me nearly 10 hours. He had a cup of cocoa and then set off on his return, telling us that a longboat would meet us where we had come down to the sea. So morning came and the walk over the beaches and bluffs was most enjoyable after rest and a good breakfast There, at 9.30a.m. as arranged, the longboat picked us up to return us to civilisation.

I used an account of my trip along “The Ugly Road” in my two hundred and twenty two talks given during our nine months in England after our return and it made a good twenty minute talk. We were also asked to go on the BBC Show, “In Town Tonight” and the producer wanted to use the story too, but said it must take only one and three quarter minutes. “Impossible” I told him. But it wasn’t! We were drilled by him from 5.30p.m. to midnight and by that time he had all our stories reduced to 13 minutes. It made me think that parsons are a bit long winded sometimes.

To Nightingale Island

Before taking our ‘walk’ it had been arranged that a good half of the Islanders should go on their annual visit to Nightingale Island to collect eggs, fat and guano on the first day the wind was right, and I was to go with them. The day of my return was the right day. I had had all necessary clothes and food ready at home and found that these had been collected so that the ‘rescue’ boat never even landed at the settlement; instead there was a distant, rather annoyed wife standing on the beach seeing her rescued husband being taken off into the unknown without even a goodbye kiss.

However, I could do nothing about it (the wind rules all on Tristan) and we rowed hard to get round the point of the island to catch the wind. To our right was Inaccessible Island like a huge whale, all of it 2000 ft. above sea level, and thirty five miles away the lower twin peaks of Nightingale. My boat team had brought along the ‘Father’s rifle’ - an old 303 which resided at the Chaplain’s house “to shoot any sharks that came too close”, I was told. I looked at the canvas skin of the boat with some trepidation - what could a shark’s fin do with that, I pondered.

The longboats were about twenty eight feet long and had a crew of eight men with four passengers - in our case all men. Up went the sail and immediately I began to feel queasy. Lime juice was pressed on me as an antidote, but it didn’t work so I sat in the stern with eyes closed and they all thought I was asleep. How much I then learned about their ‘courting’ hopes: I soon knew which lad had hopes with which girl! Later, when the wind dropped and rowing had to take the place of sail, I felt better and we had tremendous fun as I re-told their talk, to their dismay. They were all good- humoured about it and it began a confidence with the younger men that lasted all the time we were on the island. (To be continued)

WELCOME

We welcome Bishop John Parkes and Margaret his wife to our parish today, their first visit as our Bishop and wife. It is very good to be able to welcome him so soon after his installation.

CONGRATULATIONS

Birthdays

Jeanette Smith. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Sunday 4^th Jan

Bev Martin. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tuesday 6^th Jan

Emmie Dean. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Friday 9^th Jan

CHRISTIAN MEDITATION

There are Christian meditation sessions on Mondays at 7.30pm in the Den during January. This afternoon until Tuesday evening, the Labyrinth is available in the hall for the use of the discerning, meditative or curious.

UNSOOTHED

Please note that there will be no “Simply Soul Soothing in January.”

DUTY ROSTERS

Duty rosters for the next six months are available in the narthex. Please help yourself.

CHRISTMAS AGAIN

On Wed. the 7^th of Jan. at 8.00pm we celebrate the Orthodox Christmas with our Macedonian brothers and sisters. All are welcome to attend and enjoy a celebration of Christmas without the commercialism that so easily ruins our Western Christian celebrations.

EMAIL ADDRESSES PLEASE

If you are happy to give us your email address, please email it to the Parish Office.

JANUARY

January is likely to be a quiet month with many of our normal activities in recess. However the Parish Office will be attended for much of the time by volunteers this week and as normal thereafter.

DATES FOR THE DIARY

Jan 13^th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Children’s Church

Jan 27^th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Baptisms

READINGS for 11^th January

Genesis 1:1-5, Acts 19:1-7

REQUESTS FOR PRAYER

At the beginning of each month this list is cleared and ALL names need putting down again on the list in the narthex and signed in. No names should be listed without a person’s permission. The list for names of those to be prayed for is kept in the top drawer of the little plastic box of drawers on the narthex table.

Alison Baldwin, Liam Bognar, Betty Brereton, Kylie Butterfield, Barbara Carlyon, Nicky Cavill, Richard Goodfellow, John Green, Frank Harder, Sophie Mould, Margaret Neaum, Margaret Noble, Erol Noonan, Jan Riches, Kevin Richards, Peter & Eva Swindells, Heather Vines, Lorraine Vogul, Tracey, William, David, Brigid, Carolyn, Hilary, Nathan & Jayden, Frank, Rae & Kevin, Glenda, Amanda & Michael.

Rest in Peace: Dorothy Allan

Anniversary of death: Nancy Davis, Linda Maskell 5^th, Doris Woodcock, Lesley Rankin 6^th, Dorothy Young, Frances McKendry, Catherine Lawrence 8^th, Edyth Akers, Annie McPhail 9^th, Jillian Bradford, Emily Pleming 11^th.

Duties for 4^th January 2009

Readers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Norm Weaver, Carole Henderson

Readers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Charlotte Brewer, Christine Jones

Servers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Beth, Michelle

Servers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Helen, Joan, Tom

Intercessors. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Heather Carlyon, Nancy Noonan

Euc. Assts 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . John Griffin, Ian Bryce

Euc. Assts 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Christine Evans, Greg Pestell

Welcoming 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Judy Lloyd, Pat Griffin

Welcomers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nola Brewer, Frank Steen

Sidespeople 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Bob Galt, Norm Mitchelmore

Sidespeople 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Alan Akers, Nola Brewer

Tea 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Val Rose

Welcoming Table. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dorothy Cook

Mowing 3^rd . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Not this week

Duties for 11^th January 2009

Readers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jeanette Smith, Pat Griffin

Readers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Nancy Noonan, Christine Evans

Servers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Michelle, Beth

Servers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Peter Lear, Dale Wells and Aaron

Intercessors. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Carole Henderson, Children

Euc. Assts 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Carole Henderson, Bev Condon

Euc. Assts 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Christine Evans, Greg Pestell

Welcoming 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Joy Campbell, Eileen Quaife

Welcomers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Charlotte Brewer, Sandra Simonis

Sidespeople 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Trevor Batey, Joy Campbell

Sidespeople 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Charlotte Brewer, John Pleming

Tea 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Bev Reither

Welcoming Table. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dorothy Cook

Mowing 17^th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .John Pleming and Rick Coates

THIS WEEK IN THE PARISH

Monday 5^th December Rector’s day off

7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel