THE FIFTH SUNDAY after EPIPHANY
5th February 2012
Graphics and cartoons & liturgical material appear only in the printed version
STRANGE DIAGNOSES
By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
Patient was released to the outpatient department without dressing.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
The patient refused an autopsy.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.
The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.
The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early August.
THIS, THAT AND THE OTHER (32)
Andrew Neaum
I first learned to swim, after a fashion, on the island of Tristan da Cunha.
A bald-headed, dog-paddling, dill
There, below the cliffs in front of our home, in the middle of the vast South Atlantic Ocean, the tide as it receded from the volcanic, black-sand beach, left lots of clear rock pools containing red-whiskered, baby crayfish, as well as a variety of small, darting fish and an occasional octopus. All of which my brother and I, as little boys, delighted to catch. It was in these pools that I first learned to put my head under water and, with a push, to project and propel myself from one side of a pool to another without touching the bottom.
I have loved water ever since, though, because never taught to swim, I am a hopeless swimmer stylistically, an unco-ordinated, thresher and swiper of the water, a bald-headed, dog-paddling, dill.
One of the great moments in learning to swim in the sea is when first you learn to open your eyes under water. Only then do you fully realise that you are in a another world, another element. You are buoyant, able to fly. An intruder in a new, silent world, where colours are strangely different, but rich and crystal clear. The landscape is altogether different too, not worn and moulded by rain and wind, but near the surface by sweeping currents and pounding waves, though deeper down hardly worn or moulded at all. A world profuse of life and growth.
Fear of salt water in the eyes
Being baptised should be just such a dive into a new world, a new element. A dive out of the everyday world into the loving, forgiving community of Christ. A different community where authority is crowned with love’s thorns, and where power manifests itself as love. A different community in which the dominant virtues are forgiveness, mercy, acceptance, honesty, generosity, love, understanding and empathy.
Such virtues are not dominant outside of this new and different community. Outside, too often, money and selfishness rule, and achievement is measured in cash and possessions.
The un-baptised, or those who for some strange reason reject or ignore their baptism, can often see little reason to plunge into our wonderful new world. They fear salt and water in their eyes, are frightened of love, generosity, self-giving, and of letting go of the material.
Hum-bug and hypocrisy
To excuse or exonerate themselves from such madness, they tend to focus on the negative, concentrate on the humbug and hypocrisy of the official Church and on the undoubted hypocrisy and humbug in nearly every single one of us.
“The Church”, they say, “is all hum-bug and hypocrisy, is no different from any other community, is as full of greedy, grasping, unremarkable humanity as is any other community. What is the difference? Why plunge into that world and life and community?”
I suppose they have a point. Too often the magical underwater world, the under-the-waters-of-baptism world of the Church is indeed unremarkable, not characterised enough by the sweet virtues of Jesus, of acceptance, forgiveness, mercy, generosity, open-heartedness and love.
And yet, there is nowhere else in our world and our society, where sacrifice and love and forgiveness are so unequivocally and emphatically preached, manifested and put on show, as in dear old Mother Church. The Church represents the ultimate alternative life-style.
Under the waters of baptism
Every Sunday, every Wednesday, every day, in St Augustine’s the rule and kingship of Christ is proclaimed. His astonishing sacrifice is recalled and represented on our altars, is reached for on our knees at the altar rail, his word and his Gospel of love proclaimed, his life is retold and relived.
Those of us who attend, even if we fail, do at least make our effort to be there, to be different, to listen, to say our "Amens". Our aspirations, our hopes, our desires are indeed different. We can open our eyes under-the-waters-of-baptism and even if love’s salt stings them, and the call to sacrifice seriously and radically, like great waves, buffet and frighten us, tempt us to footle in the shallows instead of fully plunging in, we do still catch a glimpse of the new world’s beauty. We come back for more, desire more fully and completely to enter into it and be a part of it.
How important it is, more important than our beautiful worship, more important than balancing our books, more important than filling our pews, more important than brilliant sermons, bible studies, and pew sheets, that the congregations of our parish, are truly loving and forgiving and accepting communities. Are a different world, a different element, an underwater world, an under-the-waters-of-baptism world. The kingdom of God himself, the kingdom of love, an irresistible under-the-waters-of-baptism world. A world enchanted by love, by Jesus.
Our congregations, in no small way, are in fact just that for me, and I trust for you too.
EPITAPH ON A DOG
His friends he loved. His direst earthly foes -
Cats - I believe he did but feign to hate.
My hands will miss the insinuated nose,
Mine eyes the tail that wagged contempt at Fate
William Watson 1858 - 1935
When Machiavellis was on his death bed he is said to have been visited by the pope, who said to him, "Machiavelli, will you now renounce the devil and all his works?" Machiavelli barely opened one eye. So the pope repeated, "Machiavelli, will you now renounce the devil and all his works?" Whereupon Machiavelli opened his eyes and, looking up at the pope, said, "this is no time to make enemies."
(Charles Birch Quadrant Oct 1966)
LOVE'S INEVITABLE RETURN
Sometimes with one I love,
I fill myself with rage,
for fear I effuse unreturn'd love;
But now I think
there is no unreturn'd love—
the pay is certain, one way or another;
(I loved a certain person ardently,
and my love was not return'd; Yet out of that, I
have written these songs.)
(Walt Whitman 1819-92)
A PLEASING IRONY
Ray Kuzweil in his book "The Age of Spiritual Machines" maintains that in 100 years' time, a ‘personal computer' will be the common term referring to the house of the mind. The self will be pure information, and its body something which may begin as a biological entity but may then be upgraded again and again to take advantage of the latest hardware. Once we recognise, he believes, that our essence is in our software, we will leave the body behind. It would be a pleasing irony if the ultimate triumph of materialism should herald a return to the self as that insubstantial Platonic entity better known as the ‘soul'. (Nicholas Fearn)
CONGRATULATIONS
Birthdays:
Trevor Batey Wed 8th Feb
Abel Chandler Wed 8th Feb
Joan Harder Thu 9th Feb
Venita Stewart Thu 9th Feb
Pam Wood Thur 9th Feb
Marj Earl Fri 10th Feb
Anniversary:
Max and Bev Ralph Sat 11th Feb
WOMEN'S BREAKFAST
Sign up for the Women's Breakfast next Saturday the 11th of February. There is a Eucharist at 8.00am, the Breakfast begins at 8.30am in the Supper Room. These are good functions to invited friends to, relaxed and interesting. The Speaker on Saturday will be from the Cursillo Movement.
COMMISSIONING
Next Sunday the 12th of February, Deacon Grace Sharon and Parish Missioner Jon Hanley will be Commissioned for their roles in our Parish. There will be a little ceremony at both the 8.30am and 10.30am Eucharists. A significant day in our Parish's life. Please begin to wear your name tags more assiduously to help them get to know you.
FAMILY SERVICE
We are beginning to turn Sunday's 10.30am Eucharist more fully into a Family Service. The Children's Church format, with an activity in the Narthex, is to be followed on both the 2nd and 4th Sundays. From March Baptisms will take place on 3rd Sundays rather than 4th. Whenever children are present there will be a little talk for them.
CONFIRMATION
The Confirmation this year is to be on 15th July. Anyone interested in being prepared for Confirmation please let the Rector know.
LENTEN STUDY
The Tuesday evening Lenten study, lead by the Reverend Dr. Helen Malcolm, will be based on ‘The Circle of Love: Praying with Rublev's icon of the Trinity' by Ann Persson. Participants don't need to read/own the book, material will be provided each week. This will be a partly informative, partly meditative study learning about how icons are made and looking more deeply into the interpretation of Rublev's icon. It will go for 5 weeks from Tuesday 28th Feb to Tuesday 20th March inclusive. Please signify your interest on the sheet in the Narthex. If there is a demand for a day time Course then Deacon Grace will lead one for us.
ASSISTING THE EUCHARISTIC ASSISTANTS
This is a request to all centres. As we train new Eucharistic assistants at St Augustine's, it would be helpful if communicants at all centres could guide the chalice when they are receiving the wine. It is sometimes difficult for the person administering the chalice to see the level of the consecrated wine. Your guiding hand will ensure you receive an adequate but not excessive amount of wine. Thank you.
PRAYER LINE
If there is an urgent or sudden need for prayer for anyone in the parish, we have a "Prayer Line". This is a collection of parishioners for whom intercessory prayer is an important part of their devotional life. They phone each other in an arranged sequence whenever a call for prayer is made and then get praying. For many years Hilary Akers has coordinated this, but is no longer able to do so. Pat Griffin has agreed to take it over, so if anyone would like to be a part of this ministry, please contact Pat. 588001168. Many, many thanks to Hilary for years of quiet service as co ordinator.
MOVING ON
The Grief Support Group meets on the evening of the second Tuesday of each month. The next meeting is on the 14th of February in the Narthex. The programme: a DVD and discussion of ABC TV's "The Man on the Mantlepiece". Contact Gwyn Cowland for more details.
NOMINATIONS FORMS
Nomination Forms for Churchwardens, Councillors and Parochial Nominators are in the Narthex. Allow yourself to be nominated for any of these positions if you feel you have a positive contribution to make. Filled in forms can be put into the little box that is on the table in the Narthex.
ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING
Our AGM takes place on Ash Wednesday, the 22nd of February. Reports need to be submitted to the Parish Office no later than Wednesday 8th of February!!!
BUS TO THE INDUCTION
The Rev'd Gail Bryce will be Inducted as Rector of Tatura (with Toolamba) on Thursday 9th February, 2012 at 7.30pm in All Saints Church, Francis Street, Tatura. Please signify on the list in the Narthex if you would like to book a place on the bus. The Bus will leave St Augustine's at 6.30pm. There can be a pick-up in Mooroopna. Cost $5.We are grateful to Frank Steen who has agreed to be our driver for the evening.
OUTREACH DEADLINE
Material for the next edition of Outreach is due in to Helen today the 5th Feb. Please email it to hmalcolm@bigpond.com, post to PO Box 123 Shepparton 3632 or leave it at the office.
ISLAM STUDIES
The eleventh Islam Study takes place on Tuesday this week in the Rectory at 7.30pm.We are considering the place of women in Islam and hope to have with us Elaf, a young woman from the local Islamic community, eager to talk to us about this. These studies have been a great pleasure to the Rector and Diana, and well supported. There were seventeen talkative and vibrant folk at last week's session.
READINGS NEXT SUNDAY
12th February 2012
2 Kings 5:1-14, Psalm 30, 1 Corinthians 9:24-27
FOR THE DIARY
Feb 9th Thursday Induction of Gail Bryce at Tatura: 7.30pm
Feb 11th Saturday Women's Breakfast
Feb 13th Monday Arise 255- first meeting: 5.30
Feb 13th Monday Katandra Guild AGM
Feb 14th Tuesday "Moving On": 7.30 pm
Feb 16th Thursday Evening Guild Eucharist & Meeting 1.30pm
Feb 18th Saturday Men's Breakfast
Feb 21st Tuesday Pancake Party: 6.00pm
Feb 21st Tuesday Friendship Group: 2pm
Feb 22nd Wednesday Ash Wednesday and AGM
Feb 25th Saturday Garden Working Bee
Mar 2nd Friday World Day of Prayer
Apr 8th Sunday Easter Sunday
May 10th Thursday Raffle Sub Committee Meeting 4.00pm
May 20th Sunday St Augustine's Patronal Festival
May 25th-26th Synod - Wangaratta
May 28th-31st Lay and Clergy Conference - Harrietville
Jun 14th Thursday Parish Fair Planning Meeting 4.00pm
Jun 25th-29th Clergy in Service Training Trinity College
July 15th Confirmation
Sep 24-27 Clergy Retreat - Harrietville
Oct 20th Sat 2012 Parish Fair and Garden Party
Duties for Sunday 5th February
Readers 8.30 John Wellman, Liz Gyles
Intercessors 8.30 Victoria
Servers 8.30 Beth, Michelle
Euc. Assts 8.30 Bev Condon, John Horder
Sidespeople 8.30 Trevor Batey, Norm Mitchelmore
Welcomer 8.30 Shirley Dean,
Welcome Table 8.30 Beverley Walsh
Tea 8.30 Bev Reither
Readers 10.30 Christine Jones, CourtneyCraven
Intercessors 10.30 Nancy Noonan
Servers 10.30 Zeb Fernandez
Euc. Assts 10.30 Jenny Pleming, Joe Fernandez
Sidespeople 10.30 Gloria Wayman, Charlotte Brewer
Welcomer 10.30 Sidesperson
Welcome Table 10.30 Dorothy Cook
Projector 10.30 Mary Pearson
Mowing 11th Feb Merv Cowland, Beryl Bonfitto
Altar Linen - Feb Gwenda Betson
Monday Office Rosemary Moore, Jeanette Smith
Duties for Sunday 12 February
Readers 8.30 Jon Hanley, Jeanette Smith
Intercessors 8.30 Grace Sarron
Servers 8.30 Beth, Michelle
Euc. Assts 8.30 Heather Pearson, John Griffin
Sidespeople 8.30 Joy Campbell, Joe Pearson
Welcomer 8.30 Dulcie Ackland
WelcomeTable 8.30 Dorothy Cook
Tea 8.30 Val Bambrook
Readers 10.30 Grace Sharon
Intercessors 10.30 Jon Hanley
Servers 10.30 Rick, Sam, Maddie Coates
Euc. Assts 10.30 Christine Evans, Jenny Pleming
Sidespeople 10.30 Beryl Black, John Pleming
Welcomers 10.30 Chris Sim
WelcomeTable 10.30 Dorothy Cook
Projector 10.30 Charlotte Brewer, Braden Coates
Mowing 11th Feb None
Altar Linen - February Gwenda Betson
Monday Office Volunteer in morning, Heather Steen
REQUESTS FOR PRAYER
At the beginning of each month this list is cleared and ALL NAMES need putting down again on the list in the narthex and signed in. No names should be listed without a person's permission. The list for names of those to be prayed for is kept in the top drawer of the little plastic box of drawers on the narthex table.
Hilary Akers, Liam Bognar, Nola Brewer, Betty Bush, Michael Egan, Vida Hardy, Frank Harder, Bruce Hodgson and family, Katherine Holt, John & Kate Horder, Bill Hunter, Margaret Kidman, Elsie Lieschke, Joy Markey, Olive Paez, Anita Saville, Peter Swindells, Fay Warren, Kevin Woods, Lewis, Liza, Kaye.
Anniversaries:
May Stonehouse, Robert William, Reta Esam 5th, Beryl Cormican, Brian Kelly 6th, Amelia Meloury, Jennifer Clarke, Nance Evans 8th, John Chapman, Glenis Joyce, Gladys Hooper, Jack Shortridge, Charles Turnbull 9th, Bernice Stagg 10th, Sylvia Walls, Frank Purdey 11th, Ernest Fister, Edna Moore 12th.
THIS WEEK IN THE PARISH
Sunday 5th February
5.30pm Evening Prayer
Monday 6th February
Rector's day off
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
Tuesday 7th February
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
10.00am Playgroup - Roz's Room
5.00pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
7.30pm Islam Study - The Rectory
Wednesday 8th February
7.45am Mattins only - Lady Chapel
10.00am Eucharist - St Augustine's
11.00am Social Responsibilities Mtg. - Roz's Room
5.00pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
5.30pm Hospice Board Meeting
6.00pm EfM - Roz's Room
Thursday 9th February
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
10.00am Eucharists - Mercy
11.00am Eucharist - Harmony
11.00am Eucharist - Ave Maria
12.15pm Clergy Luncheon
5.00pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
5.30pm Choir Practice
7.30pm Induction -Tatura
Friday 10th February
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist - Lady Chapel
5.00pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel
7.30pm Murchison & Rushworth - PCC
Saturday 11th February
7.45am Mattins & Eucharist
8.30am Women's Breakfast
6.00 pm Vigil Eucharist - Lady Chapel
Sunday 12th February Sixth Sunday after Epiphany
8.30am Sung Eucharist - St Augustine's
10.30am Eucharist - St. Augustine's.
8.45am Eucharist - St Lukes's Dookie
9.00am Eucharist - Rushworth
11.00am Eucharist - Murchison
5.00pm Induction - Mansfield
5.30pm Evening Prayer - Lady Chapel