THIRD SUNDAY OF EASTER
18th April 2010
Graphics and cartoons & liturgical material appear only in the printed version
A POM AND HIS PET
An English tourist found a bedraggled penguin on the beach at Bondi and asked a nearby policeman what to do with it. “I’d take it to the Taronga Park Zoo, mate,” the policeman said. Off went the tourist. Next day, to the policeman’s surprise, there was the Pom and the penguin waddling along Bondi Beach together. “Hey, you,” said the policeman, “I thought I told you to take the penguin to the zoo.” “I did,” said the tourist, “and he enjoyed it so much that I am taking him to the pictures today.”
THIS AND THAT
Andrew Neaum
There is one way at least that I shall be caring for St Augustine’s while I am away for six months. I contribute to the parish by way of Direct Debit and so my monthly giving will continue all the time I am abroad! The more of us who give in this way the better it is for the parish! It is very easy to do too and costs nothing. There should be forms on the table in the narthex to sign up for this way of contributing to the parish. If there are not, ask for one in the Parish Office.
The Old Fashioned Sunday School Picnic was most enjoyable last Sunday, a great credit to Mary Pearson who conceived of it and planned it, and to the good folk who attended and contributed. Well done indeed. I was particularly pleased to note that some of my old skills remain. My mother comments in her Tristan diary from the early nineteen fifties that I was slow and steady enough in the egg and spoon race to win. It is probably the only sport I have ever excelled at and I did very well last Sunday over half a century later.
Next week Sunday falls on Anzac Day and so the readings and Eucharist will be chosen to fit the day.
I have more than enough to do this week, not least two other items to write and so the task of writing this column, which I usually enjoy enormously, appears daunting. I finish now then by appending a piece of light verse I wrote and broadcast for the ABC years ago.
Andrew
and the Prunes
Andrew was a little lad
whose parents were religious,
Elders in the local kirk,
well thought of, strict, prestigious.
Young Andrew was their heart’s delight,
the star of Sunday School,
Loving, pious, thoughtful, kind,
and never rude or cruel.
But one day, sadly, so it seems,
(I fear it must be said)
Upon the wrong and nasty side
he clambered out of bed
To face his healthy breakfast prunes
cantankerous and crabby:
“I don’t want prunes because,” he snapped,
“they’re squashy, black and flabby.”
“Andrew,” said his angry mum,
“Don’t speak like that, my lad!
God’s command to little boys
is ‘Honour Mum and Dad’.
“Eat up or God will punish you
for being so cross and crabby.”
“I won’t, I won’t! Those prunes,” he cried.
“are squashy, black and flabby!”
The pantry shelf received the prunes,
and Andrew went to school
Facing threatened wrath divine
insouciantly cool!
Late that night with Andrew lying
fast asleep in bed,
His parents sat beside the fire,
its embers glowing red.
A wild and violent storm blew up.
Thunder cracked and roared.
Lightning flashed, the wild winds lashed,
and hail and rain down poured.
And then they heard with great delight
and not a little wonder,
Andrew heading for the pantry
between the peals of thunder.
Perhaps he’s learned his lesson then,
and come back to himself!
The God of thunder’s sent him back
To prunes upon the shelf!
Indeed! For from the pantry door
a little voice balloons:
“What a lot of bloody fuss
about a bowl of prunes!”
PROTESTANTISM
Protestantism..... affirmed the spiritual without the need for ritual. It relished argument, lived in language, and celebrated a faith that had its beginning in the Word. Its spirit was democratic, with the Bible and the church office open to all. Its polar opposite is not atheism, but the New Age “faiths” that celebrate feeling over thought and privilege a caste of gurus over a questioning congregation. Michael Gove
ORDINATION
When Philip Toynbee was dying of cancer he asked a priest who was visiting him how he came to be ordained: “He told me that he had tried several things first - engineering and psychiatric nursing among them - but this was the first pool he had stepped into in which he couldn’t feel the bottom. A wonderful answer.”
Well done is better than well said.
Benjamin Franklin
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
Canon D Neaum 1912-2001
Having now no assistant Priest in the parish the vicarage soon became my second home, that is, as a constant place to visit. Mrs. Walker was some fifteen years younger than her husband and was half French and delighted in having a young man in attendance. The chief three of these were myself and my two friends, Eric Adams and Jack Pepper. We were all members of the choir, altar servers and odd job men at any parish affairs. Jack was a son of the family to whom Fr. Baldwin had donated the Sunday sirloin each Tuesday morning.
It was as we were approaching the season of Lent that the Vicar’s wife asked the three of us what we were giving up for Lent. We were all giving up smoking, sweets and the cinema amongst other things. I said that I was thinking of growing a beard (at that time I had a small wart on my chin that always bled when shaving). To my surprise Mrs. W. then suggested that all three of us should grow beards and if we would do so right through until after Easter, she would give each of us a box of a hundred cigarettes. We accepted this offer and stopped shaving from that moment.
The first Sunday in Lent came and there was Jack, clean shaven as he came to don his robes. He told us that he had been so ribbed at the office where he worked that he couldn’t stand it and decided to drop out of the contest. On Lent two, Eric appeared with a similar bare chin and with the same reason. Fortunately for me, the only companions I had at work were trout and an elderly, retired stone mason as occasional assistant and he, having a beard some foot long, gave me encouragement rather than ridicule.
Came Easter with its rejoicing marked not only by the sweet smell of incense in our worship but also the delight at the thought of the sweet smell of tobacco on the way home. So it was, until my next visit to the Vicarage to claim my reward. Then came the shock, for she said she had made the bargain to all three of us and as two had dropped out the bargain was off. Somewhat incensed, I decided to keep the beard and have done so for the following seventy years apart from three short breaks of which one was when I was made a deacon and married three weeks after; another when I was priested, for a couple of weeks only, and finally when the children, while we were on Tristan da Cunha, wanted to see what Pa looked like without a beard. They were so disturbed that they wouldn’t give me a goodnight kiss, saying I was strange. That was my last time of shaving and just for the one day.
I’m sometimes tempted to shave it off but everyone to whom I say that says ‘no’. I think they are afraid of what might lie underneath - a chinless wonder?
Eric, a little older than I, had fallen in love. His heart was set on the eldest of three of the prettiest sisters in Belper. He was having some trouble in getting anywhere with the lass as the parents wouldn’t let one of the daughters go out alone and Eric’s gooseberry was the middle daughter. Eventually he asked me if I would take this lass out of his way now and then so that he could at least have a few moments with the lass whom he eventually married.
Again fortune shined on me as Eric took me to the girls’ home to be introduced to the family. To my delight, the father was a keen angler and, knowing I had a trout farm, took to me so much that often, when the others wished to go walking, I was immersed in fishing talk with Pa.
But soon it was accepted that I was ‘Walking out’ with the middle daughter as Eric was with the eldest; the difference was that whereas he was looking for a wife, I had no such intent and though she was a charming girl, I never became anything but an anti-gooseberry.
This situation carried on for almost a year until two things brought it to an end. The first and most important being the acceptance of Molly and her family that Eric’s intentions and behaviour were good and the second an action of mine which I now think was a bit cruel to a young lass. If the younger sister was pretty she made the mistake of ruining her appearance by applying too much make up. In the Sunday paper on the last day of our mutual walks appeared an article on girls’ makeup with the heading ‘Face Powder like Flour’. I cut this out and gave it to the lass to read. Quite naturally there was little talk between us during the ensuing walk and we parted on our reaching her home with the only kiss I had ever imposed upon her.
Eventually she married an old school friend of mine and made him an excellent wife. My fate in that direction will come later and I can’t help thinking how unsuitable my ‘Anti-gooseberry’ lass would have been as a Parson’s spouse. God is good, for he found me the perfect wife when the right time came.
CONGRATULATIONS
Birthdays
Claire Fisher. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .20th Apr
Anniversary
Elaine & Daniel McMullen. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24th Apr
ARISE 255
The Youth Group, Arise 255 meets this Friday, 23rd April. Come along to have fun at a “Gross night” with stinky, slimy things that make you go Blahh. When or what is unclean? Come along and find out what the leaders have organised and what’s in store.
PREPARING YOUR WILL
Anglicare are hosting a free Wills Preparation Forum presented by the Lodden Campaspe Legal Aid service. It is on Tuesday, 4th May from 10.30 to 11.30am. Come along to learn how to prepare a Will and about the role of an Executor. It takes place in St. Augustine’s Church Hall. Registration is essential. RSVP by Friday 23rd April. (Phone 5821 7630)
OLD MRS HUBBARD
The contents of our food cupboard are at present being very gratefully received by those who sometimes find themselves in difficult times for one reason or another. Be assured that our generosity is very much appreciated. With the onset of colder weather the need for food parcels appears to increase as do appetites. If you are able to contribute to our food cupboard over the next few weeks especially with Long life Milk, tinned fruit or tinned soup your donations will be whugely appreciated. Thank you.
GARDEN WORKING BEE
There is a Garden Working Bee this Saturday, 24th April at 9.00am. St Augustine’s grounds are looking absolutely gorgeous, it’s a great time of year for gardens and ours are presently, pretty, gentle and green, thanks to the great work of our gardening group. Come along and join these hard and merry workers. They will make you most welcome.
ARTFUL FRIENDS & FRIENDLY ART
The Friendship Group visit the Benalla Art Gallery on Tuesday 20th April. We leave the Church car park at 1.30pm. Anyone able to provide a car or in need of a lift please contact Pat 58 001168 or Val 58216974.
BOOMERANG LUNCH PARTY
Our “Boomerang” Lunch takes place today. At 12.30pm. A hundred and fifty people will gather at “The Connection” to have lunch with Canon Andrew Neaum and his family. Our guests will include representatives of the Goulburn Valley Hospice Care Service, Shepparton Inter-Church Council and Azem Elmaz and his wife from the “People Supporting People” organisation. Norman Weaver is the Master of Ceremonies and there is a Guest artist to shiver the timbers of those atuned to the music of the spheres. Church Warden John Pleming will be proposing the toast to our Guest of Honour.
ON LEAVE
The Reverend Gail Bryce is away from Wednesday to Wednesday, rejoicing for the most part in grandchildren and family. May she have a lovely and enriching time.
CONFIRMATION CLASSES
Anyone interested in being confirmed this year should let us know as soon as possible. If there is to be a Confirmation it will be on October the 24th.
ROOF REPAIRS
This week the ceiling of the Supper Room is to be replaced due to water damage. We apologize to those using the hall for any inconvenience caused
THE BISHOP’S CERTIFICATE 2010
Lay readers, pastoral carers or Eucharistic ministers who want to acquire or update their licence, or who are simply interested in deepening thier understanding of the resources and traditions of Christian Ministry, consider enrolling in the Bishop’s Certificate in Theology and Ministry. Beginning in July, Experiencing Faith looks at how we shape our living as disciples of Jesus Christ and considers eight basic ways of living with faith: such as singing, praying, using the Bible, and discipleship. The first series will take place at Saturday meetings from 10am to 4pm and will be offered at Wodonga, Shepparton, Euroa. For more information chat to the clergy or contact the Parish Office.
PARISH COUNCIL
There is a Parish Council Meeting on Wednesday starting at 7.30pm.
READINGS 25th APRIL
Micah 4:1-4, Hebrews 10:32-11:1
DATES FOR THE DIARY
Apr 20th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Friendship Group
Apr 20th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Baptism Preparation
Apr 21st. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Parish Council
Apr 24th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Garden Working Bee
Apr 27th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Rector disappears for six months
May 4th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Anglicare - Wills Preparation Forum
May 22nd . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Women’s Breakfast
June 6th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Patronal Festival
July 15th. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Evening Guild - Fashion Parade
July 17th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Travelling Ministry Fair
Aug 5th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Meeting Parish Fair 4.00pm Roz’s Room
Oct 16th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Travelling Ministry Fair
Oct 24th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Episcopal Visit - Confirmation
Nov 13th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Parish Fair and Garden Party
Duties for Sunday 18th April
Readers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Danita Potter, Pat Griffin
Readers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Charlotte Brewer, Christine Jones
Servers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Beth, Michelle
Servers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Helen, Tom, Zebedee
Intercessors. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bev Condon, Nancy Noonan
Euc. Assts 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .John Horder, Carole Henderson
Euc. Assts 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Greg Pestell, Joe Fernandez
Welcomers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Beryl Goodfellow, Bev Ralph
Welcomers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Frank Steen, Sandra Simonis
Sidespeople 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Joe Pearson, Norm Mitchelmore
Sidespeople 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lelsey Kenna, Charlotte Brewer
Tea 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gwyn Cowland
Welcoming Table 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Bev Walsh
Lawn Mowing. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . none this week
Duties for Sunday 25th
Readers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Heather Fitzgerald, Liz Gyles
Readers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Nancy Noonan, Christine Evans
Servers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Michelle, Beth
Servers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Jenny, Bethany, Sophie
Intercessors. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Danita Potter, Celebrant
Euc. Assts 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Heather Fitzgerald, John Griffin
Euc. Assts 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Christine Evans, Jenny Pleming
Welcomers 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Heather Nichols, Anita Saville
Welcomers 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Charlotte Brewer, Gloria Wayman
Sidespeople 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Gwyn & Merv Cowland
Sidespeople 10.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .John Pleming, Alan Akers
Tea 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pat Griffin
Welcoming Table 8.30. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Dorothy Cook
Lawn Mowing 24th . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Margaret & Brendan Carroll
REQUESTS FOR PRAYER
Nicole Ackland, Joyce Auldrige, Lorraine Ashbury, Jeffrey Andrewartha, Debbie Bagley, Laura Bates, Liam Bognar, Barbara Brown, Ian Carmen, Val Cowper, Robert Cook, Kath Grills, Frank Harder, Mavis Henderson, Wyn Lawrence, Hilder Lidgard, Sophie Mould, Albert Oxenbury, Koop Purss, Kevin & Isabelle Richards, Peter Swindells, Heather Vines, Bill & Glenda, Buffy, David, David & Judith, Kaye.
Year’s Mind
Rubina Young, Leonard Brereton 18th, Beryl Long 19th, Bill Ibbott, Mabel Ford, Frederick Petschack 20th, Stoyan Yosifofski 21st, Alexandros Damian-opoulas 22nd, Evelyn Gould, Leslie Alexander, Joyce Daivis, Kole Stojchevski 23rd, William Fentham, Merle O’Donohue 24th.
THIS WEEK IN THE PARISH
Monday 19th April Rector’s Day off
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
Tuesday 20th April
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
10.00am Playgroup - Roz’s Room
1.30 pm Friendship Group- meet in the car park
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
4.00pm Catechesis for 6-9 year olds - Atrium
Wednesday 21st April
7 .45am Mattins only - Lady Chapel
10.00am Eucharist - St Augustine’s
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
4.00pm Eucharist- Banksia
7.30pm Parish Council
Thursday 22nd April
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
10.15am Eucharist - Grutzner House
11.00am Eucharist - Harmony Village
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
5.30pm Choir Practice - St Martin’s Chapel
Friday 23rd April
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
9.30am Catechesis for 3-6 year olds - Atrium
11.00am Eucharist - Ave Maria
5-30-7-30 Arise 255
Saturday 24th April Associate Priest’s day off
7.45am Mattins - Lady Chapel
8.00am Eucharist - Lady Chapel
9.00am Garden Working Bee
6.00pm Vigil Eucharist - Lady Chapel
Fourth Sunday of Easter 25th April Anzac Day
8.30am Sung Eucharist - St Augustine’s
10.30am Eucharist - St Augustine’s
8.45am Eucharist - St Luke’s Dookie
10.45am Eucharist - St Mary’s Katandra