TWENTY SECOND SUNDAY after PENTECOST
28 October 2012
Graphics and cartoons & liturgical material appear only in the printed version
A VERY VICTORIAN STORY
At a national conference of the Australian Hotels Association, the general managers of Cascade Brewery (Tasmania), Tooheys (New South Wales), XXXX (Queensland), CUB (Victoria) and Coopers (South Australia) found themselves sitting at the same table for lunch. When the waitress asked what they wanted to drink, the GM of Tooheys said without hesitation, "I'll have a Tooheys New." The head of XXXX smiled and said, "Make mine a XXXX Gold." To which the boss of Coopers rejoined, "I'll have a Coopers, the King of Beers." And the bloke from Cascade asked for "a Cascade, the cleanest draught on the planet." The General Manager of Carlton & United paused a moment and then placed his order: "I'll have a Diet Coke." The others looked at him as if he had sprouted a new head. "Well," he said with a shrug, "if you wimps aren't drinking beer, then neither will I."
CHRISTMAS LETTER
A lady who lives in Orr Street went to the Post Office recently to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. "What Denomination?" asked the clerk. "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" she said. "Give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic then."
THIS AND THAT (56)
Andrew Neaum
What a joy to get back into the garden on Monday and to do some hard work. Last year’s bullhorn capsicums were still fruiting and so before uprooting them we were able to pick a great crop to chop up and use in one of the base meals we regularly concoct, divide into portions and keep in the freezer for quick emergency meals when time runs out on us. The broad beans we planted before our holiday are now on the verge of yielding, there are huge broccoli heads for the picking and the chard and leeks are still prolific. Otherwise it was all digging, composting and bed preparing.
A bit agricultural
My journal tells me that it is six years since I went up into the belfry to fix the bell rope. I did so again on Friday, the day before the Parish Fair. All those years ago I put a thick plastic tube around the rope where it passes through the opening in the ceiling. Friction in the aperture causes expensive ropes to fray and then break. On my return and first ring of the bell, last Thursday morning, I noticed that the plastic tube had worn away and that the rope was threatening to break one more. I repeated the money-saving exercise of six years ago, reversed the rope, broke it where it had almost worn through, refitted the plastic tube, tied the two pieces of rope together, lined the aperture with tape and hey presto, it should be good for another five years. Trevor Batey on looking at my handiwork commented: “It looks a bit agricultural!” I knew exactly what he meant. It does, he is right.
Bells and bell ropes have played a small but significant role in my enjoyment of parish priesting. Passing inebriates and rascally school children find church bell-ropes irresistible. Outwitting them has elicited extraordinarily creative, ingenious and devious ploys from me. At present, perhaps because of our CTV camera, we appear to have little trouble from rogue campanologists, but I will not be surprised if before long I am roused from the depths of sleep by the church bell being vilely and violently pulled in the middle of the night.
Bacon and statistics
I am disgusted by supermarket bacon. When put into a hot pan it exudes a nasty, frothing brine and tends to broil more than fry. Horrible. I have been on the lookout for a butcher who will cut me really thin slices from an actual side of bacon. I found one on Tuesday and although a bit on the fat side, the bacon tastes divine and goes crisp. Unutterably delicious.
It is good to be back at my trusty home computer which works with exemplary speed. My little travelling machine has worked well, but is a trifle slow at the best of times and in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean painfully so. Because in England we were more or less constantly on the move and some of the folk we stayed with did not have WiFi, I was often incommunicado. It is salutary to realise just how dependent upon a computer I have become.
I learned last week that Shepparton has the lowest percentage of Anglicans in our diocese, according to the last census. We are a mere 14% compared to about 21% in Albury. All sorts of conclusions can be drawn from this, but none that allow us to rest content with the so few of that 14% who do in fact come to church!
Now to the continuation of my edited diary from our time in England:
Monday and Tuesday 6 & 7 of August
On Sunday Diana and I went off first thing to St Peter's, a local church in Streatham, because Diana, straight after breakfast, was heading off with Janet to their aunt's house to do some clearing and cleaning. I was to meet Ray (Rachel) in central London to go to All Saints’ Margaret Street for High Mass. The early service at St Peter's was taken unashamedly (and to my mind outrageously) straight from the Roman missal. Only half a dozen of us were present at this first service of the day, and the vicar was friendly and forthcoming in a brief chat beforehand. His little homily I cannot remember, but it was short and not unhelpful. I had a conversation with a loquacious fellow worshipper afterwards, while Diana talked to the vicar. The man I spoke with had been a journalist for the Guardian, still writes a little and had spent most of his life as a chorister in good church choirs, hence his preference now for said services. He has been a member of General Synod for years. His wife is an Australian at present involved in writing the libretto for an opera called “Eucalyptus” for Opera Australia.
After breakfast off I went to central London by British Rail and then by Tube. Regrettably I went without a jacket or umbrella and so when I emerged from the earth’s bowels at Oxford Circus to discover that it was piddling with rain, I had to wait for twenty minutes under a bus shelter before making a run for it. As I entered All Saints’ porch there was Ray looking very elegant.
The church when we entered was as lovely as ever. The right hand wall and aisle of the building had been screened and scaffolded two years ago, it is now open, restored and resplendent, the mosaics glittering and colourful. Although in the middle of the great holiday month of August there was an excellent choir of ten men and women who filled the space with glorious sound. The service setting was by Herbert Howells, not calculated to raise my heart to the stratosphere, but lovely. The anthem was Elgar's "O Taste and See...." beautifully evocative of many services gone by. Robust hymns ended with "Guide me O..." reminding me of my parents who loved it and belted out the soprano and bass line no matter where they were, cathedral or parish church. The sermon was far too long and contained nothing memorable, or even worth saying I thought and Rachel agreed.
We declined the open invitation to drinks and refreshment and instead walked all around central London looking for the perfect pub. It was very crowded through Soho and then when we approached the river we ran into an Olympic crowd watching some sort of marathon. We pushed our way through over to the South Bank, and there strolled along the Thames for a while before heading south and as a shower of rain fell we dropped our too high standards and entered an ordinary sort of pub where there was no bitter on tap and we had to settle for cider. Nor was there a meal on offer, but we were directed up the road to a pleasing establishment that offered us a very fine and traditional steak pie with chips.
We then made our way to the Tate Modern to view an exhibition of the paintings of the Norwegian artist Edvard Munch. We hired a little electronic guide each and so had the benefit of a running commentary on most of the significant paintings. There was little that I would choose to hang on my wall, which is hardly surprising from such an emotionally explicit and angst-ridden artist, but he is a fascinating painter nonetheless, very interested in cameras and films, so there were lots of photographs by him as well as paintings, these were mostly small photos of himself though and rather dull. He achieved fame in his own day and was notable for painting many different versions of the same object or subject. None of the versions of his most famous painting, “The Scream” were on display. All in all it was a lovely day and Ray, as always, was a delightful companion.
As she made her way home by train to Oxford I headed to Victoria station to catch a train to East Croydon and then to Purley. There I caught a bus to Diana’s aunt’s house near Woodmansterne. Diana had forgotten my backpack, and so the evening and night there was an example of living with and in the bare minimum. We were hard at it cleaning and clearing the house all the next day, making trips to Op Shops in Banstead as well as to rubbish bins. We finally made our way back to Diana’s sister Janet’s house for a late dinner of bacon, beans, egg and mushrooms followed by strawberries. We then packed and sorted our own clobber between knapsack and cases, for we were unlikely to revisit the cases again until we left for Cape Town.
Wednesday 8 August 2012 6.55am
I sit in the lounge of a cottage in Burnham Market, north Norfolk to which Dave has driven me and Ray. We arrived towards evening yesterday and the cottage is delightful. It is one of those lovely flintstone dwellings that are so characteristic of Norfolk, old but done up, entered though a low arch and a passage way to a tiny courtyard off which there is an entrance into the kitchen. The only other downstairs room is a lounge. Upstairs there are three bedrooms, a well fitted-out bathroom and then up in a sort of attic another bedroom. The doorways have low lintels and I have just banged my head on the one between the lounge and kitchen.
I left London for Cambridge having sped across the city with Diana from Janet's pad in Streatham, leaving at about half six or thereabouts. We arrived at Bounds Green in North London with enough time to test both of our English credit cards for access to cash. We then bussed to Martha and Llew's place where we were greeted by an ecstatic young Bella and Max, their first sight of Diana their grandmother for over a year. I read our emails on Martha's Apple and we made some sandwiches and had breakfast before heading for North Finsbury station by tube, only a couple of stops away, to buy a ticket and for me to catch a train to Cambridge.
After fond farewells the train sped off through largely unremarkable countryside. I couldn't be bothered to read, but ate a couple of sandwiches and gazed out of the window. It was good to see open countryside again, to start with quite hilly, so much so that we passed through a number of tunnels, the train travelling fast. As we got close to Cambridge it began to rain. I called Dave and Ray who informed me they were about ten minutes away and asked me to get some sandwiches and a packet of crisps to eat in the car as we headed for Norfolk. I had the sandwiches we’d made, but bought some crisps and then went outside to wait in a light rain. While outside I spotted a dog collar, and above it an amiable and well known face. It was none other than Peter McLeod Miller, the Rector of Albury! A coincidence of coincidences. He was with a friend and like me waiting for a lift, we had been on the very same train. He is a most amiable fellow and it was good to see him. He was in England on holiday but also possibly to do a wedding for someone in France. He appears to know everyone and everything and is full of life, fun and derring do. Just after he was picked up, so too was I and how good to see Dave again after two years. Much the same to the eye and no balder. How is it, I wonder, that he has escaped that fate for so much longer than I did? We headed for Westcott House to pick up my new Kindle, stupidly sent to the wrong address. Fortunately it was there and so we headed for Norfolk stopping at Ely to look over that most beautiful of Cathedrals where David had been ordained. Cambridge being a hothouse of the Roundheads and Cromwell having been born in Ely means that all statues and glass were destroyed during and after the Civil War, but the cathedral remains a glory. In the chapterhouse there is a modern statue of the Virgin Mary in bright blue with a head of golden hair. It is particularly intrusive and unpleasing. All in all though Ely proved to be a beautiful little detour. So we pressed on through increasingly lovely countryside to our destination, “Unicorn Cottage”. Later in the evening we went to the local and swish pub in what is a swish town. Burnham Market, David tells me, is known as "Chelsea on Sea". At the pub there was free WiFi and so I downloaded the contents of my old Kindle onto my new one and so I was able to have a read of the biography of Maurice Bowra this morning.
After we had unpacked we went for a drive to the coast. The tide was out, exposing miles and miles of hard packed, ribbed sand. In a chill wind, with rain in the air, we walked out almost to the sea, turning back before the tide which comes in quickly, rendering the lower stretches of beach increasingly difficult to get across. We walked the town buying provisions and booked in for a meal at the hotel. It is a lovely village, flintstone houses and lots and lots of little specialist shops and providers. There were hollyhocks in flower everywhere and we were enraptured by the scent of a blossom which to start with we couldn't identify. On the way back we traced it down to, of all things, a lime tree (a linden) which even David didn't realise was strongly scented, its profuse flowers utterly unremarkable to the eye. I wonder that the scent hasn't been more praised in verse, perhaps it has and I haven't noticed.
The meal at the pub delicious. About eighteen quid apiece with a couple of great oysters each before hand and a bottle of lovely wine. I had sesame seeded grilled sea bass with a delicious sauce, Ray a whole plaice and Dave a half lobster, all beautifully presented. Afterwards we came back to eat cheese, bought with her by Rachel and to drink wine, which although far from cheap was in fact acidic and nasty. We compared two bottles, one French and one Australian, the latter better than the former, but we will use the remainder in a coq au vin we think. We played scrabble, a small word, tight game which I lost, Dave pipping Rachel at the end. Very close for all of us. Some good banter and conversation. David is very astute at psychologising the family. Over dinner we had a good discussion as to what exactly we mean by realism when talking of God. I am not sure if I am any clearer on the subject, but none of us has much taste for strict non-realism. Rachel's phone has just emitted an alarm and on stopping it I notice the Office of Compline displayed, beautifully clear and more con-venient than a Kindle. Ray can't believe that I reordered my Kindle without a touch screen which she uses all the time these days, such screens appear to becoming the norm...
PARISH FAIR AND GARDEN PARTY
The treasurer, Jeanette reports
Parish Fair Income $18,024.55
Less expenses $ 2,353.40
$15,671.15
Major Raffle $ 5,922.00
Total Profit $22,593.15
There may be further Donations and possible Accounts. Final figures should be published in next week's Pew Sheet.
Major Raffle Results
1st Ron Brassil 4th Ella Wilson
2nd Ros Dean 5th S Irvine
3rd Joyce Oxley 6th Mary O'Flynn
7th Ian Powell
Cheese Stall Raffle
1st Dorothy Brown 2nd Di Gribble
3rd Gail Jelliff
Jam and Preserve Stall Raffle
Madge Merrylees
Jelly Beans in a Jar answer 426
Mandy R with the correct guess
THANKS TO THE SHED CLEANING FAIRY
Thanks from John Pleming to Marg Caroll for the complete spring clean of shed
CHURCH CLEANER WANTED
We need to hire someone to clean the church each week, normally a three hour job. If anyone is interested please have a word with the Rector.
ALL SOULS
All Soul's Day this year is on Friday (the 2nd of November). There will be a Requiem Eucharist at 8.00am and at 5.30pm on that day. The departed buried from this parish during the past year will be remembered by name from our burial register. Please put any other names for remembrance on the list in the Narthex.
HAVE YOU EVER.....?
- wondered what the readings in church mean?
- questioned something in the sermon?
- asked why we do what we do in the service?
- wanted to relate your experience
to what the bible says?
- needed to rejuvenate your ministry, your
spirituality or your relationship with God?
If you answer ‘yes' to any of these questions or are just curious about your faith, then EfM could hold some of the answers. In a supportive learning community we discuss all the above questions – and we have a lot of fun doing it. Have a chat to Helen or another of the group members if you think you might like to join our EfM group next year.
LADIES EVENING GUILD
Many thanks to ALL who contributed in any way to the success once more of our Cake Stall at the Parish Fair. The meeting on Nov 15th begins with a Eucharist at 1.30pm. Members please provide a small plate of afternoon tea each for our final meeting of the year in Roz's room.
FOR THE DIARY
Oct 27 Sat Murchison Car Boot Sale
Nov 2 Fri All Soul's Day
Nov 3 Sat Women's Breakfast
Nov 24 Sat Parish Quiet Day
Nov 27 Tues "Moving On" Dinner Meeting
Dec 21 Fri Carol Service, St Augustine's
Feb 03 Sun Cologne Chamber Orchestra
Feb 13 Wed Ash Wednesday & AGM
REQUESTS FOR PRAYER
At the beginning of each month this list is cleared. Names need putting down again on the list in the narthex and signed in. No names to be listed without permission.
Betty Adam, Hilary & Alan Akers, Joyce Auldrige, Margaret Bakker, Heather Baker, Liam Bognar, Nola Brewer, Betty Bush, Ella & Michael Egan, Chris Furze, Liza Griffin, Pat & John Griffin, Frank and Joan Harder, Victoria Heenan, Bruce Hodgson & family, Katherine Holt, Nancy Fennell, Edwyn Johnson, Elsie Lieschke, Merle Maskell, Colin McKenzie, Lynn Morcom, Olive Paez, Shawn Pleming, Denise Read, Lynda Saville, Patricia Sparkes, Heather Steen, Joyce & Ray, Tom & Val, David, Suzanne & Jake, Cheryl & Simon.
Rest in Peace: Ken Knights
Anniversaries: Reg Shearer, Lorna Sanderson, Ernest Mustey, William Stagg (28), Eric Bartlett, Ernest Young, Veronica Vilk (29),Pamela Taylor, Ray Prosser, Maisie Heenan (30), Lindsay Dealy (31), Annie Galt, Barbara Sheppard, Brenda Jonas (1), Philip Clayton, George Petts, Thomas Daimianopoulos (2),Marie Peoples, June Kemp (3).
READINGS NEXT SUNDAY
Ruth 1:1-18 Psalm 146 Hebrews 9:11-15
Duties for Sunday 28 October
Readers 8.30 Gwyn Cowland, Jeanette Smith
Intercessor 8.30 Jeanette Smith
Servers 8.30 Beth, Siobahn,Michelle
Euc. Assts 8.30 John Horder, Deacon Grace
Sidespeople 8.30 Norm Mitchelmore, Trevor Batey
Welcomer 8.30 Eileen, Quaife, Shirley Dean
Welcome Table 8.30 Dorothy Cook
Tea 8.30 Val Bambrook
Readers 10.30 Peter Martin, Andrea Fisher
Intercessor 10.30 Christine Jones
Servers 10.30 Rick, Sam & Maddie Coates
Euc. Assts 10.30 Joe Fernandez
Sidespeople 10.30 Volunteer Please
Welcomers 10.30 Beryl Black, Irene Crawford
Welcome Table 10.30 Dorothy Cook
Projector 10.30 Black Family
Children's Church Deacon Grace
Mowing 3 Nov Norm Mitchelmore, Alan Jeffery
Altar Linen - October Gwenda Betson
Monday Office Rosemary Moore, Jeanette Smith
Duties for Sunday 4 November
Readers 8.30 John Wellman, Pat Griffin
Intercessor 8.30 Norm Weaver
Servers 8.30 Beth, Michelle, John Horder
Euc. Assts 8.30 John Griffin, Bev Condon
Sidespeople 8.30 Merve & Gwyn
Welcomer 8.30 Dulcie Ackland
Welcome Table 8.30 Dorothy Cook
Tea 8.30 Bev Reither
Readers 10.30 Courtney Craven, Jenny Pleming
Intercessor 10.30 Joan McCann
Servers 10.30 Jenny Pleming, Grace & Eve Way
Euc. Assts 10.30 Grace, Joe
Sidespeople 10.30 John Pleming, Sandra Simonis
Welcomers 10.30 Beryl Black, Irene Crawford
Welcome Table 10.30 Dorothy Cook
Projector 10.30 Charlotte Brewer
Children's Church Mary Pearson
Mowing 3 Nov Norm & Alan
Monday Office Rosemary Moore, Jeanette Smith
THIS WEEK IN THE PARISH
Sunday 28 October
5.30pm Evening Prayer- Lady Chapel
Monday 29 October
Rector's day off
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
5.00pm Evening Prayer- Lady Chapel
5.30pm Arise 255- Youth group
Tuesday 30 October
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
10-12pm Play Group - Roz's Room - Church Hall.
5.00pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
Wednesday 31 October
7.45am Mattins - Lady Chapel
10.00am Eucharist - St Augustine's
12.30pm Deanery Meeting Wangaratta
5.00pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
6.00pm EfM
Thursday 1 November All Saints' Day
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
8.25am Narthex Breakfast
9.30am Tarcoola
11.00am Eucharist - Harmony
5.00pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
5.30pm Choir Practice
Friday 2 November All Souls' Day
7.45am Mattins - Lady Chapel
8.00am Eucharist- All Soul's Requiem
5.00pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
5.30pm Eucharist- All Soul's Requiem
Saturday 3 October Richard Hooker
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist
9.00am Jacobite Syrian Orthodox Church (till 1.00pm)
6.00pm Vigil Eucharist
Sunday 4 November 23rd after Pentecost
8.30am Sung Eucharist - St Augustine's
10.30am Eucharist - St Augustine's & Children's Church
9.00am Rushworth- Eucharist
11.00am Murchison- Eucharist
8.45am Reserved Sacrament - St Luke's Dookie
5.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel