NINTH SUNDAY AFTER PENTECOST
14th August 2011
Graphics and cartoons & liturgical material appear only in the printed version
CANDIDATE FOR ORDINATION
Ordination candidates are required to have a chat with the bishop. There follows an imaginative transcript of one such chat.....
Bishop:
"What part of the Bible do you like best?"
Candidate:
"I like the New Testament best."
Bishop:
"What book in the New Testament?"
Candidate:
"The book of Parables, Father".
Bishop:
"Would you kindly relate one of these parables to me?"
Candidate:
"Once upon a time a man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho and fell among thieves, and the thorns grew up and choked him. And he went on and met the Queen of Sheba, and she gave that man, Father, a thousand talents of gold and silver and a hundred changes of raiment. And he got in his chariot and drove furiously. And when he was driving along under a sycamore tree, his hair got caught in a limb and left him hanging there. And he hung there many days and many nights, and ravens brought him food to eat and water to drink. And one night, while he was hanging there asleep, his wife, Delilah, came along and cut off his hair, and he dropped and fell on the stony ground - and it began to rain, and it rained forty days and forty nights. And he hid himself in a cave. And he went on and met a man who said, "Come in and take supper with me", but he said, "I can't come for I have married a wife." And the man went out into the highways and byways and compelled him to come. He went on and came to Jerusalem and he saw Queen Jezebel sitting high up in a window, and she saw him. She laughed at him, and he said, "Throw her down out of there!" and they threw her down. And he said, "Throw her down again," and they threw her down seventy times seven and of the fragments they picked up twelve baskets full. Now whose wife will she be in the day of judgement?"
Bishop:
"Never have I heard such a marvellous and compelling conflation of the Biblical narrative. You have a more complete view of the Bible than those who come from the Theological Colleges brandishing a Bachelor of Theology degree! I will ordain you next Saturday. Well done."
THIS, THAT
AND THE OTHER (9)
Andrew Neaum
A busy week in prospect makes for a fragile day off. My study desk calls me from more restful pursuits to tackle looming tasks well ahead of time so that they don't get on top of me. I need Diana back home to declare my desk out of bounds.
Second hand roast
I did manage a happy hour or two in the kitchen on Monday morning. So absorbed was I that I forgot to take my car to be serviced. One of my current enthusiasms is concocting little meat balls in a variety of flavours, and cooking them in a rich sauce. With Elizabeth, Nathan and the girls over for the weekend, primarily for Elizabeth to play the organ on Sunday, we had enjoyed a roast leg of lamb. This meant that there were its remains to do something creative with. I decided to attempt the almost impossible, and turn it into something that didn't declare itself to be inadequately disguised second-hand roast meat, no favourite of mine.
When we were children our parents served up the remains of Sunday's roast in all sorts of time-honoured ways that never, ever really disguised the fact that it remained what we children called "dead meat", with its unmistakable and less than lovely taste. The week's first serving was usually cold slices of Sunday joint with hot vegetables, not at all favoured by us children. The heated vegies made the meat sweat, but didn't resurrect it to anything like the joys of the fresh roasted delights of Sunday.
The next day the meat might well be minced and very modestly spiced to make stuffed tomatoes. These were not too bad and infinitely preferable to stuffed marrow, the blandest of insipid meals, always served with a horrible white sauce and with the second-hand, cold-meat flavour still very evident.
The following day, if the joint had been large, there might well be cottage pie, which in my youth was never ever made with fresh mince, but always with the Sunday joint. Again the second-hand flavour of the meat was very noticeable, though liberal dashes of Worcester sauce did help disguise it. An alternative which was possibly worst of all, was what my mother considered a delicious curry. Little cubes of hard Sunday joint floating in a yellow gruel, along with bloated raisons and pieces of onion. The banality of this was ameliorated slightly by it being always served up with slices of banana, a mixture of raw diced tomato and onion, desiccated coconut and pulverised peanuts.
My mother was a very fine cook. It was just second, third and fourth hand Sunday joint that defeated her.
It is little wonder then that one of my great culinary goals, a sort of cooking holy grail, has been to discover how to disguise the distinctive taste of cold roast. Minced and made into small meat balls with an equal amount of good quality sausage meat, plus coriander, parsley, a little lemon zest and a couple of chillies is just the ticket. This, when cooked in a rich pulse and tomato sauce is splendid. I ate well on Monday night and have five double meals frozen in the fridge for future busy weeks such as this one.
Funerals and "poverty"
The middle of Monday was taken up by a funeral. Although all the preparation for this one had been done the week before, funerals are always a little draining. This is not least because I am obsessive about not being platitudinous and so actually try to say something worth listening to in my homilies. I then wonder if I haven't said something unappreciated, because a lot of people desire the platitudinous and conventional, especially at such times.
In the afternoon my study desk caught and held me, though not for church work. I tackled my tax return, discovering that with the crashed share market my savings and superannuation have diminished by thousands and thousands of dollars. Ho hum! The Rectory might have to be my retirement home after all. I will not use my losses as an excuse not to raise my giving in response to the Stewardship Campaign. Anyone who tries that ploy on me will get a coldly withering and contemptuous stare!
The census and the Post Office
I filled in my census form on line. This was beautifully easy and satisfying. The only down side was that I wanted to put a dozen ticks next to "Anglican", but online this was impossible.
I took a large envelope to post at the Post Office on Tuesday and on discovering that I was five cents short of the sum necessary for its posting, the Post Officer let me off, instead of requiring me to break into a note! I was impressed. It seemed a tiny example of someone understanding in a secular context that the Sabbath is made for man, rather than man for the Sabbath.
Inclusive language
I have to confess that I dislike much inclusive language. Especially in hymns. Dear Lord and Father of Mankind, changed by the tin-eared editors of our hymn book to Dear Father Lord of humankind annoys me beyond telling. One of my favourite hymns, with the superb descant we sang a couple of weeks ago, is Holy Holy Holy. So unbearable is our new hymn book's version I have to put the old one in the pew sheet for us to sing. The new one encourages me to contemplate suicide.
In writing articles these days you are expected to violate basic rules of grammar to avoid giving offence to the hypersensitive or the ideologues! We are expected to use third person plural personal pronouns such as "they," "their," or "them," to refer back to an indefinite singular antecedent like "everybody". For example: "Everybody should be aware of their [rather than his] right to do whatever......"
Language should be allowed to change and develop organically rather than be forced to by ideology. In saying this I expose myself as a hopeless fuddy duddy and would probably be denied a degree if studying at university, because inclusive language is de rigeur in such institutions these days.
The plea to change the definition of marriage to include homosexuals is a similar case of ideology forcing language to change. I have nothing against homosexual partnerships enjoying equal rights with heterosexual partnerships, indeed I would encourage this and be happy to bless such partnerships, but marriage, by definition, is between a man and a woman. Heterosexuals have copyright on the word.
My opposition will have no effect. The ideologues will win the day and so whenever in discussion or writing there is a need to discriminate between what are two very different sorts of relationship, we will have to resort of circumlocution or the invention of a new word. Grrrrr! From ideologues and fanatics, good Lord deliver us.
The return
All appears well with Diana's visa applications. We gather that the major one, which is to become a permanent resident, is likely to be issued (with all its provisos and its "temporary" preliminaries) in late November. She will return to Australia on the 26th of August on a different, three month visitors' visa, which should last a few days beyond the November date. Because she can only receive the major visa outside of the country we plan a short holiday in New Zealand for late November. Hopefully all will synchronise.
London's burning
How fragile our society seems. The share market collapse and the riots in London, remind us how easily things can fall apart. As I write this, early on Tuesday morning, the little round we used to sing as school children comes to mind:
London's burning, London's burning
Look yonder, look yonder,
Fire, fire. Fire, fire.
Pour on water, pour on water.
Deracinated yobbos are not confined to distant parts of the world. They are every-where. Believers in the sweet reasonableness of human nature, like the "new atheists", who appear convinced that we need to cleanse humankind (inclusive word out of courtesy to those for whom it is important) of all religion and superstition, need to look carefully at such arsonists, looters and wreckers.
It is not religion or superstition that motivate the mobs. We are told that it is deprivation, well yes, in part perhaps, but it is also because "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" and needs redemption.
My favourite Dickens novel is Barnaby Rudge, a fascinating read which is really a historical novel about the Gordon Riots of 1780. During this riot the rioters daubed the slogan "His Majesty King Mob" on the walls of Newgate prison, after gutting the building. I fear that this is one monarch who never dies.
Beauty
My granddaughters were with me this weekend. Beautiful beyond words. R S Thomas, curmudgeon and Anglican priest does his beautiful and elusive best though:
Children's Song
We live in our own world,
A world that is too small
For you to stoop and enter
Even on hands and knees,
The adult subterfuge.
And though you probe and pry
With analytic eye,
And eavesdrop all our talk
With an amused look,
You cannot find the centre
Where we dance, where we play,
Where life is still asleep
Under the closed flower,
Under the smooth shell
Of eggs in the cupped nest
That mock the faded blue
Of your remoter heaven.
FOSTER'S LAW
The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders.
CONGRATULATIONS
Birthdays:
Beth Brewer 14th Aug
Jacqui Martin 17th Aug
Benjamin Bell 18th Aug
Elsie Ray 19th Aug
NEXT SUNDAY GIVE THANKS!
Next Sunday please bring your pledge forms with you and pop them on the plate with your offering. The services will be more to do with thanksgiving than anything else and the 10.30 in particular will be crisp because there is another service at 11.30 for members of the Order of Australia - inadvertently arranged by an absent-minded rector half an hour too early to be convenient! The scheme we run in the parish requires us to ring up those who do not bring or return pledges. Spare yourself and us by bringing or returning your pledge! (AN)
THANK YOU
Thank you to all those who have already responded to the Stewardship letter and challenge. It is really encouraging to realise that we are a Parish Family which cares about the financial position of our Church and its ability to do God's work in this place.
The Parish Council is now looking for volunteers to help them to contact all those who do not reply or respond. It is important to check on their well-being and to give them the opportunity to be a part of our giving program.
To be a volunteer you will be required to attend two meetings (one for clear and effective guidelines and training, and the second to de-brief). Each volunteer will phone eight people and be given as much support as needed.
There is a sheet to sign at the back of the church if you wish to be a volunteer or you can speak to any member of the Parish Council. (HF)
FRIENDSHIP GROUP
The Friendship Group meets on Tuesday 16th August, "at home" in the Narthex at 1.30pm.
CHRISTIANITY AND ISLAM
The study on Christianity and Islam is well supported and so I will be ordering books and we will start in a few weeks time. The list remains on the table for last minute sign-ups.
RAFFLE ROSTERS
Team up with a friend and pop your names on the list in the narthex to do a turn of reffle ticket selling. You will be blessed.
EVENING GUILD
On Thursday the 18th at 2pm in Roz's Room, the Evening Guild meets. All are welcome.
SENIORS WEEK: FACTS, FOOD AND FUN
The Social Responsibilities Committee is in the process of organising a function for the elderly to do with education in several important areas, with a lunch and entertainment. The date is the 5th of October from 11.30am to 2.30pm. Note the date.
OUTREACH
The latest edition of Outreach is available in the Narthex. Help us to spare the cost of posting it by taking your copy home with you. Many thanks to Helen Malcolm for all the work involved in putting it together.
"ENCOURAGING YOUNG PEOPLE"
At Holy Trinity Church, Benalla, August 20th 10.00am to 3.30pm, there is a workshop on encouraging the young to be church involved.
SAUSAGE SIZZLE
On the 10th of Sept a fund-raiser, volunteers are required. There is a list in the narthex for names.
PARISH COUNCIL
There is a Parish Council Meeting on Wednesday at 7.30pm.
FOR THE DIARY
Aug 20th Wedding
Aug 21st Thanksgiving Sunday
Aug 27th Garden Working Bee
Aug 27th St. Columb's Travelling Fair/St. Augustines
Sept 3rd Women's Breakfast
Sept 10th Harvey Norman Sausage Sizzle (Fete)
Sept 13th Funeral Expo/St Augustine's Hall
Sept 13th Social Responsibilities Meeting
Sept 22nd Parish Fair & Garden Party Meeting
Sept 24th Garden Working Bee
Oct 1st Car Boot Sale/Christ Church Murchsion
Oct 1st Wedding 2pm
Oct 5th Lunch function
Oct 8th Weddings 10.00am, 2.00pm and 3.30pm
Oct 9th Pet Service 10.30am
Oct 11th Social Responsibilities Meeting
Oct 22nd Parish Fair & Garden Party
Oct 23rd Confirmation
Oct 29th Wedding
Oct 29th Garden Working Bee
Nov 12th Wedding 2pm
Nov 19th Wedding 1pm
Nov 19th Wedding 3.00pm
Nov 26th Wedding 2pm
Dec 3rd Women's Breakfast
Dec 10th Men's Breakfast
Dec 10th Wedding
Duties for 14th August 2011
Readers 8.30 Heather Fitzgerald, Norm Weaver
Readers 10.30 Mary Pearson, Courtney Craven
Servers 8.30 Volunteers please
Servers 10.30 Zeb, Jenny, Joe
Intercessors Bev Condon, Children
Euc. Assts 8.30 Bev Condon, John Griffin
Euc. Assts 10.30 Jenny Pleming, Greg Pestell
Welcomers 8.30 Pat Griffin, Dulcie Ackland
Welcomers 10.30 Frank Steen, Sandra Simonis
Sidespeople 8.30 Trevor Batey, Joy Campbell
Sidespeople 10.30 Charlotte Brewer, Nola Brewer
Tea 8.30 Shirley Dean
Welcoming Table Dorothy Cook
Mowing Norm Mitchelmore, Alan Jeffery
Altar Linen/August Rosemary Mitchelmore, Pat Griffin
Duties for 21st August 2011
Readers 8.30 Carole Henderson, Heather Pearson
Readers 10.30 Charlotte Brewer, Christine Jones
Servers 8.30 volunteers please
Servers 10.30 Frank/Joan, Joe Zeb
Intercessors Heather Pearson, Andrea Fisher
Euc. Assts 8.30 Carole Henderson, Heather Fitzgerald
Euc. Assts 10.30 Jenny Pleming, Joe Fernandez
Welcomers 8.30 Pat Griffin, Dulcie Ackland
Welcomers 10.30 Frank Steen, Sandra Simonis
Sidespeople 8.30 Trevor Batey, Joy Campbell
Sidespeople 10.30 Charlotte Brewer, Nola Brewer
Tea 8.30 Gwyn Cowland
Welcoming Table Judy Lloyd
Mowing None this week
Altar Linen/August Rosemary Mitchelmore, Pat Griffin
READINGS NEXT WEEK
Exodus 1:8 - 2:10, Romans 12:1-8
REQUESTS FOR PRAYER
At the beginning of each month this list is cleared and ALL names need putting down again on the list in the narthex and signed in. No names should be listed without a person's permission. The list for names of those to be prayed for is kept in the top drawer of the little plastic box of drawers on the narthex table.
Alan Akers, Deb Bagley, Liam Bognar, Marlene Bovaird, Joy & Ian Carmen, Ross & Helen Dainton, Val Downie, Frank Harder, Katherine Holt, John & Kate Horder, Elsie Lieschke, Bronwyn Mitchell, Marj Millerick, Margaret Kidman, Albert Oxenbury, Isabelle Richards, Patricia Sparkes, Peter Swindells, David, Peter, David & Judith, Kaye, Lewis.
Rest in Peace: George Newman, Mavis Phillips, David Wilkie, Edith Spowart.
Anniversaries: Matthew McInnes, Joyce Wright 14th John Galt, Frances Reynolds-Smith, Irwin Hamilton, Bruce Beck, Frances Dealy, Giovanni Campesato 15th, Lewis Howell 17th, Mary Dunstone, Rita McKellar, Joyce Rowe 18th, Ralph Whyte, Alex Fowler 19th, Ernest Fenn, Alan Gaylard, Irene Freeman, Laurence Tinning, Richard Goodfellow, James Minchin 20th.
THIS WEEK IN THE PARISH
Monday 15th August (Rector's day off)
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
Tuesday 16th August
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
10.00am Playgroup - Roz's Room
11.00am Shepparton Aged Care
2.00pm Friendship Group/Narthex
4.15pm Confirmation Class - Library
7.30pm Baptism Preparation
Wednesday 17th August
7.45am Mattins only - Lady Chapel
10.00am Eucharist - St Augustine's
7.30pm Parish Council
Thursday 18th August
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
9.30am Eucharists - Hakea and Acacia
11.00am Eucharist - Harmony
1.30pm Evening Guild/Roz's Room
4.00pm Eucharist- Banksia
5.30pm Choir Practice - Rectory
Friday 19th August
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
2.00pm Memorial Service - St Augustine's
6.00pm Wedding Rehearsal
Saturday 20th August
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist (trad) - Lady Chapel
10.00am Benalla/Encouraging Young People's Faith
2.00pm Wedding
6.00pm Vigil Eucharist - Lady Chapel
Sunday 21st August
8.30am Sung Eucharist - St Augustine's
10.30am Eucharist - St. Augustine's/Thanksgiving
11.30am Special Service/Order of Australia
8.45am Eucharist - St. Luke's
9.00am Eucharist - St. Pauls/Rushworth
11.00am Eucharist-Christ Church/Murchison