SIXTH SUNDAY OF LENT
PALM SUNDAY
17th April 2011
Graphics and cartoons & liturgical material appear only in the printed version
LOSING ONE'S BACON
In 1890 two Mexicans who had been lost in the desert for weeks, and were at death's door stumbled on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar. They suddenly spied, through the heat haze, a tree far off in the distance. As they got closer they saw that the tree was draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There was smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving, juicy and nearly-raw bacon, all sorts. "Hey, Pepe" said the first hombre, "Ees a bacon tree!!! We're saved!!!" "You're right, amigo!" said Pepe. So Pepe went on ahead and ran up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he got to within five feet of the tree, there was a huge volley of gun fire, and he was shot down in a hail of bullets. His friend quickly dropped down on to the sand and called across to the dying Pepe. "Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa hombre?" With his dying breath Pepe called out...."Ugh,... run, amigo, run!! ...Ees not a Bacon Tree! Eet ees....eet ees.....eet ees.......ees... a....a.... Ham bush"
RETURNING TO ZIMBABWE (20)
The twentieth episode in the Zimbabwe saga will be in next week’s or the following week’s pew sheet. Palm Sunday liturgical material leaves no room in this one. However to take it’s place in this online version from which the liturgical material is missing the following Rector’s article from the Easter Parish Magazine.
Marriage, Laughter and What Not
Andrew Neaum
I recently wrote what is possibly the best piece of light verse I have ever written, a parody of a song by Gilbert and Sullivan based on an unlikely and clever pun. When I read it to Diana we all but rolled about on the floor laughing. Unfortunately it is too naughty to share. I don't think it would offend our broad minded bishop, but it would a few other people. There is always the odd, po-faced person about who prefers a parson to titter or giggle rather than belly laugh and to be more prissily prudish than a rollicking, ribald roisterer!
The best reason for getting married
One of the very best things about marriage is laughter. Diana and I do a great deal of it. The rite for the "Solemnization of Matrimony" in the old Book of Common Prayer (of blessed memory) suggests three reasons for which God ordained marriage: first, the procreation of children; second, as a remedy against sin, and to avoid fornication; third, for the mutual society, help, and comfort, that the one ought to have of the other, both in prosperity and adversity. Trendy clergy have always objected to the absence of the word "love" in these reasons. I object more to the absence of the word "laughter". One of the best reasons for getting married is companionable laughter, hilarity, merriment and humour.
It is not easy to laugh on our own. What is funny when we are in solitude rarely flares into full blown laughter. It might raise a chuckle or a smile, but that is all, laughter needs laughter to laugh.
Paul Johnson the columnist and historian once wrote of Sir Herbert Spencer that he "had no sense of humour at all. But he practised laughing, and developed a powerful chuckle which crescendoed into a roar. He also made jokes by way of experiment. He was once on holiday on the Isle of Wight with G.H. Lewes, who by then had taken on the weighty responsibility of being George Eliot's lover. The two men were at lunch when Spencer said, 'These mutton chops are very large for such a small island.' He started to chuckle, and his chuckle was so peculiar that Lewes chuckled too. Then Spencer worked up to his roar, and Lewes found himself roaring too, and they slapped each other on the back and stamped their feet and roared and roared. They made so much noise that George Eliot eventually appeared and said, 'What are you laughing about?' Lewes explained as best he could. George Eliot listened carefully, weighed the joke about the mutton chops in her mind, front, back, sideways and upside down, translated it into German and back again, Greek and Latin ditto, and finally pronounced, 'I don't think that is at all funny.' Then the men started to laugh again, and George Eliot retired to get on with Middlemarch."
Authentic Christians tend to laugh a lot. Fanatics don't. This is because humour depends largely upon bringing together two incongruous sides of one reality. It is the incongruity that is funny. Being able to see two sides of anything is one of the best remedies against the one-eyedness of fanaticism. Keep laughing.
Kindling
I am on the point of investing in a Kindle Book. With retirement looming and a bulky personal library of close to 3000 dusty, though valued, books it is time I began to off- load them and start collecting the best of them again, electronically on the single little device that is a Kindle. It enables you to hold in the palm of your hand 3,500 books and, best of all, books that are out of copyright usually cost nothing. If you wish to order a new book, it can be in your hand in a matter of seconds, cheaper to buy than a conventional version and with no postal charge. You can also instantly download magazines and newspapers. Kindles are very clear and readable, even in bright sunshine. I am still trying to find a few reasons not to buy one. My whole collection of CD's is already on both computer and i-pod and so can accompany me in my pocket wherever I go.
It is because the heart of humankind remains as deceitful and wicked as ever it was and as sorely in need of redemption as heretofore, that I do not feel at all redundant as a passionate Christian and priest. However I am happy to acknowledge that the new world of technology and science has most certainly changed our material and intellectual circumstances hugely for the better and is wonderful beyond telling.
Good neighbourliness
Living next door to a church hall, as I have for most of my life, carries both blessings and curses. There are occasionally functions that are so loud they shred the night's sweet silence unforgivably and unacceptably. I have had to venture into many a boozy wedding function, a cassock covering my nakedness, to remonstrate and demand a lowering of decibels, sometimes effectively, sometimes not. I have also several times had to call in the police. Even noisy functions like these can bring unexpected blessings though. Once, when gardening, I discovered a small cache of unopened champagne bottles buried beneath a bush, presumably deposited by an inebriated reveller for subsequent collection and then forgotten. Church halls are one of the many reasons for a life time of rectory dwelling having being so interesting and enriching.
I have been receiving a few complaints about hall noise from our neighbours here in Orr Street. I suspect my tolerance level is higher than most, but if noise is deemed unacceptable I now inform complainants that they have two sensible choices, they can ring me and I will make my customary remonstration, or they can ring the police. They should also note, I like to say, that living next to a church and its hall has inevitable consequences and the good far out way the bad. St Augustine's raises the tone of the neighbourhood, and the beautiful building and gardens probably add thousands of dollars to the value of local properties. While an occasional too noisy night is annoying and should not necessarily be tolerated, it needs to be balanced by a happy acknowledgement of all the benefits and blessings.
Murchison and Rushworth
In the middle of May our parish is to take on the oversight and care of Murchison and Rushworth. More work for your beloved clergy, of course, but more blessings too, we trust. For a start The Rev. Dr. Chris Shields, who lives in a lovely self-converted shearing shed on the fringes of the Waranga Basin, and is a full time lecturer at La Trobe here in Shepparton, will become an Honorary Associate Priest at St Augustine's which will further enrich our ministry team. Murchison and Rushworth are two distinctive and interesting towns; it will be good to get to know the folk and the locations better.
Stewardship
At a recent meeting of Bishop in Council I sat next to someone from another parish who all but died of apoplexy on hearing the word "stewardship" mentioned. She maintained that insensitive stewardship campaigns, such as the Wells scheme, had made the word unacceptable and so it should be avoided at all costs; her husband had refused ever to go church again after one such campaign, she maintained. I suspect he'd been looking for an excuse for years. In this parish our last "**********" campaign was about four years ago, and unless we are content irresponsibly to eat our way into capital to maintain ourselves, we need another. Our campaigns at St Augustine's are far less onerous or invasive than those of old, and involve no door to door campaigning, and so should be acceptable. We certainly received little flak from the last one of four or more years ago. However in a mammon-mad society such as ours, any suggestion of raising one's giving is bound to offend one or two of the profoundly mean. We plan to get a "**********" campaign underway after Easter and expect a positive response from all those who truly love God and/or St Augustine's.
Keep laughing
Keep laughing and have a blessed Holy Week and Easter. You are most likely to do so if you attend the marvellous and ancient liturgies that articulate the narrative heart of life's very meaning and purpose.
HOLY WEEK AND EASTER SERVICES
This week is the most important in the Church's year. Christians worthy of the name ensure that they get caught up in the drama of it all by attending every service and allowing God's love once more to reshape and mould their lives.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday
As well as the usual morning services there is an additional Eucharist at 7.00pm on Monday and Tuesday. Because of the PCC Meeting the Wednesday Eucharist will be a 6.00pm.
Maundy Thursday
7.00pm: Foot-washing, Commemoration of the Last Supper, Altar-stripping and the Watch of the Passion.
Good Friday
9.30am: Liturgy of the Day, including the Reading of the Passion, Veneration of the Cross and Eucharist of the Pre-sanctified. (9.00am Devotional Service at Dookie. 10.45 Devotional Service at Katandra.)
Easter Eve
10.30pm: Lighting of the New Fire and Paschal Candle, and the First Eucharist of Easter, with the Macedonian Community.
Easter Sunday
8.30am and 10.30am Eucharists at St Augustine's. (8.45am at Dookie and 10.45 at Katandra.)
CONGRATULATIONS
Birthdays:
Claire Fisher 20th April
ALTAR OF REPOSE FLOWERS
By 10.00am on Maundy Thursday we need flowers for the Altar of Repose please. Red is the preferred colour, then white but other colours too. Short stems don't matter!!
THANK YOU
Thank you to those who helped make the Palm Crosses and especial thanks to the City Council for donating all the palm branches.
EASTER CLEAN UP
On Tuesday from 9.30am we hope as many of the fit and able who are so inclined will come along to give the church a clean in preparation for Easter. Bring along any favourite cleaning implements and devices.
CHRISM MASS
In Holy Week each year the clergy of the diocese meet for the "Mass of the Oils" in the Cathedral. This year it is on Tuesday at 11.00am, and anyone who wishes to cadge a lift with the clergy is welcome to, though not to avoid the church clean up!
FEET WASHED & HOURS WATCHED
There are lists in the Narthex for the names of those prepared to offer their foot for washing on Maundy Thursday and for those taking part in the Watch of the Passion through Maundy Thursday night. Please don't leave the small hours of the night to the clergy!
PARISH COUNCIL
The Parish Council scheduled this week begins at 6.30pm at the Rectory for a meal. There is a Eucharist at 6.00pm.
LENT: LIVING NOW AND THEN
The final Lent Studies take place this week, see the back page weekly program.
THANK YOU
I would like to thank everyone at St Augustine's for the prayers, cards, letters, phone calls and words of hope and encour-agement offered to me during my illness. I can't tell you how much they meant to me. You kept me going through the hard patches. May God bless you all. Margaret Kidman.
FRIENDSHIP
The Friendship Group meets on Tuesday 19th at 2.00pm in the Narthex, all are welcome.
EVENING GUILD
The Evening Guild meets on Thursday 21st at 1.30pm in Roz's Room, all are welcome.
NEWS OF JOHN HORDER
Churchwarden John is now home and talking almost as clearly as heretofore. An amazing thing, a tribute to the wonderful skill of his surgeons as well as to his courage. Deo gratias.
JOHN PRYOR'S BOOKS HERE
Those who ordered either or both of John Pryor's books, they have arrived, They can be collected from the Parish Office and payment made in cash or by cheque payable to John Pryor left with Heather there. With each book are the details of his account to enable those who wish to pay electronically.
THINKING & LEARNING THE FAITH
On April 30th in Seymour there is a session of the "St. Columb's Travelling Ministry Fair". Anyone who would like to attend this day please contact Heather Fitzgerald or the office. The session will continue to focus on three constituencies: nurturing current church members, bringing back people who call themselves Anglican, but only worship occasionally and reaching out to people who might say they are "spiritual but not religious." It also provides an opportunity to mingle with like-minded Christians and Anglicans. A rewarding experience.
PALM SUNDAY ON MOUNT MAJOR
There is an ecumenical gathering in honour of Palm Sunday on Mount Major, Dookie today. See the Notice Board for details. (It was advertised on the early morning local radio station on Friday with such crass ignorance it truly astonished us). There will be palm fronds and dress-ups, a pretend donkey (a quiet pony) for children and others who wish to take part in the actual service (arrive by 4.30pm to get into costume for this).
FOR HOSPICE
This bi-annual fund raising function will be held at the EAST BANK CENTRE on Tuesday 17th May at 1.30pm. Tickets $25. For tickets and table reservations please contact Pat Gibson 58313080. All profit to the G.V. Hospice Care Service.
HELP YOURSELF TO "OUTREACH"
To those who are away or who rarely come to church, we have already posted "Outreach". For the rest (it is a compliment) your named copy is in the narthex. Many thanks to Helen Malcolm its editor and to Dorothy Cook and Heather Fitzgerald for good work in getting it ready to dispatch in time for Easter.
OLD FASHIONED EASTER PICNIC
Today, at 12 noon: an Old Fashioned Easter Picnic, please bring a plate of food to share and be ready to enjoy, egg & spoon, 3 legged and sack races as well as table games, beetle, and the Townsend game for the less active It should be great fun, come along.
DATES FOR THE DIARY
April 30th Garden Working Bee
April 30th St. Columb's Travelling Fair/Seymour
May 10th Junior Confirmation Classes begin r
May 12th G.V Health Ext. Care film afternoon & lunch
May 13th Turaton Concert 7.30
May 15th Hospice Service 2.00pm
May 17th Hospice Bi-annual Fund Raising Function
May 22nd Patronal Festival
May 26th Raffle Sub-Committee meeting
May 28th Garden Working Bee
June 3rd Synod
June 4th Synod
June 16th Parish Fair Planning Group meeting 4pm
June 25th Garden Working Bee
July 17th Bishop's Visit
July 30th Garden Working Bee
Aug 20th Wedding
Aug 27th Garden Working Bee
Sept 24th Wedding
Sept 24th Garden Working Bee
Oct 1st Wedding 2pm
Oct 8th Wedding 2pm
Oct 8th Wedding 3.30pm
Oct 22nd Parish Fair & Garden Party
Oct 23rd Confirmation
Oct 29th Wedding
Oct 29th Garden Working Bee
Dec 10th Wedding
READINGS for Easter Day 24th April
Acts 10:34, 37-43; Colossians 3:1-4
REQUESTS FOR PRAYER
At the beginning of each month this list is cleared and ALL names need putting down again on the list in the narthex and signed in. No names should be listed without a person's permission. The list for names of those to be prayed for is kept in the top drawer of the little plastic box of drawers on the narthex table.
Nicole Ackland, Alan Akers, Lorraine Ashbury, Jeffrey Andrewartha, Deb Bagley, John Ball, Shelly Bartlett, Jan Black, Liam Bognar, Kaye Boyle, Ian Carman, Tom Downie, Kath Grills, Frank Harder, Margaret Hoare, Katherine Holt, John & Kate Horder, Jack Halsall, Colin Henderson, Dot Hunter, Ross Judd, Glenda Kuehnapfel, Hilder Lidgard, Margaret Kidman, Lynn Morcam, Albert Oxenbury, Isabelle Richards, Peter Swindells, Suzanne Singh, Patricia Sparkes, Shirley Young, David, David & Judith, Belinda, Bonny, Stewart, Harry, Amanda, Michael, Peter, Leone & Darryl, Lewis, Rhianna.
Rest in Peace: Margaret Montgomery
Anniversary of death: William Wilson, John Maynard 17th, Rubina Young, Leonard Brereton 18th, Beryl Long 19th, Bill Ibbott, Mabel Ford, Frederick Petschack 20th, Stoyan Yosifofski 21st, Alexandros Damianopoulas 22nd, Evelyn Gould, Leslie Alexander, Joyce Daivis, Kole Stojchevski 23rd.
SERVING DUTIES THIS WEEK
If you cannot make any duty for which you are assigned, please let Canon Andrew know as soon as possible. There will be a Servers Practice on Tuesday at 4.00pm for those participating on Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter Eve.
Duties for 17th April, Palm Sunday 2011
Readers 8.30 Carole Henderson, Gwyn Cowland
Readers 10.30 Christine Jones, Christine Evans
Servers 8.30 Michelle, Beth
Servers 10.30 Joan, Bethany, Sophie
Intercessors Pat Griffin, Nancy Noonan
Euc. Assts 8.30 John Griffin
Euc. Assts 10.30 Joe Fernandez, Greg Pestell
Welcoming 8.30 Beryl Goodfellow, Bev Ralph
Welcomers 10.30 Frank Steen, Sandra Simonis
Sidespeople 8.30 Joe Pearson, Norm Mitchelmore
Sidespeople 10.30 John Pleming
Welcome Table Dorothy
Altar Linen for April Rosemary & Pat
Tea 8.30 Bev Reither
Mowing None this week
Monday office Barbara Brown, Bob Galt
Readers of the Passion Today - Palm Sunday
Narrator 8.30 Heather Fitzgerald 10.30 Christine Jones
Pilate 8.30 Norm Mitchelmore 10.30 Greg Pestell
Bystander/Centurion 8.30 Victoria, 10.30 Verna Pestell
Duties for Maundy Thursday 7.00pm
Servers Greg, Beth, Michelle
Eucharistic Assistants Clergy
Reader 1 (Exod 12:1-14) Christine Jones
Reader 2 (1 Cor 11:23-26) Ian Bryce
Psalm 22 Pat Gibson
Duties for Good Friday 9.30am
Servers Carole, Beth, Michelle
Euc Assistants Heather Fitzgerald
Reader 1 (Isaiah 52:13-53:12) Heather Fitzgerald
Reader 2 (1 Cor 1:18-31) Pat Griffin
Readers of the Passion Good Friday
Narrator Jeanette Smith
Peter Peter Martin
Servant Gwyn Cowland
Pilate John Griffin
Police/Soldiers Joe Pearson
Duties for Easter Eve 10.30pm
Servers Carole, Michelle, John Griffin
Thurifer Greg Pestell
Euc Assistants Clergy
Old Testament Readings Helen Malcolm & Ian Bryce
The Epistle (Romans 6:3-11) Pat Griffin
Duties for Easter Day 24th April 2011
Readers 8.30 Heather Fitzgerald,Liz Gyles
Readers 10.30 Jenny Moran, Lynda Prosser
Servers 8.30 Beth, Michelle
Thurifer 8.30 Carole Henderson
Servers 10.30 Jenny Pleming, Eve & Grace Way
Intercessors Clergy
Euc. Assts 8.30 Carole Henderson, Heather Fitzgerald
Euc. Assts 10.30 Greg Pestell, Jenny Pleming
Welcomers 8.30 Heather Nichols, Anita Saville
Welcomers 10.30 Charlotte Brewer, Gloria Wayman
Sidespeople 8.30 Gwyn Cowland, Merv Cowland
Sidespeople 10.30 Charlotte Brewer, Nola Brewer
Tea 8.30 Shirley Dean
Welcoming Table 8.30 Dorothy Cook
Mowing 23rd Margaret Carroll & Beryl Bonfitto
Altar Linen for April Rosemary & Pat
Monday Office Duty none this week
THIS WEEK IN THE PARISH
Monday in Holy Week 18th April
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
1.30pm Lent Group - Library
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
7.00pm Holy Week Eucharist
Tuesday in Holy Week 19th April
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
9.30am Clean up of St Augustine's
11.00am Chrism Eucharist - Wangaratta
11.00am Ecumenical Service- Mercy
11.00am Shepparton Aged Care- Anne Russell
2.00pm Friendship Group
4.00pm Servers Practice
7.00pm Holy Week Eucharist
7.30pm Lenten Study
Wednesday in Holy Week 20th April
7.45am Mattins only - Lady Chapel
9.30am Ecumenical Service - Harmony Residences
10.00am Eucharist - St Augustine's
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
4.00pm Eucharist Banksia
6.00pm Holy Week Eucharist
6.30pm Parish Council - The Rectory
Maundy Thursday 21st April
7.45am Mattins only - Lady Chapel
9.30am Eucharist - Tarcoola
1.30pm Evening Guild - Roz's Room
3.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
5.30pm Choir Practice
7.00pm Commemoration of Last Supper etc.
8.00pm Beginning of Watch of the Passion
Good Friday 22nd April
8.45am Devotional Service - St Luke's Dookie
9.30am Liturgy of the Day - St Augustine's
10.45am Devotional Service - St Mary's Katandra
11.00am Devotions - Ave Maria
Easter Eve 23rd April
7.45am Mattins only - Lady Chapel
10.30pm Easter Vigil Ceremonies & Eucharist
Easter Day 24th April
8.30am Sung Eucharist - St Augustine's
10.30am Eucharist - St Augustine's
8.45am Eucharist - Dookie
10.45am Eucharist- Katandra