SECOND SUNDAY OF EASTER
11th April 2010
Graphics and cartoons & liturgical material appear only in the printed version
THE COST OF TEMERITY
In the greatest days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to a jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel. After welcoming his replacement and showing the courtesies that the protocol decrees (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches), the retiring colonel said, “you must meet Captain Smithers, my right-hand man. By Jove, he is really the strength of this office. His talent is simply boundless.” Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO. He was surprised to meet a limping, stooped, toothless, hairless, scabbed and pock-marked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man less than four feet tall. “Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself.” “Well, sir, I graduated with honours from Sandhurst, joined the regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions behind enemy lines. I have represented Great Britain in equestrian events and won a Silver Medal in the middle-weight division of the Olympic boxing. I have researched the history of.....” Here the colonel interrupted. Never mind that, Smithers. The CO can find all that in your file. Tell him about the day you told the witch doctor to go jump in a dung pit and drown himself or you’d beat the living daylights out of him.”
THIS AND THAT
Andrew Neaum
A friend told me last week of yet another trip he is soon to make to places of great historical interest to him, namely the Holy Land and then Istanbul, Egypt and Rome. “Hmm,” I said, “it is odd when you think about it that I myself should be travelling thousands of miles to visit only where I have already been, instead like you of exploring new places of historical or geographical interest. Could it be that I am so egomanic that there is no history I am interested in except my own?” He refrained from agreeing with me and instead charitably said “not at all, you need to go and visit your past....” Hmmm. Why though?
Bitter little atheists
Some weeks ago I wrote a small piece entitled “Atheist Chic”. It was prophetic, for on Tuesday Robert McClean in the Shepparton News jumped on the now fashionable atheist bandwagon, not particularly coherently I thought, but beating the atheist drum with some enthusiasm. Had he read my article it might have cleared his head a little. Perhaps he had read it and his article was in response to it. I doubt it.
The opposition to Christianity in the western world is gathering momentum. There has been another rumble in Britain over employers objecting to their employees wearing crucifixes. This fashionable atheism is a case of biting the hand that has fed you. Christianity is a fundamental foundation stone of western civilization and so even when it is rejected it should be treated with gratitude and respect.
The next author likely to be feted, cited, paraded and fundamentally misunderstood by our pettifogging, secular, atheist chic media- pundits is sure to be Phillip Pullman. He is a highly praised and very intelligent children’s author and has just published a book called, The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ. The title gives a lot away. The line taken in the book will be not dissimilar to that taken by several 19th century “Lives” of Christ which attempted to free the “historical Jesus” from all the claims laid upon him by an “evil” Church.
The Archbishop of Canterbury, a man of broad sympathies and great charity is an admirer of the atheist Phillip Pullman and has written a very perceptive and largely sympathetic review of this book in the Guardian. This is likely to be a far better and more illuminating guide to the book than anything written by bitter atheists. I will leave some copies of Williams’ review on the Narthex table. He begins his review by reminding us that on the back of the book is printed in large capital letters, "THIS IS A STORY". It's worth remembering that emphatic statement as you read the book, he continues, this is not a speculation about the beginnings of Christianity, a claim to have uncovered the real, suppressed history of Jesus. It is a fable through which Philip Pullman reflects on Jesus, on the tensions and contradictions of organised religion – and indeed on the nature of storytelling.....
The mystery of happiness
I read a most interesting little piece on the Great Depression in the latest Spectator. It is in the Australian section and is by Peter Coleman as follows: There are two views of the great Depression. Some recall it as an era of misery, humiliation and pain. For others it was the happiest time of their lives. The first sense of it is reflected by lefty novelists, film-makers and historians, by Noel Counihan’s paintings and George Finey’s cartoons of the unemployed fossicking for food in rubbish tins. It is the majority view. The other perspective comes out more in oral history as reflected, for example in David Potts’s scholarly “The Myth of the Great Depression”. It was the great period of making do, a return to pre-industrial, pre-consumerist values, to chooks in the backyard, soup bones, vegetable patches, rabbiting, jam sandwiches, shoes made from old tyres, pots from kerosene tins, patched trousers, community singing, billy carts and the butchers’ picnic - an age of thrift, stoicism and all the non-material pleasures of life beyond the rat race.
Both these approaches appear in the new exhibition “Skint” in the Museum of Sydney. But its main emphasis is on the hurt and disruption. This seems to me right. Once the good times returned, most people, by now sick of making do, were quick to rejoin the rat race. Not everybody. The anti-consumerist, pre-industrial ethos has a long record in Australia. (‘unemployed at last!’ as Joseph Furphy famously exclaimed in the 1890s.)It survived in pockets all over the country and had a big revival in the Sixties among the hippies and then the greenies. (Potts, a sort of poet of poverty, says he is an active member of the Australian Greens). Whatever else they have to tell us, the ‘Skint’ exhibition and Potts’s book remind us of the mystery of happiness. The moon and sixpence.
Weather freak
What splendid rain we have had this late summer and autumn! I notice with some astonishment that grass already seeding has been mowed along the Hume Highway. The latest dollop of rain, 14mm as I tap away at 5.30am on Wednesday, might well see us into the cool of winter and so green right through to spring.
I am a weather freak and have been for years. Whether weather fascinates me because I am English, or because I have lived most of my life in marginal rainfall areas, I am not sure, but freak I most certainly am. I have three different seven-day weather forecast sites book-marked on my computer, as well as several three or four day ones, a radar site and statistical sites.
It comforts me that there remains a great deal of unpredictability about forecasting. The three seven-day forecast sites are usually significantly at odds with each other and what is forecasted seven days ahead is almost invariably very wrong. Predictability takes surprise out of life and a life without surprise is no life.
The last time I left Australia for an extended period abroad we flew out of Albury over a Hume Dam haloed by a wide beach of orange dirt. When we came back it was brim full and the countryside glorious green. It has not been full since, and that was ten years ago. I hope to see it brim full when I return in November, but not as a prelude to ten years of near drought.
Long leave
I am at last beginning to think that I might actually get away and be going on long leave. To have six months with few deadlines to meet and worry about will be delightful. Because the boundary between work and leisure, for the likes of me, is so blurred I work (or is it play?) far too hard. This makes holidays and leave all the more novel and delightful. Most of my life has been punctuated by periods of extended leave, not least because my parents were missionaries in outlandish parts of the world for many, many years. This meant that they were entitled to long periods of leave every three or four or five years throughout my childhood and teens. Sometimes we children went with them, at other times we were parked with friends. My twenty first birthday present, while in my finals year at university, was to fly to join my parents at the end of a period of long leave and to travel with them from England to stay with a friend of my father’s in the south of France and then by train to Trieste where we boarded a ship that took us down the east coast of Italy, through the Mediterranean and the straits of Gibraltar down the west coast of Africa, round the Cape of Good Hope and up north to Beira in Moçambique, calling in at all sorts of exotic places on the way. It caused me nearly to fail my finals, but was well worth it. It was on this trip that I tasted garlic for the very first time, the beginning of a love affair that continues. My parents were both fine cooks but very English, garlic to them was an abomination.
I must now turn my attention to composing a talk for the farewell party being so kindly organised for me by a splendid parish. What do you say on such an occasion? Wait and see!
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
Canon D Neaum 1912-2001
When Mr Smedley and I went for his second driving lesson I noticed seven luggage labels tied all over the interior of the car with ‘remove handbrake' printed on each. Our driving pitch was the street itself, a cul-de-sac. With me beside him, Albert drove up, turned round and returned and so on. Then I noticed that the engine was getting hot, so stopped to see why. I saw that the radiator muff was closed. Another repetition! Never drive unless you have uncovered that muff. On our third lesson I noticed that the handbrake labels had been replaced by seven bearing the words ‘turn up the muff'.
So it went on until Albert was a fairly competent driver, though too cautious for my taste. I drove him to meetings in Derby for a while and then dared to let him drive me until the day came when he was to drive alone into that city. It was a beautiful hot day and I went to see him off for what he said was to be an important meeting. To my surprise I found, in the early afternoon, my pupil busy cleaning and polishing the car and asked him if he had managed alright and was told the following tale.
Said Albert - "I was driving quietly through Milford and Duffield and had reached Burleigh Hill when a silly ass of a farmer drove about a hundred cows across the road. It was a hot day and I had all the windows down. I blew my horn, but the farmer took no notice, so I crept into the cattle, hoping they'd move aside. I was in the middle of them when one cow turned its rear to the car and ;et fly its bowels, covering the car inside and out and also me. Then, to make things worse, the farmer burst out laughing and said ‘The first time one of my cattle has revealed its feelings of you motorists.'" "So you didn't get to your meeting" I said. "How could I?" he answered - "I was covered in shit and the car was the same - I came back to clean up the car".
About that time the Daily Mail was offering one pound for any interesting tales from its readers. Albert came over to see me with the story he had written, with all its lurid language, to send to the newspaper. I told him they would never publish it but he insisted on sending it - needless to say it was not published and Albert didn't get his pound.
Two last accounts to show how too much over-drinking had increased Albert's simplicity. He was a fervent reader of his car's book of instructions. This contained the advice that the engine oil should be changed when the car had been driven six hundred miles. As the odometer neared that total he looked at the numbers even more than he looked at the road. As he was driving up the hill on the main street in Belper he saw the required number come up, drove to the side of the road and, taking the necessary spanner, got under the car and removed the sump nut, beneath the engine. This action let a long stream of dirty oil run down the road. Uncaring, he replaced the nut, poured in new oil and was ready to drive off when he was stopped by the police and was later fined two pounds for fouling the street!
One day he asked me if I'd noticed that, when driving, there would be miles when no vehicles passed the other way but, when one wanted to pass a lorry, there was always a car coming to hinder one's passing. I told him that it was only when one wanted to pass another vehicle that one noticed the cars going in the opposite direction. Not believing me, he told me a couple of days later that he had discovered how to overcome that obstacle - he started his intended journey a minute earlier! How daft can you get? (to be continued)
HOW TO ENSURE A SHORT LENT
Those have a short Lent, who owe money to be paid at Easter.
Benjamin Franklin
CONGRATULATIONS
Birthdays
Gladys Petschack. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13th April
Daphne Clark. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13th April
OLD FASHIONED EASTER PICNIC
TODAY, Sunday 11th of April at 12pm in the gardens at the back of St. Augustine’s Hall there takes place our Old Fashioned Easter Picnic. Bring a plate of food to share, all ages will enjoy themselves. So do come along and join in the fun with three legged races, sack races and egg & spoon races, cards, table games and lots more and then, as a finale an Easter Egg Hunt. Hosted by Arise 255 Youth Group.
BOOMERANG LUNCH PARTY
Next Sunday the 18th April
Replies are still coming in, but if you have not replied, you may like to telephone Jeanette (5821 5092) or Pat (5831 3080). Tickets will be issued. Please bring your ticket with you and show it to one of the welcomers at the entrance door.
It would be helpful if you would wear a Name Tag. Any type will do: Church, Service Club, Probus Club, “stick on”, etc.
The Guest of Honour is looking relieved and relaxed after the rigours of Holy Week and Easter. Members of St Augustine’s Vestry are hosting our lunch; the Bishop is coming (but will be late arriving), and the Menu reads “deliciously”, commencing with Tapas, then the main course and dessert.
Vegetarians, diabetics or sufferers from coeliac disease, please tell Heather Fitzgerald, John Pleming, Pat or Jeanette in advance. The caterers will happily provide an alternative meal.
All those who attend will contribute to making this a happy and memorable occasion for Canon Andrew Neaum - and for each one of us.
“MOVING ON”
The Grief Support group meets on Tuesday 13th April, in the Narthex at 7.30pm. The program will be “Conversation on the Stages of Grief”, lead by Joan McCann. All welcome.
MEN’S BREAKFAST
The Speaker at our “Bon Voyage” Men’s Breakfast for Canon Andrew on April 17th will be Trevor Bell, the Rector of Mooroopna a young and vibrant fellow who should show our own Rector up for the decrepit old wreck that he is! 8.00am Eucharist and very fine cooked breakfast from 8.30am. Please encourage folk to come and add your name and theirs to the list on the Narthex table.
CATECHESIS BEGINS
Our fine children’s program, Catechesis of the Good Shepherd resumes this week with changed times as follows: Tuesdays from 4.00pm to 5.00pm for 6-9 year olds and Fridays from 9.30am to 10.30am for 3-6 year olds. If you are interested in having your own children a part of this program have a word with one of the clergy.
EVENING GUILD
The Evening Guild meets this week in the Narthex at 1.30pm on Thursday the 15th. All are welcome.
READINGS 18th APRIL
Acts 9:1-6; Revelation 5:6-14
DATES FOR THE DIARY
Apr 11th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Easter Picnic hosted by Arise 255
Apr 13th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .“Moving On” Grief Support Group
Apr 14th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Vestry 2pm
Apr 15th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Evening Guild
Apr 15th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . S.C.C. Annual Meeting
Apr 17th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Men’s Breakfast
Apr 18th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Boomerang Lunch for Canon Andrew
Apr 20th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Friendship Group
Apr 20th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Baptism Preparation
Apr 21st. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Parish Council
Apr 24th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Garden Working Bee
Apr 27th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Rector disappears for six months
May 22nd . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Women’s Breakfast
June 6th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Patronal Festival
July 15th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Evening Guild - Fashion Parade
July 17th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Travelling Ministry Fair
Aug 5th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Meeting Parish Fair 4.00pm Roz’s Room
Oct 16th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Travelling Ministry Fair
Nov 13th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Parish Fair and Garden Party
Duties for Sunday 11th Sunday
Readers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Heather Pearson, Gwyn Cowland
Readers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mary Pearson, Samantha Conway
Servers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Michelle, Beth
Servers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Jenny, Frank, Joan
Intercessors. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Heather Fitzgerald, Children
Euc. Assts 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Danita Potter, Bev Condon
Euc. Assts 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Christine Evans, Jenny Pleming
Welcomers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Shirley Dean, Bev Reither
Welcomers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Nola Brewer, Jenny Moran
Sidespeople 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Trevor Batey, Joy Campbell
Sidespeople 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Alan Akers, Nola Brewer
Tea 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Shirley Dean
Welcoming Table 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Dorothy Cook
Lawn Mowing. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Merv Cowland, Trevor Batey
Duties for Sunday 18th April
Readers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Danita Potter, Pat Griffin
Readers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Charlotte Brewer, Christine Jones
Servers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Beth, Michelle
Servers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Helen, Tom, Zebedee
Intercessors. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Bev Condon, Nancy Noonan
Euc. Assts 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .John Horder, Carole Henderson
Euc. Assts 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Greg Pestell, Joe Fernandez
Welcomers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Beryl Goodfellow, Bev Ralph
Welcomers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Frank Steen, Sandra Simonis
Sidespeople 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Joe Pearson, Norm Mitchelmore
Sidespeople 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lelsey Kenna, Charlotte Brewer
Tea 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Gwyn Cowland
Welcoming Table 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bev Walsh
Lawn Mowing. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .none this week
REQUESTS FOR PRAYER
Nicole Ackland, Lorraine Ashbury, Jeffrey Andrewartha, Debbie Bagley, Laura Bates, Liam Bognar, Ian Carmen, Val Cowper, Robert Cook, Kath Grills, Frank Harder, Wyn Lawrence, Hilder Lidgard, Sophie Mould, Albert Oxenbury, Koop Purss, Kevin & Isabelle Richards, Peter Swindells, Heather Vines, Bill & Glenda, David, David & Judith, Kaye.
Year’s Mind
Ethel Robertson, Maisie Lear, Nancy Tacey, Minnie Laslett 11th, Thomas Cochran, Alf Taig, Alan Batey 14th, Jake Green, Mary Howard, Geoffrey Bowen, Robert Moss, Erma Wilson 15th, William Wilson, John Maynard 17th.
THIS WEEK IN THE PARISH
Monday 12th April Rector’s Day off
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
Tuesday 13th April
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
10.00am Playgroup - Roz’s Room
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
4.00pm Catechesis for 6-9 year olds - Atrium
7.30pm “Moving On” Grief Support Group
Wednesday 14th April
7 .45am Mattins only - Lady Chapel
10.00am Eucharist - St Augustine’s
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
5.30pm Hospice Board Meeting
6..30pm EfM- Roz’s Room
Thursday 15th April
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
9..30am Eucharists - Hakea & Acacia
11.00am Eucharist - Harmony Village
1.30pm Evening Guild
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
5.30pm Choir Practice - St Martin’s Chapel
Friday 16th April
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
9.30am Catechesis for 3-6 year olds - Atrium
11.00am Eucharist - Mercy Health
Saturday 17th April Associate Priest’s day off
7.45am Mattins - Lady Chapel
8.00am Eucharist - Lady Chapel
8.30am Men’s Breakfast
6.00pm Vigil Eucharist - Lady Chapel
Third Sunday of Easter 18th April
8.30am Sung Eucharist - St Augustine’s
10.30am Eucharist - St Augustine’s
8.45am Eucharist - St Luke’s Dookie
10.45am Eucharist - St Mary’s Katandra
12.30pm “Boomerang Lunch” - “Connections”